


The Moment of Realizing

by therejectisemo



Category: bts army
Genre: Bantan Boys - Freeform, Fluff and Smut, Gay, M/M, Sope, bts - Freeform, namjin - Freeform, vmin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2019-11-13 05:15:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 59,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18025394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therejectisemo/pseuds/therejectisemo
Summary: Kim Taehyung was a top student in everything. Sports, art, music, academics. He's one of the most popular guys in school. Everyone loves him, except for Park Jimin.Park Jimin had just moved to Busan. He was an extremely introverted person and most people avoided him. That's until he met Taehyung. The one person he wished who would avoid him.They slowly start to get close and develop feelings for each other. Though after a serious incident that occurred in Taehyung's family, he leaves Busan to get away from all the trauma, making Jimin all alone.Now years later Taehyung being a very successful singer/idol he sees Jimin who's now a famous actor.





	1. Familiarity

Taehyung's POV

I couldn't believe it when I saw him. His pale face that always sparkled. His adorable rosy cheeks. That smile that made me fall for him. My heart was beating the same way it had six years ago. I should let him go, forget about him. After all, we didn't end things well back then. He probably hates me. Though why, knowing I'll never have a chance with him, am I still so hopeful like I was back then?

Six years earlier, in Busan...

"Taehyung, breakfast is ready!" Eomma called for me. 

I sighed as I got up from my warm, comfy bed. I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with water. The cold contact made me wake from my daze. I lifted my head, my eyes meeting my reflection. How much longer can I keep up this act? I feel like I'm exhausting myself more everyday.

I shook away my thoughts and went downstairs. The smell of eggs and freshly cooked pancakes wafted through the air. My stomach growled more the closer I was to the kitchen. 

"Good morning V." She called me by my nickname. "Good morning Eomma." I gave her a side hug as she was setting up the table. I sat down in my chair and waited until the food came to the table.

Once we were all served she showed me a wide grin. "Any plans today?" She asked. "Plans? He doesn't have time for that, he has to study. Exams are coming up." Appa stated sternly. "Honey, it's only the beginning of the year he has plenty of time to study. Plus, he should have fun. He's still a kid." She replied. I had a feeling they were gonna start fighting again. 

"Well, Eomma I was wondering if I could hang out with Jungkook's house. We were gonna study together." Eomma and Appa looked at each other. They both nodded. I was like the peace breaker, the one who made them compromise. At first I didn't mind, but now I just wanted all the awkward, tension filled family meals to end.

Ever since my brother, Namjoon went to college and came out gay to everyone they were furious at each other. Eomma, of course supported his decision. Though Appa on the other hand disowned Namjoon after that. I still loved Namjoon, it didn't matter what gender he was attracted to. I'd always be there for him. 

Appa thinks he's the "man of the house". Which is completely sexist. (I'm all for gender equality.) Whenever it comes to me he makes Taehyung 2.0. I have no say in individuality. I have to be perfect. I can't be another failed son. I'm just some replica of what Namjoon was supposed to be. I don't blame Namjoon for this happening, or maybe I kinda do. All I know is that I don't want Appa to hurt Eomma. If I have to become a different Taehyung, then I'll gladly do so. 

"I'll be heading off then. Have a nice day!" I dismissed myself from the table and waved goodbye. Now I just have to be the school role model. 

As I was walking to school my phone buzzed in my pocket. I observed the caller ID on the screen.Namjoon.

I braced myself as I answered the phone. "Hello." "Hey, I was just wondering how high school life was going." Namjoon awkwardly laughed.

"Everything's great. How's college, or more importantly Soekjin." I emphasized. "Both are wonderful. I think I'm really happy with him. Also he's a great cook and making this huge feast tonight. Make sure you get with someone who's great in the kitchen. It makes that person 10 times sexier." He told me. He does sound happier.

"I don't think I'll be finding anyone yet. Even so, I have studying to do. I'm also in track this year. I'll be really busy, so even if I did want to be with someone I probably shouldn't. I'd be too busy all the time." I made an excuse.

"Studying and aiming for a good college isn't a bad thing, just make sure you don't overwork yourself. Life is more than having a good career. I learned that the hard way. Anyways I'm probably keeping you from school. Bye, love you!" Namjoon exclaimed.

"Bye!" I hung up and stopped walking. I lifted my head and gazed at the sunrise. "It must be nice..." I softly muttered to myself.

When I sat at my seat near the window everyone started to greet me. I bowed at all of them. Showing my fake, perfect smile. 

Jungkook came running towards my desk grasping my hands dramatically. "Tae, guess what club just started today!" He requested. "Um... swim club?" I shrugged giving up on the stupid guessing. 

Jungkook gave me this look like he was done with me. "Do you even care about what I'm about to say?" He questioned. "It depends on what the club is." I answered.

"It's a music club! Everyone there works together to improve their music. Once the first semester ends they participate in a competition. If the judges like what they hear they send your performance tape to a legit record company. If they approve you, then you could become famous, have a high paying job. Everyone is going crazy about it." Jungkook ranted.

"So, what does this all have to do with telling me?" I wondered. "Well, hyung I've heard your voice and I think you could actually get an offer from a record company. That way you would finally be able to let go of this whole perfect act. Be yourself for once. It pays a lot of money so I'm sure your dad wouldn't protest it. I just think this could be a great opportunity for you."

I was glad that he cared so much about me. Though Appa would never accept it. I don't want to see him angry, that's when all hell breaks loose. 

"I'm sorry, but I can't. You don't understand how stubborn my Appa is. Maybe you could try out instead of me.  Your voice is good and so are your dance moves. You could become one of those K-pop idols." I suggested.

Jungkook exhaled deeply in disappointment. "Yeah, I know. Though it wouldn't be the same without you." I grinned and ruffled his hair. "Now stop sulking, class is about to start." 

"I'm not sulking!" Jungkook got all defensive. "Not where from I'm standing it doesn't." I teased him. Jungkook showed his bunny smile and playfully pushed my arm.

Jungkook has been my friend since we were born. He's the only who knows how I actually am. It's comforting to have at least one person who accepts you.

When class started the teacher stood in front of the room. "Good morning students! I hope you all had a good weekend." The teacher smiled. "Yes Mr. Lee." The class answered back in unison. "I have an announcement to make. Today a new student will be joining our class today. Everyone welcome Park Jimin." 

Just then a pink haired boy appeared in front of the room. His eyes sparkled brightly. He had an innocent grin. For some reason I felt like I had met him before. A simpler time when I was just Kim Taehyung. His presence felt comforting, but also dangerous. 

"H-hello nice t-to meet you all." He spoke softly as he bowed to the entire class. "Mr. Park you may sit by Kim Taehyung in the back." 

Oh no, why today of all days! The short boy sat down next to me. I quickly glanced at this Jimin guy. Seeing him made my heart sink, my palms sweaty, he even made me forget how to breathe. Why is he making me like this? 

All throughout class I was distracted. When the bell rang for lunch I was so happy. Jungkook and I went to the cafeteria to get some snacks. I honestly wasn't that hungry so I gave Jungkook my chips as we went back into the classroom. All I had was some water with me. Jungkook stole the class president's chair which was behind my desk. Almost everyone was in the cafeteria. Only a few people ever packed their lunch so we had the room pretty much to ourselves. 

Though that's when Jimin came back into the classroom. He didn't even eat anything, he just sat there and read. What a weird guy. Jungkook then started talking about some of his sci fi comic books. He's still such a kid. 

"Hey, Tae Tae!" Hei Ryung shouted across the room. "H-hey." I discreetly covered my face in embarrassment.   
"I was thinking about going to do some karaoke with my friends, do you wanna join us?" She asked me. "I have plans. I'm studying with Jungkook." I used him as an exit from these annoying girls. "Well once your done studying, you should join us. You can bring your friend too." She winked. 

"You know Taehyung already makes straight As, what's one night without studying? We can both join you." Jungkook said. I shot him a death glare. Jungkook just smiled at her. He was so in love. "Sounds good. Be there tonight at seven." She walked away all sassy. "What the hell?" I hit him on the shoulder. 

"Ow!" He muttered. "I was doing you a favor, she's hot." I rolled my eyes. He's such a player. Jimin looked up from his book and turned his head towards me with this ice cold stare. He got up and then walked away. What's with this guy? Stupid Park Jimin.


	2. Too Perfect

Jimin's POV

When I saw him he stared at me as if I were a ghost. Like I had completely fallen off the face of the earth. I was a bit surprised too, though I wasn't overjoyed. Seeing him had brought back painful memories. Ones that I wish I could forget. Even so, I was still drawn to him. My head is saying stay away, but my heart is beating like a symphony of drums. When will you learn Park Jimin? Kim Taehyung has hurt you so much. My eyes met with his, and in that moment everything melted away. All that pain didn't matter anymore. Stupid Taehyung.

Six years earlier, in Busan...

"Jimin, wake up! Get your fucking ass down here." I put my pillow over my face blocking out the sunlight peering from my window and my annoying brother's voice. "Daeshim, language!" Eomma scolded him.

  —

I got dressed and went downstairs. I grabbed a piece of toast and put my hand on Eomma's shoulder. "Goodbye!" I told her. She turned her head and glanced at me. "You dyed your hair again. Pink looks good on you." She grinned. "Thanks, Eomma!" 

"Have a good first day!" She waved goodbye. I looked at my watch as I went outside. I overslept! I'm gonna be late. I ran to school as I had my piece of toast in my mouth.   
(Lol Modoka Magica vibes from Jimin.)

I had stop running after I had lost my breath. I'm so out of shape, and I have gym today. I shuddered at the thought. Since I had moved here just two days ago, I hadn't had time to sight-see. Now that I'm walking to school I see how beautiful the sunrise is at Busan.

In Seoul I had never stopped to look at the sky or observe most of the little things. I was always rushing somewhere. I guess some things haven't changed. At least not my habits. 

I can't believe it's been a year since Appa died. He died getting into a car accident. Such a common way to die. It's so stupid. The guy who hit him was driving while he was drunk and of course he didn't die. We all have to pay for other people's mistakes and I'm sick of it. I just want everything to be normal again. Where I don't have to be the new kid.

When I first saw him, Kim Taehyung, he was on the phone talking to someone. The weird thing was, when he hung up he started talking to himself. I thought I was weird. "It must be nice...." His words replayed in my mind. What did he mean by that?

—

When I came into school the teacher was outside his classroom, waiting for me. "Hello Mr. Lee." I bowed. "It seems you're just on time. One minute longer and you would've been late. I know you're new here, so I won't be as strict about it, but try and get here a bit earlier." He said.

"Yes, sir." I bowed again. I couldn't screw this up. Most of my teachers hated me at my old school; I can't let that happen again. It's always a pain to deal with nagging teachers. 

"You can stop bowing now. I'll go introduce you to the students." When he opened the door, everyone went quiet. It seemed like he had a lot of influence on his students.

Once I heard him call my name I slowly, and very awkwardly, walked into the classroom. I gripped the straps to my book bag tightly and kept my eyes to the floor. I hate experiencing change.

"You can sit next to Kim Taehyung in the back." Mr. Lee pointed to the desk. When I lifted my head Taehyung's eyes were glued to mine. I blushed in embarrassment. I avoided his gaze and sat at my seat. I just need to get through today.

Once lunch started I had no idea what to do. I wasn't particularly hungry. I just drank some water from the water fountain and went back in the classroom. 

When I sat at my seat Taehyung slightly turned his eyes towards me. He thought he was doing it discreetly, but obviously he wasn't if I noticed it. I didn't want to just sit there doing nothing, so I pulled out a book and read.

When I was trying to concentrate on reading, that guy, Jeon Jungkook, was talking about some comic book series. Then an annoying girl came up to them. She twirled her hair around her finger as she put her other hand on her hip. She looked so desperate for Taehyung. 

Honestly I don't know why so many girls fawn over him. He's kinda creepy, especially when he stares at me. His face gets bright red and his hands get all fidgety. Seeing this makes me concerned for his health.

Hei Ryung was very loud and obnoxious. I wanted to take my book and hit her in the head to shut her up. Though I'm a not violent person, so I'd never do that. Once she left I was tired of being in the classroom. It seemed whenever Taehyung was with me, something he did irritated me. 

I turned to Taehyung and showed him my "done with seeing you" look. Then I left the room and decided to go to the library. At least there was one guaranteed quiet place here. Or so I thought.

I sat down at an empty table and brought my book out again. When having no friends at a new school and talking to no one, books become a substitute. I'm almost done with my book when this morning I only had a few pages read. 

"Psst! Hey you!" some guy whisper shouted. I just ignored him. No one would actually bother talking to someone like me. "Hey." He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to him and was in disbelief. "You talking to me?" I asked. "Well, I don't know who else I'd talk to here."

I began to notice my surroundings and realized I was in complete isolation. "What do you want?" I wondered. "Straight to the point." He sighed. "Okay, I was hoping you'd help me ask that guy out over there." I looked across the room and noticed a boy with headphones in while reading. His mint green hair swept over his eyes. 

"Why are you asking for my help? I don't know who that is." I told him. "I know that. You're that new transfer student. You're the talk of the school. Of course you'd be if you sat by Tae." Great, this guy is already going to start trouble for me. "What's so special about Taehyung? Everyone idolizes him. I don't get it," I scoffed. 

The guy next me had on a devilish smirk. "I'll agree to answer your questions about Taehyung, if you get me a date with Min Yoongi." He dealt. "No way! I don't even know who you are, yet you ask me to get a date for you. Just do it yourself and grow up." I shot back. "Why don't you go ask Taehyung why he's popular?" Ehh... he got me there. 

"Fine, I'll do it. But, why me? Why are you asking the new kid instead of one of your friends?" He looked unready for such a direct question. He put his hand at the back of his neck. "You seemed very quiet, just like Yoongi. I thought since you both didn't get around people as much, maybe you'd relate to each other. Become good friends with him and then set me up with him."

I just sighed at him. "What a stereotypical thing to say. I'm an introvert; just because someone else is doesn't mean we'll become friends. Though I guess I'll try and do it. Don't blame me though if you don't get your crush." I warned him. "Okay, thanks..." He then remembered we never exchanged names. "Park Jimin."

"Jung Hoseok." 

I had never done something like this before. Just randomly gone up to a person to ask them to go out with a guy I just met. This has been one of the strangest days of my life.

"E-excuse me?" I mumbled to "Yoongi" as I tapped him on the shoulder.  "Go away." He simply stated. Breathe, Jimin, you need to focus. "Look, I know you're reading right now, but you need to hear me out." He picked up his head not objecting and took his headphones off. I honestly wasn't thinking that would work. 

"That guy sitting at that table across the room wanted me to ask you out for him. All I'm requesting of you is just talk to him for a few minutes. I can tell he's desperate for you. Give him a chance." I spoke. 

He chuckled slightly under his breath. "Thanks, but no. If he seriously likes me then he can face me right here and confess. If he's too afraid, then what's the point in being in a relationship."

He made a good point. "I was actually just supposed to try and get you on a date. I'm pretty sure he was gonna confess then. Though I like getting to the point, plus it's obvious he likes you. Every time he sees you he blushes. You were going to find out sooner or later." I mentioned.

"Then I'll accept the date invitation. Though if I hate him, I'm making you pay." He shot me his death glare. What has Hoseok gotten me into?

I went over to Hoseok and sighed. "What did he say?" he asked in anticipation. "He said he'd go on a date with you tomorrow night." I casually said. "That's awesome! You're the best, Jimin." He grinned and hugged me.

"T-thanks." I awkwardly muttered as he hugged me. 

"Since you got me a date, I'm making you my friend. That means you now earn the right to call me by my nickname, Hobi," he allowed. "Okay, Hobi. Now to fulfill our deal, tell me about Taehyung." 

Hoseok smirked. "Can I ask you a question?" I gazed at him in confusion and slowly nodded. "If you're asking about him like this, even going out of your comfort zone to find information you could easily have found somewhere else, does this possibly imply you have feelings for Kim Taehyung?"

\----------------------------------------------  
Oh snaperdoodles! Hoseok knows what's going on.


	3. Notice Me

Jimin's POV 

"What a stupid question." I pushed Hoseok in the arm. "I just met him, like hell I'd fall for an idiot like him. I'm just curious, is that a crime?" I asked defensively. "I guess not, fine I'll do as I promised. Kim Taehyung..."

"The first time I had met him, of course I admired him. Who wouldn't when he's perfect. He's also a record breaking track champion, a great artist, and his voice, god his voice is the greatest gift on earth!" 

"He's also the sweetest guy ever. No one has heard him raise his voice. He's loyal to everyone especially his friend Jungkook. Most people here envy Jungkook, but he's actually a great guy once you talk to him. Him and Tae have been best friends since they were born. It's hard to compete with that." 

He then paused. "Anyway that's all the information I have on him. Do you have anything else you want to ask me?" He wondered. "No, that's okay for now. Enjoy your date." I grinned and got up from my seat until Hoseok stopped me. "Wait, if your so focused on other's views of Taehyung, what is yours?" I spaced out for a second thinking of the answer for his question.

Something tells me there's more to Taehyung than everyone thinks. I mean, people weren't made to be perfect, so it's practically impossible for him to be. If people are really that non observant, it must be really hard for him.

"Let's just say I don't envy him one bit." I replied. "That means, you don't like him?" 

"I suppose so. Anyways, I'll be late to class if I stay here any longer. Later!" I waved goodbye as I walked away.

Once I went to class I had made it into my seat a few seconds before the bell rang. Thank god I got here in time. "Let's get started today." The teacher came in with his lesson plan book and started the lecture.

Class had ended and everyone sprang from their seats, talking with their friends making after school plans. I just packed my things, avoiding people. When I went out into the hallway my home room teacher, Mr. Lee, spotted me. Great I of course had to run into him of all people.

"Mr. Park, I'm glad I found you. We assigned you for locker room clean up. When new people are welcomed into the school we give them a gift. Your gift is sight seeing the showers and cleaning them!" He smirked. I have a feeling teachers only get this job to terrorize their students.

I took the cleaning supplies from the hallway closet. I made my way to the very unsanitary lockers. Hopefully I didn't see anyone naked. That would be very awkward to walk in on.

I opened the door to an empty room. From that point on I began to clean the place thoroughly. With my Appa's recent death my mom needed extra help with the household chores as she was working. I just had been becoming better at cleaning since the year had passed. In this situation, my cleaning experience had been proven useful.

As I made my way to the showers I saw the once cleaned floors scattered with clothes. Whoever did this to my spotless floor (or at least used to be) I shall force my wrath upon them. Since I couldn't find anyone else in the room I just ignored my rage and picked up the clothes while putting them on a bench near the row of lockers.

What I didn't know was that the person who caused this mess was in this very room. I could hear the soft trickle of water from the shower head swirling into the drain. I didn't see his face but I could hear a faint hum resonating from him. It was so soft and earnest. My face heated as I was memorized from the mellow tune. He stopped humming, then started to sing.

Full of loneliness  
This garden bloomed  
Full of thorns  
I bind myself in this sand castle

What is your name  
Do you have a place to go  
Oh could you tell me?  
I saw you hiding in this garden

And I know  
All of your warmth is real  
The blue flower your hand was picking  
I want to hold it but

It's my fate  
Don't smile to me  
Lie to me  
Because I can't get closer to you  
There's no name you can call me

You know that I can't  
Show you me  
Give you me  
I can't show you a ruined part of myself  
Once again I put a mask on and go to see you  
But I still want you

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness  
A flower that resembles you  
I wanted to give it to you  
After I take off this foolish mask

But I know  
I can't do that forever  
I have to hide  
Because I'm a monster

I am afraid  
I am shattered  
I'm so afraid  
That you will leave me again in the end  
Once again I put on a mask and go to see you

The only thing I can do  
In the garden  
In this world  
Is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you  
And to breathe as the me that you know  
But I still want you  
I still want you

Maybe back then  
A little  
Just this much  
If I had the courage to stand before you  
Would everything be different now

I'm crying  
That's disappeared  
That's fallen  
Left alone in this sandcastle  
Looking at this broken mask

And I still want you  
But I still want you  
But I still want you  
And I still want you

Listening to these words brought tears to my eyes. This person sounds like they been through a lot. It feels as if he wrote it himself. 

I was lost in my thoughts when someone grasped my wrist. I turned around in shock. "T-taehyung" I softly muttered in embarrassment. "What are you doing here?" He snapped. 

I avoided eye contact and stared at the floor. "I was assigned clean up here." Taehyung looked as if he wanted to punch me. I closed my eyes ready to flinch. "Stupid. The homeroom teacher tells new students that as a joke. No one actually ever does it. Usually people only clean this place for extra credit or the gym instructor does it." Hearing this made me blush in foolishness.

"W-well I'm n-new h-here." I fidgeted my hands. He just chuckled. "I know that. It's just funny to see you flustered like this." Taehyung smirked playfully. "Bastard...." I sassily crossed my arms while murmuring more insults to him. 

I stayed there in annoyance. I heard a soft humming from Taehyung. "Were you the one singing in the showers?" I asked in sudden realization. "Oh, yeah that was me." He spoke nonchalantly. "Did you write the song?" 

Tae stood there, hesitating before answering. "I did, though it was for Jungkook. He's participating in a music competition at the school. This song was just sitting in my notebook, so I just gave to him. Now it won't be as useless." 

"That's bullshit! You sing that song so well. Give Jungkook another song and enter the music competition. God, you're so stupid." I scoffed as I walked out the room in frustration.

Tae's POV

"Jimin! Wait up!" I quickly slipped on my shoes as I ran out into the hallway following Jimin. "Jimin, slow down. I wanna talk to you." I put my hand on his shoulder. "What do you want? Why are following me?"

Why am I following him? I just met him today, why do I try and win his favor? And why is my heart beating so crazily? Rage? Shock?

"I just wanted to clear things up with you. You seemed irritated back there. What did I do wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?" I wondered.

"I don't like you Taehyung. I will never like you. Your whole perfect facade won't fool me. Just leave me alone, okay? I'm better off by myself." He shook of my hand and continued walking without looking back.

Why am I so hurt by this? Not everyone likes me, I know that very well. So why does his opinion matter more than anyone else in my life? I sighed as I began to walk to Jungkook's house.

I knocked on the door before I turned the door knob. "Jungkook, I'm here. Your mom let me in—" There Jungkook was, completely shirtless. I saw every aspect of his muscles flexed. My face began to heat up. "S-sorry for barging in. I'll just go wait outside." 

Jungkook grabbed my wrist and before I could protest he flung me onto his bed. He then put himself on top of me, pinning me down. My heart was beating out of my chest by the contact of our skin. I could only hear our soft breathing. There was a very slim gap between us.

"J-jungkook?" I blushed. "Taehyung?" He spoke in low sexy voice. "Don't say anything yet. I know you're not gay. At least not for me. Though I saw you standing there and I couldn't contain myself. I want you to touch every single part of my body."

I swallowed my nerves down and tried to be calm, not a blushing mess. "Y-you tried to set me up on a date. Now you're pinning me on your bed. I don't understand your methods of getting me to fall for you." I told him. 

Jungkook just gazed at me. He then removed me from his clutches and lay right next to me, still shirtless. He began laughing like it was his last chance to. He suddenly got calm and turned his head over to me. "Your right this doesn't make sense. Though I know one thing, I'm fucking in love with Kim Taehyung."

Jungkook's POV 

Earlier that day.....

"Mom, I'm going to school! See you this afternoon." I shouted throughout the house. I locked the door behind as I made my way to school. 

I saw Taehyung sitting by himself, looking out the window wistfully. I hated that he tortured himself by always worrying about what others think of him, especially his appa. I'd wish he could see himself in my eyes. That's why he'd know his much he means to me.

Taehyung and I have always been very close. From the first time I laid eyes on him I had feelings for him and I hated it.

Taehyung will never be with me even if he wanted to. His appa scares him so much, that he pretends in front of everyone. I'm even noticing he's beginning to be like that in front of me. What could his dad do that scares him so much? He's too kind to abuse anyone. Maybe Taehyung just wants to make him proud by being perfect? Though a good, reasonable father would want him to be himself. It just doesn't make sense.

I shook away my deep thoughts and went over to Taehyung. I had told him the music club story, hoping he might pursue the singing path. He really is a great singer. When I mentioned something about his appa all the light went from his eyes. I dropped the subject, feeling bad for bringing it up. 

                               ...  

When lunch came around I wanted to find out more information of his fear for his appa. Though in the attempt I got too afraid and started rambling about some comic book I had never read. That's when Hyung Ri showed up. The literal definition of bitch.

When she invited Taehyung to her karaoke outing, I don't know what was going through my mind. Maybe I thought it was a good chance to see if he was attract to girls and it was a good excuse to get away from studying. Though Hyung Ri was a terrible person to be with. I could've chosen any other girl. 

Taehyung kicked me in my shin. "Ow!" I rubbed my bruised leg. "I was doing you a favor, she's hot." I felt my ears burning from my complete lie. It was a good thing he was dense and didn't notice it at all. Then Jimin got up from his chair. Tae looked at him the way I've been wanting him to look at me for years. Pure lust. I got up as well. I wanted to go to a restroom stall and cry my eyes out. Seeing Tae having eyes for someone else is hard. How can I keep my feelings hidden any longer if he might be taken by another person? 

"Jungkook..." Tae had a puzzled expression. "I just was going to the restroom. I'll be back in a few." I basically said the truth, without the fact I was going to be a depressed mess. He just nodded as a response.

As I passed the library, I heard Jimin and Hoseok talking. "Let's just say I don't envy him one bit." Jimin replied. "That means, you don't like him?"

"I suppose so. Anyways, I'll be late to class if I stay here any longer. Later!" He waved goodbye as he walked away. 

I went into the library, hoping to learn from Hoseok what all that was about. "Speak of the devil." Hoseok grinned. 

"What were you two just talking about?" I questioned. "Just about Taehyung. Jimin doesn't like him one bit. I asked him if he had feelings for him and he punched me in my arm. That guy might be short and innocent, but he packs a punch." He rubbed his aching arm to ease the pain.

"Don't worry, he's not any competition. Now go confess to him before someone else takes him. When he's the most popular in school, it's easy to get a girlfriend or possibly a boyfriend." 

When hearing this my heart sank. He's right. Taehyung isn't mine. I have no right to be jealous. Though if I tell him, it might ruin our friendship. I'm just so afraid. Will he ever interpret my feelings?

When I arrived back home I immediately went into my room and fell onto the bed. Taehyung had texted me he'd be late because of track practice, so I had some time to kill.

While I was waiting I was trying on different outfits. I didn't know what to wear over the weekend. Taehyung had invited me to his house to stay the night, while his parents were out having a business trip. I know he probably didn't imply anything I hope for, but I still wanted to look my best. Plus, what if something had happened between us. What if we started making out, or... My face heated from the thought. No, calm down. Taehyung wouldn't do such a thing. 

I dazed out of my disturbing thoughts when the door opened. "Jungkook, I'm here. Your mom let me in—" Tae stared at me in astonishment. There Tae was standing staring at me with just my black ripped jeans on. Is he blushing? Does he f-find m-me a-attractive? 

Tae was about to leave the room when I grabbed his wrist and threw him onto my bed. I pinned him down while I was on top of him. What is wrong with you Jungkook? Why are you being so sexual with your best friend? Ehhhhh I hate this situation!

I didn't know how I managed to say and do all those kinky things to him. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I feel like my hormones were taking over. Though once Taehyung asked that question I snapped out of it and started laughing. The thing he asked was a question I had no answer to. I'm such a mess. I feel like I was laughing at myself in self pity.

Then I said the most stupid thing in my life. "Your right this doesn't make sense. Though I know one thing, I'm fucking in love with Kim Taehyung."  
Now, that he knows he might finally notice me.

 

\----------------------------------------------

Sorry for making the chapter so long. I didn't want to write two separate parts because I wanted the next one to be mainly sope and it's going to be in Yoongi's POV! Also for all those Taekook fans, I hope you enjoyed it. I was not planning to let it escalate so quickly, though I feel like Jungkook couldn't wait anymore. So it's an early surprise for Taehyung. Anyways vmin will happen but Jungkook needs his time in the fanfic to sort his feelings out too. Bye I purple all of you!!! 💜


	4. Different

Sorry to make an announcement at the beginning, but I just wanted to tell people about the themes of this chapter. It does mention some self harm, suicide, and abusive relationships. Please do not read this chapter if you're sensitive to this. Though if you're still going to read it, be prepared to be depressed.  
\----------------------------------------------  
Yoongi's POV

I heard muffled yelling outside of my door. They're at it again. I just put my headphones on and drowned all of the outside noise.   
         
                      Flashback...

"Don't talk back to me again or I'll kill you!" He kicked Eomma in the stomach. "Eomma!" I ran over to her and made sure she was okay. "Go back into your room, dear. I'll be okay." She spoke shakily as she forced a grin. "Go kid! Before you end up like your idiot mother," he yelled.

I got up, still hesitant to leave Eomma by herself. Though the beating would get worse if I had stayed. I sat near my door, covering the my ears from the shrieks of Eomma. I had uncontrollable sobbing. That was the first time it happened. After that, it began to be a daily thing.

When I woke up this morning I took a long hot shower. I didn't care if my step-dad would yell at me for using too much water. I'd probably still have to pay the water bill either way. Plus, I wouldn't have to worry about his scolding anymore. 

I sang one of my songs I wrote as I got out of the shower. I wrapped my towel around my waist as I went out into my room. I put on my clothes slowly, since the bruises and scars hadn't healed from last night. I winced as the cloth brushed against my skin.

I wore a black hoodie with navy jeans, and red converse. I put my black cap on my head as I slung my backpack across my shoulder. I slipped my phone in my back pocket as I blasted some songs through my headphones. 

I had woken up early to go to my part time job, which was at a coffee shop. I was getting my paycheck then getting all the money from my bank account. I wrapped the stacks of money together with a rubber band. 

I went back to my house and placed the money in my safe. I placed a letter next to Eomma's bed. I tried to be as quiet as I could so I wouldn't wake her. 

I called a record company last night and had sold my songs to them. It seems everything is finally taken care of. I scuffed my shoes against the pavement of the road. I was walking all alone. I feel like I'm always alone. I chuckled at my stupid loneliness. I guess, I won't have to deal with it much longer.

Today I didn't skip my classes. My teachers yelled at me for missing so much, but I didn't care. 

When lunch time came around I went to library, blasting my music again. I was hiding my phone in a book so none of the teachers knew I had it out. 

That's when I met Park Jimin, at least I think that's what his name is. He was rambling about setting me up with some random guy. I wanted him to leave me alone, so I said yes just to make him leave. I didn't care if this guy gets hurt if I stood him up. 

I got a text from my stepdad to pick up some milk for him. He doesn't even like milk. He just likes making me do his bidding. I rolled my eyes and turned off my notifications. 

Once the bell rang I went to the roof. As I opened the door to the outside, a huge gust of warm air washed over me. The sun shone brightly. Such a pretty day... to end all of this. I exhaled deeply. I stood at the rimming of the roof. I extended my arms out in the air, feeling the wind part from my hands. I grinned as I took a last gaze of scenery from this hell called life. I wish I could say it was a nice experience. Though I wouldn't be doing this if it was.

"Stop, don't jump!" A voice screamed from behind me. I turned around, seeing a boy sobbing at the sight. That was Jung Hoseok. Why is he here? I've never spoken to him before. "Don't you dare move another step Min Yoongi. I'm not letting you. You matter, you're  not useless." He cried. "You have a family, people who care about you. Yet you're going to throw it all away." 

I clenched my teeth and curled my hand into a fist. "You don't know a thing about me! You don't have the right to say all of this stuff." I snapped. "I don't know you that well, but you do matter. Everyone does. Even a stupid, ugly person like me." He said. Ugly? He was far from ugly. He was...gorgeous.

"I'll do something for you. I'll be your errand boy, give you money, make you popular, get you a girlfriend. Oh, I know, you could go out with me." 

I bursted out in laughter. This guy is offering me a date in the middle of a suicidal attempt. This day is becoming weirder by the second. 

"What did I say?" He wondered, being completely oblivious. "You're so stupid. I wanted to die peacefully, but I find you waltzing in asking me out. This is a terrible way to pick up a date. This whole situation is very ironic." I wheezed as I wiped the tears from my eyes. 

"Well it wouldn't be so ironic if you didn't do this. I was trying to ask you out when I saw you going up on the roof. If I didn't stop you, I would never have asked you. Now I'm not wasting any time on my date attempt." He murmured. 

"Wait, were you that guy at the library who got someone else to ask me out for you?" I questioned.

His face turned bright red. "Y-yeah that was me." He muttered. Why is he so attractive when he's flustered? No, Min Yoongi don't you dare be attracted to this very positive, shy, cute boy. Shut up, heartbeat! Love will get me nowhere in life. Though I want to go on this date. Something about him, is very interesting, different. 

"I'll go on a date with you. Just, promise to not have feelings for me. Bad things will happen if you get too involved in my life." He nodded in response, seeming sincere. Well Jung Hoseok, I am looking forward to seeing you. As much as I hate to admit it.

...

I didn't want to go home. The letter I gave to Eomma was a suicide letter. It listed the safe code inside, so she could leave that awful place. Hopefully she's already packing her bags. My stepdad is working the day shift. She wouldn't be caught if she left right now.

I can't go with her obviously. I'd be afraid I'd hold her back. I hold everyone back, that's one of the many things I hate about myself. I don't know where to go now. I don't have any friends I can stay with. I don't have any money left either. Why did that stupid, adorable man save my fucking life? Thinking of him gives me an idea. No, no you just met him. I can't force myself into his home. 

I'll just have to go back to my stepdad. I will write new songs everyday and sell them. Then hopefully get the hell out of this place. In the meantime I should go to work. Good thing I didn't quit.

...

After ending my shift I took off my apron and went to meet up with Hoseok at the mall. He told me he'd be in the food court. I walked through the crowded halls of the mall. I spotted Hoseok sitting at a table by himself. He was head banging to the song playing overhead. He so silly and expressive. When seeing him like this, it sets my heart on fire. Don't fall for him. I repeated in my mind. 

I went over to the table. "Yoongi! You're here." He smiled widely. My heart sank. I sat down. "So, what do want to do?" He tilted his head innocently. "Nothing in particular. Do you just want to walk around?" I wondered. He nodded. A song blasted throughout the mall. My eyes widened as Hoseok was getting up. "What's wrong?" 

"Do you hear that song?" Hoseok looked confused why I was so worked up over a small song. "Yeah..." He softly muttered. "I wrote that song." I mentioned. "Really? That's so cool! Did you rap in the song, or did you hire someone?" 

"I rap." I answered. "Well, your voice is very beautiful. I'm glad the mall played it." Why am I suddenly proud of my songs just because he complimented them? Why is he affecting me so much?  
Min Yoongi stop feeling things!

As we walked through the mall we went into some small shops. Hoseok is extremely energetic and dragged me everywhere. I just needed a break. As Hoseok was examining small trinkets from America I sat on a nearby bench. I leaned my head back and sighed heavily.

I felt a small, slender finger poke me in my shoulder. I ignored it and fell deeper into sleep. 

...

"U-um Yoongi hyung?" My eyes began to flutter open as I saw Hoseok close to me. My head was on his shoulder. Oh no! Did I fall asleep on him? 

I lifted my head up slowly. My eyes then met his. His eyes.... were dark brown and somehow sparkling. His cheeks were bright and rosy over his tan skin. I could hear his steady breathing and the soft rhythm of his heartbeat. Seeing him up close like this is making me blush like crazy.

I spaced ourselves out. I cleared my throat. "Sorry for ditching you like that. I was just going to sit down and wait for you and I feel asleep. I have a tendency to fall asleep whenever, wherever. It's not one of my finest qualities." I mumbled still blushing. 

"Well, I think it is. It makes you unique, more interesting. Keep falling asleep in random places. Just make sure you can bring me along so you can lean on me." He grinned brightly. My heart then seemed to skip a beat.

Once our date was over I went back home. I know I shouldn't have, but there's no other place for me to go. I can deal with my stepdad. The hitting stops hurting after awhile, so I should be fine.

I unlocked the front door and opened it quietly. All of Eomma's stuff was gone. That was good. At least I don't have to worry about her being here alone with him anymore. 

"FUCK YOU, PIECE OF SHIT!" My stepdad came in from the other room and slammed me onto the wall. He began to punch my stomach. I immediately fell to ground grasping my ribs, trying to breathe again. 

"I'm not done with you yet." He yanked me up by pulling my hair. His fist met my face. It felt like he knocked my jaw out of place. I sank to the floor once again. That's when he started to kick me. All I could do was block some of his hits with my arms. My arms became bruised and bled.

He gazed at me one time before leaving me alone. "Learn your place. You're not worth anything, just a poor, unsuccessful, broken fucker. You just waste space on this earth. Now go to your room. I'm sick of your ugly face."

I limped to my room. I shut the door and locked it. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Bruises and cuts covered my delicate skin. I'm pretty sure my arm was broken. 

When I saw myself like this I remember how messed up and incapable I would be if I was in a relationship. I don't want Hoseok to suffer. Being with me is a nightmare. Even now I'm bleeding and hurting like this. You deserve better than me.

I take a shower and wince at the water making contact with my bruises. I get out and dry myself off gently. Near the bathroom sink is a pack of razor blades. I slowly reach out for them. I could always leave this world now. Then I pull back my hand. My mind goes back to Hoseok. Why is he so influential on my life? I take the razor blades and throw them away. Your welcome, Jung Hoseok.

Hoseok's POV

The date went well, really well. As I got back home I was so ecstatic that I twirled through the hallway into my room. I collapsed onto my bed hugging my pillow.

I know I promised Yoongi I wouldn't develop feelings for him, but I lied. I will make him fall for me, no matter what. Something tells me he's also lying. I'll make him be mine, it just takes time.


	5. Monster

Namjoon's POV

_"Hyung, wake up! They're coming." Tae shook me, trying to awaken me. "Who's coming? Tae, we're all alone here." I shrugged his hand off of me. "Appa..." Bruises began to show on Tae. There were pools of blood on the floor. "You did this to me hyung. You failed to protect us. You don't deserve to live."_

My eyes flew open. I quickly sat up from my bed, panting in fear. "Joonie? Did you have that dream again?" Jin asked dazedly. I nodded in response, still trying to catch my breath and calm down. Jin propped himself up on the bed and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You need to call him. I'm sure he doesn't blame you for leaving him. You've been having this same nightmare ever since you came out to your family. You need to move on. I worry about you always ignoring your feelings like this. Tae is your hyung, he'd never hate you." Jin told me.

I sighed in defeat. "Yeah, I know I should. I will, but what if appa knows I contacted him and hurts eomma. Or punishes Tae for my actions. I feel like whenever I try to reach out to them, I end up hurting them more. Maybe I should've never came out to them. Now Tae is trapped because of me."

Jin's grip got tighter around me. "I'm so sorry Joonie. I know it's hard, but I'll still always be here for you. I love you." Even though I'm used to him saying mushy stuff like this, my heart still goes crazy. Not that I ever let him know that. "I love you too my worldwide handsome." I turned my head and pressed my lips against his. We then went back to sleep in each other's arms.

 

...

 

The alarm went off and its high-pitched ring killed my ears. "Ughhhhh Jin turn it off!" I buried my head under the covers. Jin turned his head to face the clock. "We can't sleep in. We've got early classes today." He mentioned as he left my side, making me cold.

"School always ruins our plans. When's the weekend?" I wondered. "Just two more days Joon, chill yourself." Jin left the room and went into the kitchen. I got dressed and followed him.

There Jin was in his mom apron making scrambled eggs. He's so sexy when he cooks. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him while putting my chin on his shoulder. "Jin?" I questioned. He hummed. "Do you think I'm weird?"

Jin chuckled softly. "Of course I do. Though you're the adorable weird, which makes you so attractive."

"Thanks, I think." I lifted my head and noticed how lucky I was to have this beautiful man. I love him so much it hurts.

_"Who is this man? Are you **homosexual**?" Appa yelled. "Yes, and I'm sick of trying to be the perfect one. This isn't me! I'm tired of being your son. You treat me like an object. I no longer have my individuality. When I met him, I felt alive for once. I'm never giving him up, just to please a sick, regretful, abusive father like you!" _

_"Once you walk out that door, you're never going to be accepted back into this family again. I'll disown you, so will everyone else in this family. Say goodbye to everyone you love." I didn't hesitate for even a second after hearing this. I opened the door and left him_.

He meant it, because when I tried to visit Tae and eomma again, something terrible happened.

_"You thought you could come back, huh? Think again fucking gay! You're a monster, you deserve to burn in hell." He shoved me across the room. "Appa, you need to stop." Tae held him back. "Tae, eomma I just needed-"_

_"Just go, Namjoon. Don't come back, it's for your own good." Tae glared at me. "I'm sorry." Tears started to stream down my face. "I said leave!" Tae shouted, his voice beginning to break._

_As I went outside it began to snow. The coldness numbed my pain. I went to Jin's apartment that night and sobbed until there were no tears left to shed. That was the last time I had spoken to them or seen them. Now not only had I lost my dad, but the rest of my family as well._

I embraced Jin closer as I recalled those terrifying memories. A tear trickled silently down my face. Jin turned off the burner and turned around. He cupped my face and brushed away my tears with his thumb.

He showered my face in kisses lightly. He grabbed my phone off the counter and handed it to me. "Call him, for me." I accepted the phone. "Only if you cook a feast for me tonight." I dealt. "Fine, just talk to your brother." Jin agreed. I dialed Tae's number.

"Hello." Tae answered, sounding unsure why he was answering me. "Hey, I was just wondering how high school life was going." I awkwardly laughed.

Our call wasn't as bad as I was anticipating. I'm glad he didn't bring up the whole Christmas dinner situation.

After I hung up, Jin was all ready to go to class. He pecked me on the cheek before he left. Jin was in such a hurry this morning, I wonder what's up with him.

Jin's POV

Once I went out the door I rushed to my appointment. I didn't tell Namjoon where I was actually going because I didn't want to worry him. I was going to the doctor because a few months ago I got into a car accident.

I broke my arm and both of my legs and recently the areas started hurting again. Namjoon didn't know me then. It's probably better he didn't. I went through a really hard time. I was so pathetic and weak, I disgusted myself.

Then I met Joonie. He saved me from my depression. He even got me calling myself worldwide handsome again. We're both messed up, but he thinks I'm amazing. I don't understand him. I'm not the man he thinks I am.

_"Where did you want to go?" I asked. "Nowhere in particular, maybe just out to dinner." Eomma suggested. "Which restaurant?" I wondered. "How about Italian? I'm craving pasta." She answered. "Okay, I'll just pull up different restaurants on my phone." Once we stopped at a red light, I looked it up on my phone._

_I set the location into the GPS. "Technology these days, so improved. We had to use road maps. It was very dangerous, but somehow we got through it." Eomma was bringing up the "old days". What a eomma thing to do._

_I pressed the gas pedal and drove as the traffic light turned green. Someone from the left of my car ran the red light and rammed right into us._

 

_Months later..._

 

_"It's been a year. You need to let go." Hyuk told me. "I know, I just need more time. I can't move on when I killed my eomma." I replied grimly._

_He put his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. Call me if you ever need to talk to someone about this. I have to go." He then left. As I got up I heard a knock on my door. I opened it to see Joonie sobbing._

_"Namjo-" He collapsed onto me, crying into my chest. I caressed his hair softly while embracing him. He began to steady his breathing and was finally able to develop words again. "What's wrong? What happened?" I questioned._

_"I tried to speak to my family, but then they ended kicking me out again. Even Tae yelled at me. He never used to raise his voice at me, not even throughout our childhood. He's a naturally calm person, but now he looked like he hated me. I don't want to lose my family, Jin." He spoke shakily._

_"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. You're the greatest, sweetest guy I've ever met. Everything will be okay, just give it time." I advised._

_"I'm so glad to have you. I'd go insane if I didn't have you by my side. Thank you so much." His words made my face light up in red. "No, Joonie. Your **my** miracle." _

_Namjoon spaced us apart and looked straight into my eyes, seeming completely mesmerized. He closed the gap between us. Our lips connected passionately. I opened my mouth slightly, making an entrance for Namjoon's tongue. I let Namjoon take control and let his tongue wander every part of my mouth. He bit my lower lip, making it bruised._

_Namjoon slammed me up against the wall, still making our lips have contact. All we could hear was our panting as we made out. I wanted more of him. I deepened our kiss. My hands began wandering against his clothed abs. Namjoon separated our lips and he began exploring my neck. He softly peppered it with kisses. He was teasing me._

_I loved this man to death, but he had a way of making me severely needy. Needy Jin is a terrible person to witness. I do unspeakable things. Which Joonie takes to his advantage._

_He stopped suddenly, meeting my eyes that were now filled with lust. He smiled at me so purely which made my heart dysfunction. "Sorry to stop, but I want to take things slow. I'm not ready to do all of that stuff yet. I'm kinda a virgin." He chuckled awkwardly._

_I had a hard time believing this. He just dominated me in seconds doing the sexiest make out ever. How is this man not actually experienced? Or maybe I just fall too easily for people, more specifically Namjoon._

_I ruffled his hair softly. "Don't worry, I can wait forever when it comes to you. In a good way, not that you're not attractive or anything I just mean-" Joonie started laughing hysterically. "Your're so cute." He buried his face in my shoulder._

_That was when I first realized I was in love with him. Though I didn't tell him that yet. I was too afraid of commitment, but last month I finally confessed._

_I can't believe we've been together for almost 8 months. I also can't believe Namjoon is still a virgin. It's been months since that night, though I can't force him to have sex with me. Not that Joonie is only sexual appealing to me, I just have doubts that he actually loves me. Though I know I shouldn't be thinking like this._

 

...

 

Once I arrived at the reception desk, I was told that a nurse would call my name when my doctor was ready to see me. Until that time arrived, I had to do paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork.

The nurse called my name. I got up and followed her through the long winding hallways. She entered room 1280. I saw the doctor's personal photos and small trinkets lay neatly across his desk.

I sat down in one of the upholstered chairs, making myself comfortable. The doctor came in shortly after. Holding his clipboard of results from when I came last week. He sat down in his rolling chair as he flipped through the pages of the report. Making me feel built up suspense and utter anticipation.

"Well Kim Seokjin, your shoulder is permanently damaged. I think you may need therapy, or surgery is always an option." He said.

"What happens if it never heals?" I wondered. "You may never be able to move your arm the same you used to. A young man like yourself shouldn't be throwing away a chance to fix your arm. This injury could lead to something far worse." He informed me.

"I understand. I'll try therapy, surgery sounds a bit too extreme for me." I replied. "I highly suggest the surgery. It helps a lot. Many people have had the operation performed and have been having no more problems with their injuries. I feel like the operation would be a wise step to take. Though if you want to do the therapy, I'm fine with you choosing that option."

I hesitated before giving him a response. "I'll do the surgery."

 

...

 

I went back to my apartment. As I unlocked the door I lazily threw the keys on the kitchen counter. Putting my hand on the back of my neck and rubbed it in exhaustion.

"Seokjin, where were you?" Joonie's tone was dead serious. He used my real name; if that doesn't say something is up I don't know what will. "Hey babe!" I smiled, trying to avoid his terrifying glare.

"Where were you? I saw on your calendar you didn't have any early classes scheduled. You lied to me and now you're here smiling innocently?" He sounded really pissed.

Being the natural sensitive person I am, I felt like crying there on the spot. Though I forced the feelings down and tried to be strong.

"Joonie, I really don't want to talk about this right now. I had a bad day, okay? Can we drop this conversation until tomorrow?" I questioned.

"Don't Joonie me! I'm not going to let this go so easily. I worried for hours and called you non- stop. Though you never answered me. I thought something bad had happened to you. I can't lose you. You're all I have in this hell." Namjoon stated over dramatically.

"I know your upset. I'm sorry I worried you. I turned my phone off for something important, I must've forgot to turn back on my notifications." I mentioned.

"What was possibly so important you made me lose my mind? Are you off seeing someone else? Are you fucking cheating on me?" This was the first time Namjoon had ever raised his voice or cursed at me. My heart sank. I don't think I can hold back my tears much longer.

"You seriously think I would cheat on you? Who do you think I am? I'm so in love with you I couldn't cheat on you if I tried! I can't believe after all this time, even after all we went through together you still don't trust me. Do you honestly hate me that much?" My voice was beginning to break, but my tears still didn't develop yet.

"Jin, I-I trust you, but I am just so afraid that you're going to leave me. I'm so messed up and damaged that you'll be tired of me some day. I'm scared of you leaving me." Namjoon muttered.

"I would never get tired of you. I'm just hurt that you think so low of me. I think I need some time to myself right now. I have to go to one of my classes. I'll be back tonight." I simply said, then grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

 

...

 

Throughout the day I was depressed and couldn't focus. I went to listen to a lecture and drowned out my crazy thoughts.

I went back home after a while even though I was dreading seeing Namjoon. Maybe I shouldn't have let him move in with me.

I opened the door to an empty house, at least I thought it was empty until I heard the shower running. I wanted to get my mind off this situation, so I  started cooking. I know I still shouldn't make a feast for him when he made me depressed like this, but I needed this distraction.

As I began making fancy course meals my mind wandered. I recalled as the events of today. First painful surgery, now a boyfriend who doesn't trust me. I'm having the best day of my life.

I have so much stress and bottled-up emotions. I always had to be the strong one for Namjoon and hid my grief of my eomma's passing. How do I get rewarded for doing all of that? Getting more depression with my stress. I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode at any second.

Then I saw tears pouring down my face. I guess I'm already starting to overflow my emotions. Then I started lightly sobbing. No matter how much I tried to wipe my tears away new ones would form.

Then I felt soft arms wrap around my waist. "I'm so sorry Jin. I didn't mean to make you hurt this much. I do trust you, but I don't trust myself. I was taking that out on you. That wasn't right of me to do." Namjoon sounded sincere.

"It's not just you. Everything in my life seems to be collapsing and all I can do is stand there and watch. I feel so useless. First I kill my eomma and now I have to get surgery. That's why I was gone so early this morning. I had an appointment." My voice was a bit incomprehensible from my heavy crying.

"Now I feel like shit for starting a fight with you. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could've gone with you." Joonie says.

"I don't want to burden you with my problems. You have so much going on with your family, I would feel terrible if I mixed you into more conflicts."

Joon sighed in annoyance. "Idiot, you're so incredible. You always put me in front of yourself. How can you be so dedicated to an asshole like me? After I yelled at you today you still made the feast I asked for. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend." He praised me.

"I'm not all that. I just get in people's way." Namjoon frowned. "What happened to my confident worldwide handsome?"

"I just-" I avoided Joonie's gaze so he didn't look into my pitiful eyes. Namjoon cupped my face, forcing me to stare at him. He wiped my tears away and kissed me passionately.

"I promise I'll make you the happiest man in the world. I won't make you cry ever again." He whispered into my ear. "I'll hold you to that." I smirked. Namjoon avoided my teasing and scooped me up in his arms.

He dropped me on our bed and went on top of me showing the devilish look in his eyes. "I'm finally ready." His low, sexy, mischievous voice rang throughout my ears.

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Lol sorry for making this chapter so long and filled with too much fluff. I ship namjin so much that I wanted to make it pure most of the time. Bye peoples thanks for reading this.


	6. Constant Appearance

Taehyung's POV

"You're right, this doesn't make sense. Though I know one thing, I'm fucking in love with Kim Taehyung." Jungkook's voice was almost inaudible.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way about you. I don't think I'm capable of love yet. I'm only a freshman, I haven't even kissed anyone before. I haven't experienced attraction to others yet." That last thing I said was a complete lie. I had just recently started being attracted to a certain pink-haired boy. At least I think it might be that.

Jungkook smiled weakly. "I understand hyung. I kinda always knew you didn't like me in that way. I just thought it was worth a try to confess, you know?" He fidgeted his hands awkwardly.

Guilt surrounded my whole body. He looked so fragile right now that one more word could break him. 

"Well, um I think I have to-" I embraced him in an instant before letting him go. "It's okay to cry Kookie." I knew him since we were born. I knew the moment I left he'd cry himself to sleep and not go to school tomorrow. I'd be worried and text him, but he'd lie to me that he was fine. That he wasn't watching cheesy romance movies while crying at the reality. 

"I still love you. Maybe not in the same way you love me, but I care about you. I hate to see you hurt like this. So please, if you ever feel like crying don't hesitate to call me. I promise I'll come running to you." I whispered softly in his ear. 

"Whenever you say things like this, it just makes me fall in love with you more." Jungkook muttered as tears developed in his eyes. 

I didn't know what else to say in a situation like this. I just tightened my grip around him and tried my best to comfort him. 

...

After Jungkook calmed down I went home. He told me he was still going to stay home tomorrow because he looked terrible. This day had been the worst, but also the best day of my life. The good thing about today was Park Jimin. Even though he said he hated me, I still want him. Not that I'd romantically pursue him, just a friend attempt. Even when thinking about the word friend and Jimin it doesn't sound right together. Then who is Jimin to me?

All I know about him is that I need him to like me. It's some weird determination that I don't know where it's coming from. Starting tomorrow I will make Jimin like me, probably as a friend though. Friend still makes me cringe.

Jimin's POV 

I can't believe that stupid Taehyung! How could he mindlessly give away a perfectly good song like that. Plus I don't know why, but every time I see him I just want to yell at him. He's been getting into my head so much lately and I hate it.

Once I made contact with my bed I immediately felt better about today. I just wanted to go to sleep, but then I remembered I had homework. So much for a good first day of school.

...

Hobi was waiting near the school gate for me. He seemed too happy, especially in the morning. "Hey, Jimin!" He greeted me. "Hey." I said with no emotion. Of course I wouldn't because mornings aren't the time to be overjoyed, especially when you have to go to school.

"I went on a date with Yoongi last night." He sighed yearningly. Oh, that's why. "Cool." I kept walking, showing complete disinterest in his love life. "Jiminie! Aren't you at least a bit curious on how it went?" He wondered. "Can you tell me during lunch? I'm going to be late to class soon." I mentioned, hoping the teacher wouldn't scold me again.

"I can't wait that long! I'll tell you on the way to your homeroom." Just great, I have to listen to him ramble about how sexy Yoongi's abs are. 

"Then he fell asleep on my shoulder and I died. He was so adorable! Sadly I had to wake him up because it was too late at night. Though it was amazing while it lasted." He blushed.

"He actually fell asleep on you? Wow, that's some K-drama shit right there." Hoseok smirked. "You watch romantic kdramas? Never would I thought you'd be so soft." 

"Of course I don't watch romantic K-dramas, my eomma does. I just happen to see some scenes from her shows." I blushed in embarrassment. I couldn't let him know I've always wanted to be an actor and star in a K-drama. 

"Okay, whatever you say." He chuckled. "Shut up, it's not even that funny." I mumbled. 

I waved goodbye to Hobi as I entered the classroom. I went to my seat and tried my best to avoid looking at Taehyung. I hate that he sat right next to me. Then I noticed he wasn't even in his seat yet. God has answered my prayers!

I pulled my textbooks and notebooks out onto my desk. I had just finished my book, so now all I can do here is sit here looking like a loner. 

"Hey, guess what I heard about Kim Taehyung." I heard one of the girls in the back of the class say. "He stood up Hyung Ri on her karaoke date. Then he spent the whole night with Jungkook. You know Jungkook's gay, right? Who knows what they did that night." 

"Though Tae isn't gay, I'm sure they didn't do anything." One girl said. "Who knows? Not anyone has seen Taehyung remotely interested in people romantically. Especially not girls. He's known Jungkook since they were kids. There's bound to be some connection between them that's 'more than friends'." 

That's the moment when Taehyung walked in. Everyone turned their heads, watching his every move. Except for me of course. I just minded my business because I don't have time to care about some popular guy who is extremely sexy. Wait, Park Jimin, did you just think he was sexy? 

He sat down in his seat next to me and got his things out. People paid close attention to him, though he didn't seem bothered by it. He turned and glanced over at me. His eyes meeting mine. That's when my heartbeat quickened. His eyes reminded me of someone I used to know.

"Good morning." His low husky voice radiated through my ears sending shivers down my spine. "Uh, hey." I stated flatly, quickly turning my head to avoid his gaze. 

"You know, I heard there's a rumor going around school that I'm gay. What do you think about it?" He smirked. "You said it's a rumor, so it probably isn't true." I answered. "What if it was?" He asked. "It doesn't involve me either way." 

"Though, what if I was-" Mr. Lee walked in and slammed his books on the desk. "Good morning class!" He spoke loudly enough to make everyone who was sleeping awake. Thank god he came before I had to talk to Taehyung again. Never in my life was I so happy to see a teacher.

"This week I'm pairing up people for a history project. Each partner will work together and present a slide show. I'll go over the requirements and what I'll be grading you on." He announced.

Great, assigned partner work. I'll probably end up having to do all the work by myself. 

"Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin." Mr. Lee called. Taehyung gazed at me showing my the weirded smile I've ever seen. It was like a box smile. My face heated up. I averted my eyes. 

...

Once the bell rang Taehyung started to talk to me. "My parents aren't going to be home over the next few weeks. We could work on the project at my house." He suggested. The thought of being at his house alone didn't sound right to me. 

"I'd rather work at the library here at school. It's open after hours. It's also pretty quiet and has plenty of legit sources to find information. It's just more convenient." I told him. "Right, okay." He sounded disappointed.

I got up to go get something to eat and go meet up with Hobi. "Where are you going?" He questioned. "It's lunchtime, so I'm getting some food." I replied. "I can go with you." He offered. "Thanks, but I can go to the cafeteria by myself. I don't need an escort."

I don't think he gets the point that I don't like him. "Okay." Taehyung dropped the subject. "Later." I then walked out of the classroom.

...

By the end of the day I had clean up duty, again. I honestly think Mr. Lee hates me. After that, I had to meet up with Tae at the library. I feel like this day is never ending. 

When I saw Taehyung he smiled so brightly. We took out our notes, checked out books, and found information to put in our presentation. It was very tiring. 

"Jimin, I think we should call it a day." Taehyung says. I nodded in exhaustion. When I went outside rain was heavily pouring. Of all the days I don't bring an umbrella. I guess I'll just get hypothermia.

"Wait, Jimin." I felt someone tugging at  the end of my sleeve. "You shouldn't go out there like that. Here, take my umbrella." I turned to see Taehyung standing there handing his umbrella over to me. 

"Stupid, then you'll get wet." I scoffed. "You shouldn't care. You hate me after all. You told me yesterday." He was right. Why should I care? 

"I never said I hate you. I just don't like you. I wouldn't want you to catch a cold. A school role model can't dare miss a day of school." I joked. 

"Do you not like me because I'm popular or is it something else?" He suddenly asked. 

"I don't know why I don't like you. You just get on my nerves. You're also annoying because you always talk to me. Your smile looks like a box which is the weirdest thing ever. You're the most oblivious person I know and somehow everyone worships you."

"I can see through your facade. You're not perfect at all, but hurt and suffering. You're broken but no one can notice. You say 'everything is fine' though you ask yourself everyday if you can keep up this act. You want to be yourself, but are afraid of the outcome. Not everyone will approve. Your reputation and education is so important that you lose sight of yourself. You feel nothing anymore, you're just a shell of emptiness. Thousands of people surround you, they praise and respect you, but they're still just strangers that don't matter."

Taehyung's eyes widened. "How did you know?" I hung my head. "I went through the exact same thing once. I guess I don't like you because you remind me of myself." Did I just say that aloud, to him of all people? 

I cleared my throat and looked into the distance. I could feel the awkward tension in the air. "Just take the umbrella, I'll be fine." I turned around and shoved my hands in my pockets as the cold rain contact with my skin. 

Taehyung's POV

The moment I heard Jimin say those words my heart beat rapidly. He found all of that out just by observing me. Why do I find that extremely attractive? In that moment, I've never wanted to kiss someone so badly.

"Jimin!" I ran over to him and put the umbrella over the both of us. "I'm not letting you catch a cold. Let me walk you home." I said. "I'd rather you didn't." Jimin wouldn't face me at all today. It was driving me insane.

"Come on-" Just then a car passed us. Crossing over a huge puddle soaking us as the water ricocheted off of the tires. Jimin's beautiful face was covered with muddy water. 

"Oh no! Come over to my place; it's pretty close. You can clean yourself there." Jimin didn't object and followed me to my house. 

...

I unlocked the door to my house. I could tell Jimin was shivering, though he was trying to hide it. I grabbed him a towel and wrapped it around him. He then sneezed so soft and adorably I died a little inside. He blushed as I gazed at him.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "I just sneezed. It's not like I'm about to die." He rolled his eyes. I love it when he's sassy like this. "There's a shower upstairs down the hallway. First door to the right. Here's some clothes." I gave him a stack of clothes. "Taehyung, I really don't have to take a shower. I'll just wait here until the storm passes." He mentioned.

"I insist. I don't want you to get sick staying in wet clothes like that. The storm won't pass until a few hours. Please, just take the clothes." I reasoned. He accepted them and went upstairs. 

I heard the water upstairs run. Taehyung stop imagining what Jimin looks like naked in the shower. The hot, steamy shower. I hate my brain. Stop thinking dirty thoughts. I used to be such a pure, innocent child.

When Jimin came downstairs he was in one of my old sweaters. It was pretty oversized on him, but he still looked cute.

"Hey, you can sit on the couch and watch whatever you want. I'm going to use the shower now." I ruffled his hair before I went up the steps. I then realized what I'd done and blushed. 

...

I went to check on Jimin. I saw him on the couch watching some TV show. I sat next to him. He seemed pretty tired. "Jimin, if you're tired you can always sleep in my bed. I can sleep on the couch." Jimin didn't answer. I pressed my hand against his forehead lightly.

"Jimin, you're burning up. Come with me." Jimin didn't move. He looked so weak. I scooped him up with my arms and carried him into my bedroom. I placed him into my bed and pulled my sheets over him. He was so beautiful and perfect just laying there. I placed my lips on his forehead. "Sweet dreams Jimin." I whispered.

I got up when I felt Jimin's small hand wrap around my wrist. "Stay with me, please." He said. My heart sank. I nodded and laid next to him. Jimin placed his head on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. I'm sorry, Jimin. I couldn't resist cuddling with you like this.

Jimin's POV

I woke up to a soft breathing next to me. My eyes fluttered open as I saw Taehyung next to me. My heart raced. I got out of bed quickly. Thank god, I still have my clothes on. 

Taehyung stirred and yawned while stretching. He rubbed his eyes as he propped himself up on the bed. He turned his head to me.

"Taehyung, did we..." His face turned a bright red as he grasped my words.   
"N-no, not at all. Nothing happened."   
I sighed in relief. So much happened between him and me in just two days. I feel like I've known him an eternity. 

So many unfortunate thing things are happening to us. The locker room incident, partnering up, fighting over a stupid umbrella, getting sick at his house, sleeping in his bed while I cuddled with him. It's all so crazy. That's when I started laughing. I had never done anything like this with someone. 

"What's wrong?" He smiled. "I feel like you're the most constant appearance in my life. I've only known you for two days and we've been through so much together. This is so weird." I chuckled. 

"I suppose it is. I guess we were just meant to meet. Or get on each other's nerves in your case." He mentioned. 

"You don't always get on my nerves. I'm really glad you looked after me last night, thank you." I grinned. "It's not a problem. I'm glad that you saw through my facade. It was driving me insane to try and be perfect." 

"Why do you try? You're not an asshole like most people I know. I'm sure people would still like you as you are," I wondered. Taehyung's eyes darkened. "It's probably best you don't know. Let's stop talking about this, I can go make some breakfast." He avoided the subject.

What are you hiding Kim Taehyung?


	7. Elapsed Lonliness

Author's note: This chapter is completely based on Jimin's past.

Jimin's POV

Laughter, one of the most precious things in life. It used to happen throughout my life so much. Until one day, it suddenly disappeared. Now all that's left is the memories of what used to be. The regret of knowing I could've changed things.

Rain, it's all I remember of that day. Rows of black clothed people. The soft sobs of eomma. The cold emptiness I felt that day. I dropped my umbrella and ran out of the service. 

The frigid water droplets drenched me as I ran through the streets. I don't know why I was running, maybe I was looking for an answer. The answer for my question, "Why me?" This is all too much for me to handle. Please, someone, anyone save me.

I walked through the park. Tears falling silently. My eyes were so blurry I couldn't see clearly, but I didn't care. Drying them wouldn't do any good. They'd still come back. I sat on a nearby bench, resting my tired out legs.

My mind kept on wandering into the past. The starry night sky, the bright smiles, that sense of comfort I felt. Now this life I have has nothing but sorrow.

"Look out, it's the bad guy! He's going to capture the townspeople if we don't rescue them!" I put my hand on my hip as the other was pointed at the ceiling. 

That was when I was eight. Everyday I'd play pretend and create the most ridiculous stories.

"Stop right there!" I said heroically. The bad guy (a.k.a. my appa) put his hands up in defeat. I climbed up onto his back. "You're under arrest." I told him. 

We would pretend and use our imaginations to make countless scenarios. It was my favorite thing to do with my appa. 

When I was younger, my brother was obsessed with astronomy. He had gotten a telescope for his birthday. I remember the first time the whole family went up on the balcony of our house and saw the clear sky that night.

"See that constellation, it's one of my favorites." Daeshim mentioned to my eomma. I just stared at the stars in awe. Then streams of light went through the sky. "I didn't know there was a meteor shower tonight." Daeshim muttered. "Then I guess we're just lucky." Appa smiled.

"Are you enjoying the stars?" Appa asked. "Yeah, they're so pretty!" I exclaimed. 

"One day you'll shine as bright as one of those stars. When you become successful in your career, you will stand out. Life is tough when you become an adult. You start to lose sight of what's important. You start to doubt yourself and question if everything you're doing in life is worth it. Just know, I'll always be here."

Liar. I'm growing up and absolutely hating myself, but you aren't here to wipe these tears that are constantly falling. I hate you. You didn't have to leave that day. I warned you not to go, but you never listened. Stupid appa. 

A few months later...

I began being a perfectionist. No one loved me anymore at home, so I needed the attention of my classmates. I tried to look skinnier so I began to starve myself. When I ate the slightest amount of food I ended up throwing it up. I hated the way I looked. I especially hated myself. No one can love an ugly person like me.

Everyone loved me. So many people invited me to parties. I got love letters everyday. I was at the top of my class. I was almost perfect, except I didn't feel happy. People smiled at me and treated me like a friend, but nothing filled this void in my heart.

"Hey, honey I'm going to the store. Do you want to come with me?" Eomma peered through my door. My eyes became blurry, I felt light headed. Then everything went black.

...

I woke up in a hospital bed. Tubes were stuck to me. I saw my eomma next to my bed. Her head was nodding off into sleep. I didn't disturb her and propped myself up. I felt so weak.

"Park Jimin?" The doctor asked. "Yes?" I replied. Eomma woke up to the sound of the doctor's voice. "Hello sir." She bowed her head slightly. 

"It has come to my attention that your son is anorexic. Many things could've caused this, though his mental stability might need some help. I have a list of recommendations for psychiatrists." He informed us. 

Eomma just smiled and nodded. I felt so useless to her. Appa just died and all I can do is add more to her stress. I'm in everyone's way, it'd just be better if I left this world. Don't Jimin, you'll cause more grief for eomma. 

I feel like if I end my life or stay alive, I'm still making people suffer. That's why I don't know what to do right now. 

...

I went to a psychiatrist everyday at 4:15. We talked about how messed up I was and she told me how to fix myself. I'd go home and eomma would be extra happy around me and give me special attention. I know she didn't really have time for making me feel good about myself, so I pretended to improve my mentality.

I was always pretending to be someone I wasn't. Even when I'm being myself I have to be happy when I'm not. Appa was right, I'm losing sight of myself. I don't remember the last time I was genuinely smiling. I just wish I could go back to the simpler days.

That night I had the weirdest dream. He reminded me of my appa, but much more straightforward and really weird. 

"Why are you sulking like this? This self pity your having is making me sick. Pick yourself up and go live a life worth living." A boy with the darkest eyes appeared and told me this.

"You have no idea who I am. You have no right to tell me what to do!" I answered salty. "Though you can't blame me for saying the truth." He smirked.

"Well, if you have all the answers, then how can I stop feeling so depressed all of the time?" I asked.

"You have to love yourself. How can you expect to be loved, when you don't even care about yourself? I guarantee you, if you follow my advice one day you'll meet someone who changes your world for the better. You won't feel empty anymore." He said.

"Do you know when that time will come?" I wondered. "Knowing that will just take away all fun of the moment of realizing." 

"What the hell? The moment of realizing what?" The boy intertwined his fingers with mine. "Love, of course." 

My eyes began to open. I stretched my arms out lazily. My mind started wandering to that dream. Loving myself, huh? What a ridiculous idea. Though, it's worth a shot.

From that moment on I stopped caring what others cared about. A lot of people hated my actual cold and awkward personality, so I lost some "friends". Then I became introverted and a freak to the so called "popular" people. All of this was okay, because I did end of being the kind of person I was back then. Happy and carefree. Whoever was in my dream that night made me happier, and I'm so grateful for it.

When eomma told me we were moving to Busan, I had mixed feelings about it. I wanted eomma to move on. Being in a place full of memories only made her stuck in the past, though I wasn't ready to let go. I'd be miles away from my father's memorial. I couldn't visit him when I really needed to.

I was glad I could have a restart at a new school. Everyone at my school knew I was mentally unstable. They'd torment me, beat me until I passed out, and I became an outcast. I was pissed off and very hurt when this first happened, though I realized something; They were just like me.

They were as weak and lost as I was. Everyone needs to take that pain out somewhere, I did on myself. Though they take it out on others who are like them. So I no longer felt the same way about them. I felt pity.

Even though I didn't completely want to leave, I decided not to protest against it. Eomma needs to move on and sort things out in a new place. I don't want to burden her any more than I have.

The day we moved the house we were in didn't seem like home. Everything was empty and plain. The white wall were so white they were blinding. We brought in all the boxes from the moving van and placed the down somewhere on the floor.

Opening all the boxes brought back memories. Some I don't think eomma was ready to handle. I put my hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay eomma, I'm here for you." 

She sniffled. "I just miss him so much. Not only is he not here for me, but also you. He really wanted to see you graduate, have a successful career, fall in love, get married, have kids. Now, he missed all of it."

"No, eomma he's not missing it, you're experiencing it for the both of you." I reassured her.

She grinned softly. "You remind me of him so much. You look exactly like him. He was proud of you. He loved you just the way you were. I'm sorry I didn't notice that you were suffering. I should've been a better mom." 

My expression was somber. I tightly embraced eomma. "It's not your fault. I didn't want to burden you with my problems and I hid them from you. Even so, in the end I still made you worry like this. I'm so sorry." 

She patted my back soothingly. "You're not a burden. You're my everything. It's true I'm stressed, but I moved here so I could connect with you more. This is where I grew up, and I made some very fond memories. Hopefully, you can too."

Tears trickled down my face silently. "I love you eomma." My voice was breaking. "I love you too. I'll always be here to talk, so rely on me sometimes," she advised. I nodded as I buried my face into the crook of her neck. 

I had never felt so close to eomma before. It was nice to know that she was still there for me. It didn't matter if I hated Busan, the school, or the kids in it. All that was important to me was making eomma and appa proud.

Present day...

I followed Taehyung into the kitchen as he made some eggs. I sat at the table near the kitchen as I watched him cook. It was quite entertaining how he was burning the food. Though I'm not any better.

He put the eggs in a bowl with some rice and handed me some chopsticks. I pulled the wooden chopsticks apart and tried some of the mediocre food. 

Taehyung was looking at me waiting for my reaction. "How's the food?" he finally asked. "It's the best burnt food I've ever tasted," I replied. He showed his unusual box smile. I sighed and continued eating.

He took away our dishes and placed them in the sink. "I can wash those," I offered. "No way, you're my guest. Relax," he said.

I walked over to him with an annoyed look. "You let me stay the night, took care of me while I was sick, and made me breakfast. Cleaning the dishes is the least I could do to repay you."

"Jimin come on, I can't let you do that. Just sit down, I'll take care of everything," he insisted. "No Taehyung." 

I put my hand on his without noticing it. I saw a light shade of red dusted across his face. Our eyes met. His eyes were so dark they almost looked black. His brown hair swept across his eyes. His lips were slightly parted and so kissable. Wait, what? Park Jimin, just stop.

Taehyung's slender fingers roamed against my palm. He looked down at our fingers intertwining, then back up at me. "Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" His voice was so low and sexy it sent shivers down my spine. 

Fuck, what is this feeling?

\---------------------------------------------- 

I'm sorry that this chapter update is so late. I was experiencing some writer's block so I thought doing a good "story of the past" would be fun. Sorry I made it mc-hecking depressing. I just wanted to show how much Tae affects Jimin. This story is supposed to show how people should be more observant and considerate to others. A lot of people don't realize the way everyone affects someone even when you're not trying to. I just hope everyone is mindful that words really do matter. I've been in a lot of situations where people don't even notice that what they say has an impact on me. I'm glad that Tae and Jimin have both experienced that in the fanfic and can relate to each other. Thank you for reading and I purple all of you!! 💜


	8. Want

Taehyung's POV

I don't know what was happening between us. I was confused why I held hands with him. I knew he didn't like me, so why am I still feeling this attraction to him? Maybe this is what Jungkook went through when I came over to his house. He knew I didn't like him that way, but he still made a move on me. In moments like these, our minds avoid all rational thought and we perform the stupidest actions.

I gazed up at him again. His eyes widened. We looked at each other for awhile in awe. I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted to move in closer to him and close the gap between us. I wanted to kiss those soft lips of his. I wanted all of him.

Our bodies were moving closer. We were so close I could hear his heartbeat. I could smell the soft scent of vanilla radiating off of him. 

Just then his phone began to ring from his back pocket. Jimin immediately separated us. He cleared his throat and answered his phone.

"Hey eomma." His expression looked guilty. "I'm, sorry for worrying you. I just stayed at a friend's house to wait out the storm yesterday. I accidentally fell asleep and forgot to call you." He sounded really regretful on the phone. Like he might break.

"I understand. I'll be back this afternoon. Goodbye, love you." He then hung up.

"You okay?" I asked. "Yeah. So, um I'm gonna go. Thanks again for letting me stay here," Jimin smiled. 

"You're just gonna go to school alone? I'll walk with you-" "Taehyung, I'm fine. I just really need to go." 

I stopped holding him back and let go. I hung my head. You idiot! You scared him off again. I can't seem to do anything right when it comes to him.

Jimin's POV

I ran out of there in a hurry. I had just processed all of the things that happened that night and right now. He's making me go absolutely crazy. When staring into his eyes I didn't feel disgust, I felt whole for the first time. 

That scares the shit out of me because I don't want to get close to him. I don't want to love him or get hurt. I don't want to put my heart on my sleeve for him. I know how all of this will end. I'll end up in tears. I don't need this, especially after appa died. 

I will never fall in love with Taehyung. I'm sure about that. Boys like him are intoxicatingly perfect and amazing. Corrupt and perfect don't mix.

I went to school and saw Hobi waiting at the school gate for me. "Hey lover boy." I ruffled his hair. 

He grinned widely. "Hey Jiminie!"  
"Anymore dates with Yoongi?" I wondered. "Sadly we didn't have one last night, but I think we are on Saturday. You should come with us," he suggested.

"And be the third wheel? No thanks," I replied. "You wouldn't be the third wheel if you also brought a date." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. I bursted out laughing witnessing his silliness.

"Sorry Hobi, but I think I should leave the tender romance moments of your life up to just you and Yoongi," I told him.

He furrowed his eyebrows in disappointment. "Okay, but if you ever change your mind tell me. I'd be glad to have a double date with you at anytime." I just nodded politely.

Hoseok left for his class, leaving me all alone. As I walked through the halls I overheard a conversation. 

"Jungkook, I'm sorry. I don't want to stop being friends. We've known each other forever. I can't let you go so easily," Taehyung cried. 

"Tae, I just can't be your friend anymore when I'm like this. It's just so hard for me not to love you. I want to be your friend, really, but I can't without still being so attracted to you," Jungkook said.

Taehyung grasped Jungkook's hand. "You're the only one who really knows me. How can I talk to anyone else like I do with you. I need you. Please, don't leave me alone like everyone else has. You're the only one who hasn't given up on me yet."

He sighed at Taehyung. "I'll never give up on you. I just need some time to myself. I'm sure you and your other perfect friends can go hang out. You're popular, so you don't really need me anyway."

"Kookie, you and I both know that isn't true. You're worth more than any of those people," Taehyung mentioned.

"You and I know that it is true. You know, Taehyung you're nothing but a stupid coward. Namjoon even ran away from you. It's not hard to believe why. You're just a fake nobody. Then you show up to school like you've got everything figured out in life. Like you're somehow better than everyone. 

Then you come to me to fix all your problems. I'm tired of being nothing but a minority to you. You say all of your other friends don't matter to you. If that's the case, you must really hate me. I'm tired of all your bullshit. Don't talk to me anymore."

Jungkook walked passed him and went out of the school. Taehyung looked so shocked. Heavy tears trickled down his face. He covered his eyes with his palms and started to softly sob.

I knew I shouldn't get close to him, but I couldn't just leave him there crying by himself. I went up to him. "Taehyung?" I asked. Taehyung wiped his eyes quickly and showed a fake smile to me. "Hey Jimin," he said weakly.

I sighed and embraced him tightly. "Bastard. Only I can hide my feelings, okay?" He nodded into my shoulder. "T-thanks." 

"Why are you thanking me?" I questioned. "You're here for me. It's a nice feeling having someone comforting me like this. My family is away on business trips a lot and my brother is at college. I'm at my house alone most of the time. Jungkook was always there to keep me company, but now he apparently has left me too," Taehyung muttered quietly. 

Somehow Taehyung wasn't completely different from me. He was lonely and pretty lost right now. "Taehyung, I know I'm not your friend, but I'll be here if you're lonely." What the hell Jimin? This whole rush this morning was just to stop something from happening between us. Now you're basically inviting him into your heart.

"Jimin, will you be my friend? I know you don't like me that much, though it would be nice just to have someone," he said.

"Yeah, that's fine. And stop talking like I absolutely hate you. I'm not that mean," I mumbled. "Aw, have I melted the ice around my chimchim's heart?" Taehyung smirked.

"Chimchim? What the hell? Did you just give me a nickname?" I asked. "Yep, and it's mc-hecking adorable. You should be glad to have earned that name." I scoffed at Taehyung.

"Then that means your nickname is for me is alien Tae," I say. "Why am I an alien?" he wondered. "'Cause you're weird. This is karma bitch," I stated.

Taehyung just chuckled. Showing me his box smile. My heart rate seemed to quicken. His unusual smile has seemed to grow on me. 

"Now, alien Tae let's go to class. I'm not looking forward to Mr. Lee yelling at me," I tell him. "Okay, let's go."

Taehyung's POV 

I copied down all the notes on the board and was finishing up the math packet that was handed out. The lunch bell then rang. Jimin looked half asleep and done with everyone. It was kinda adorable.

He got up and turned to me. "I'm just getting some food. I'll be back in a second," he informed me. "I'm hungry too. I'll go with you." I made an excuse to be with him. He rolled his eyes sassily. "Whatever." He shrugged.

I followed him in excitement. He went through the lunch line in the cafeteria. He didn't get an actual meal, just some chips and banana milk. I just got some water. 

"I thought you said you were hungry. You only got water. What kind of lunch is that?" Jimin asked. "I satisfy my hunger with water. Plus, I'm on a diet. None of the stuff here is actually healthy," I mentioned. "Yeah, that's why so many students come here," He said.

Once Jimin finished his so called "lunch" he went to the library. He allowed me to come with him. I like that Jimin is taking care of me like this. I'm surprised that someone isn't dating him already. He's so cute and really cares but seems awkward and distant when you first meet him. I'm pleased he actually became my friend. As the saying goes, "as one door closes another opens". 

"Jiminie-oh hey Tae," Hoseok greeted.  
I wave at him awkwardly. "Hey Hobi." Jimin says as he takes a seat next to him. 

I sit across from Hoseok. He shows us a skeptical glare. Jimin shot him a look. It was like they were having a conversation with their eyes. "So Taehyung, how's your family doing?" Hoseok asked. 

Did he really just ask me that? What a prick. He knows my situation with them. "They're doing fine for the most part. How's Chanyeol?" I ask him a personal question for payback. "Wow, I haven't heard that name in years. I don't know, he moved a few years ago." He brought up nonchalantly. I guess I didn't affect him well. I'm not good at intimidating people. I guess I was naturally born with a soft spot.

"Sorry, that sucks," I said. "How do you two know each other?" Jimin suddenly questioned. 

"We knew each other through Namjoon, Tae's brother. We used to be pretty close." Hoseok told   
Jimin. "That's cool, I guess," he muttered. 

"Jimin where did live before coming here?" Hoseok asked. "Seoul." He answered. "Why did you leave the capital?" He kept on asking Jimin questions. "What is this, 20 questions? Why isn't anyone else getting bombarded with questions?" Jimin got defensive all of a sudden. 

"Jimin, I'm just curious. You moved here just a few days ago. I'm trying to get to know you more." He told him. "I moved here because Seoul is boring. I don't recommend ever visiting there." He was obviously lying.

"Jimin, that was the most stupid cover up I've ever heard. I thought I taught you better." Hoseok sighed. "What are you, my eomma?" Jimin joked.

"Of course I am. You're so reckless you need two eommas." Jimin laughed in response to Hoseok's comment. When Jimin laughed his whole face lighted up. He looked so angelic and in complete euphoria. Seeing him like this made me start to like him even more.

Jimin's POV 

We walked back to class together. "I didn't know you were friends with Hobi," Taehyung mentioned. "Yeah, he's crazy though. I don't think you should befriend him just yet." 

"Hey, why did you move here? I've been to Seoul before and it's not bad there at all," He said. 

"That's because you have a good experience there. I never really did. I got bullied constantly, my brother was getting addicted to drugs, my appa had recently died, and my eomma just needed to just move. It's easier to forget the memories of your past in a new environment. I didn't mind leaving, so I didn't argue. Here I am, the amazing Park Jimin." I did jazz hands sarcastically.

"Jimin..." he furrowed his eyebrows. "Please don't have pity for me. It's been a year since my appa died. Though I've found it easier to handle," I say.

"I wasn't going to pity you. I was going to say that I envy you." He hung his head. My eyes widened. "What the hell? Why are you envious? My life sucks. I went through so much shit before I was here. So don't you dare say you wish we could switch places." I yelled.

"I don't want to switch places. I just wish my father would have died instead of yours." His face face turned grim. He no longer looked like his regular joyful self. 

"Don't say that-" "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry for your loss." He put on a fake smile. In that moment, I was so scared for him. He truly sounded sincere about wishing for his father's death. I just wonder why.

\----------------------------------------------  
This ending was so weird and creepy for me. Btw I just wanted to say I love and respect Jungkook. He was just taking his stress out on Tae, he didn't mean any of it. In real life I love that boy so much, his voice is very angelic. Yes, I did add Chanyeol to the story because he's awesome. Plus, if my sister is reading this you're welcome for adding your bias to my fanfic. Rip this fanfic was so deep I'm not mentally prepared to keep on writing this, but I will because I'm a great person. For the few people who bother to read this, thank you. I hope I have some exo fans reading this. (Lol my bias is D.O. What a pure boy.) I purple all you people!!💜


	9. Festering Fear

Author's note: All of this chapter is about Taehyung's past. It also contains some abuse. You have been warned!!!!

Taehyung's POV 

I used to be happy. I was a regular kid filled with innocence and adventure. I had a best friend and a brother I was close to. Though some things just happen to change. Eventually I learned to accept that. 

When I was just six years old that's when I began to realize that the things I once held so dearly were not what I thought. Things are always going to change. Evolve into something better or worse that we can't seem to stop. No matter how hard we try.

"You're so silly Tae!" Namjoon laughed. "How am I silly? I was just trying to show you a scary face," I fumed. "You look like an alien!" he teased. "You look like an ugly monster," I shot back.

"What? I'm far from ugly. I have rings around you in the looks department," Joonie praised himself. I stuck my tongue out at him in response.

"Boys, come downstairs, there's dinner," Eomma called. "We'll be right there!" Namjoon called back. He helped me off the floor. 

We sat at the table seeing eomma scattering different dishes in the middle of the table. My appa walked in placing his briefcase by the door while taking his shoes off and putting his slippers on. He pecked eomma on the cheek and sat down. 

We gathered around the food bowing our heads and blessing the food. We lifted our heads and pulled our metal chopsticks apart and began to eat some dinner. 

"How was work Si Woo?" Eomma asked appa. "Seo Ah, let's not talk about this right now." Appa ignored eomma and kept on eating. Eomma's expression saddened.

Before we went to bed eomma would always tuck us in. "Good night Taehyung. I'll see you in the morning." She pressed her lips against my forehead. "Will appa also tuck me in?" I asked this every night and every night I'd get the same answer. "I'm sorry, but appa had a long day at work. I'm sure he'll be there to tuck you in tomorrow." I had my hopes up that he might've shown up, but he barely said anything to me most of my childhood.

"You said you'd show up to his concert. He worked so hard and you couldn't bother at least taking 20 minutes from work? You're neglecting your children. You're their appa, they need you as much as they need me. I feel like I've been the only one raising them!" Eomma yelled. 

"Don't tell me I'm not raising them. I'm the one financially supporting this family. Without me, they couldn't even be in school. I'm doing my part just fine. I don't need your criticism about my parenting. You don't know anything. You're not even a decent eomma," he snapped. 

"You don't have the right to say that. I constantly give them my time, attention, and my love to them. They're the reason I wake up in the morning. Yes, I mess up sometimes, but at least I make an effort to be involved in my children's lives. You don't even remember their birthdays." Her voice was breaking.

"Fuck you and your lame ass 'being a good eomma' act. You're not worth anything. I feel bad that a married someone as useless as you. You should be obeying me and not nagging me about our stupid children," he replied.

"How did you become this sick and cruel? What did that job do to you? You disgust me. I should've never married a weak coward like you!" she cried. 

That's when it happened. The moment everything began to change. I saw my appa beating my eomma senseless. There were even pools of blood on the floor. No one knew I witnessed that whole scene, every gory detail. From then on I knew, life was no joyride. Everything happens for a reason.

The yelling didn't ever stop. When it got really bad I would climb into Namjoon's bed. We both hated when they would fight.

By the time I was around twelve I had gotten pretty used to it. Though now eomma wasn't the only one with bruises. Everyone in our family had been victims of his abuse at least once. One day Namjoon was having a long talk with appa. I don't know what they discussed, but all I do know was that Namjoon was never the same again after that moment. 

He stopped playing with me. He began joining sports teams and hanging out with friends. He always got As. He was the school role model. He ignored me and focused only on his image and schoolwork. 

Eomma no longer had bruises. She got also got a job, one were she traveled a lot but it paid really well. Appa would be my only supervisor. I was scared of him, so I stayed in my room when he was the only one here. 

One day I caught Hoseok and Namjoon making out. I had accidentally walked in on them, thinking that Namjoon was at his soccer practice. My eyes widened. I wasn't against what was happening. I was just scared and imagined if appa was the one to walk into his room instead.

"Tae I can explain." Namjoon separated from him. "I don't care that you're gay. I just don't want you doing this here. What if appa walked in instead? If you don't care about what happens to yourself, think of eomma. She's finally doing better and even has a job. If he found out things would go back to how they used to be," I told him. 

"I know, I just-" he hung his head. "It's okay, just don't do this here again." I walked away.

I felt like I was always being so careful in my own house. One slip-up and everything would go straight to hell. I was so scared about appa, that I began to avoid everyone's emotions including my own.

Over summer vacation appa had planned a trip for the family. We would go to a beach resort somewhere in America. Eomma only went to please appa, and of course Namjoon and I had to be dragged along as well. 

I didn't want to be there at all. This happy family time was only going to hold out for so long. I knew at any minute appa would go off on us. Namjoon noticed my anxiety and reassured me.

"Look, we're in public. Even if he does get frustrated he wouldn't take it out on us with people around. We'll be out all day. He'll get over it by the time we get back to our hotel," Namjoon mentioned.

I believed what he said and stopped letting the thought ruin this time with us together. I wish I didn't, because I wasn't prepared for the future.

Everything went fine that day. We actually made happy memories. Though the yelling and hitting started back up again once we were back in our rooms. The walls were so thin I could hear every cry for help. I was done with this. I hated my appa. I wish he would just die.

I left my room discreetly in the middle of the night. The other residents were at one of the late night events. They were all dressed like they were at a luau. Everyone danced around the fire in celebration.

I made my way to the area to hopefully cool down and enjoy my time here. I'm sure people were curious that a thirteen-year-old was at a luau by himself. I just ignored their piercing glares.

A woman came up to me with a wide grin. She sat next to me and drank from her red solo cup. She then set the cup down and turned to me. "Have you heard of the legend of the beach here?" She asked me. My English wasn't the best. The classes I had were very brief but I had enough knowledge to understand most of what she said.

"No, what is the legend?" I questioned in a thick accent. 

"They say that a group of kids were banished here to repent for their sins. At the time, there was nothing but trees and wildlife here. Every kid told their dark pasts to each other. They met a crazy merchant there who said, 'If you jump off that cliff and dive into the water, you'll be cleansed of your sins.' Listening to the merchant they jumped off, hoping to be freed from the guilt their past mistakes.

"They swam to shore after the dive. They all changed after that, so much it scared people. One of them said they even saw visions of their past while jumping. Some people who believe in that legend actually come here to cleanse themselves and jump off that cliff. It's the big tourist attraction here," she told me.

"Do you believe it?" I wondered. "I do. I once jumped off and felt like I had finally awakened,." she answered.

"Thank you for telling me that story." I bowed as I got up. She looked puzzled at what I was doing. I chuckled awkwardly and walked away from the luau.

I hiked up the towering cliff. It wasn't hard since there were stairs built into it. Once I made it up to the top I extended my hands. The strong wind rushed over me. I wasn't trying to harm myself. I just needed to feel something other than this festering fear inside me.

Plus, people hadn't died from this, so I'm sure it was fine. Though the water might be colder than it would be in the daytime, it was pretty humid out right now. 

I braced myself and jumped into the air. "Taehyung!" I heard Namjoon call out from the side of the cliff. I felt the rush of air surrounding me. I felt weightless, like nothing in life could ruin the feeling of ultimate euphoria.

I plunged into the water and felt a heavy impact. My whole body ached. This was the feeling I didn't expect. Though I felt guilty, that I enjoyed the burning pain in my skin.

I don't remember much after that. I woke up in a hospital bed. Namjoon looked at me with glossy eyes. "What the hell were you thinking jumping like that? You scared the shit out of me," he said with a shaky voice.

"I didn't want to worry you. I just heard a legend that if you jumped things would get better. I didn't know I would be put in the hospital because of it," I say.

Namjoon still looked mad, but he sighed and hugged me. "Don't you dare do anything like that again. Be glad that eomma and appa aren't here. They'd ground you for weeks," Namjoon spoke into my ear.

"I'm really sorry for worrying you Joonie. I love you," I said. 

"I love you too. Don't ever leave me. In this family we only have each other. Without you I couldn't have stayed sane all those years. In order to stop appa from hurting eomma I agreed to be the exact son he wanted. Now I have to be a perfectionist and pretend to be straight. I didn't mean to avoid you like that, I just had to stay focused. 

"Though acting like this is killing me. I feel like if I mess up one second appa will end us. I can no longer be myself. I'm glad you don't hate me. We're in this hell together," Namjoon muttered. "I know," I replied.

I had a few scars after diving, but it reminded me that I could maybe experience more than this terror. I just wish that day will come soon.

4 years later...

We all sat at the dinner table. There was a tense awkward silence. That was until Namjoon cleared his throat, indicating he needed to say something.

"Appa, eomma, I have some important news to share with you." They looked up from their plates and fixated their eyes on him. 

"So, as you know that tomorrow I'm moving out and going to college. I'll really miss you all, especially my favorite little brother. Though I thought it would be wise to get a heavy weight off my chest. A secret I've been hiding for five years. I'm...gay," Namjoon managed to confess.

Appa's eyes widened. I've never seen him this angered. Eomma sensed the danger and whispered one simple word to Namjoon, "Run." We both had tears in our eyes. Appa got up with a psychotic look. Namjoon took my hand and we ran as fast as our legs could take us.

"Namjoon, is eomma going to die?" I sobbed as we slowed down. "I think she'll be fine. Appa might be abusive, but he wouldn't go that far," he says.

"Where do we go?" I asked. "Follow me. We're going over to Hobi's." I nodded and followed him.

In the morning we went back. Namjoon stayed outside as I entered the house. Eomma was on the ground and bleeding pretty badly. "Eomma, are you okay?" I rushed over to her side.

"Where's appa? I swear to god I'll kill him. He's toyed with us for too long." I ranted. Eomma put her hand over mine. "Don't. He's at work right now. Give him some time, he needs to cool down," she advised.

Namjoon crept inside. "Eomma!" He gasped and went over to her. She caressed his face. "Namjoon, I love you so much. I'm glad that you finally told me. I'm proud of you. Appa might not approve, but I'll never stop loving my son," she told him.

Tears fell from Namjoon's eyes. "He doesn't have the right to be called our appa. You were the only one who was actually there for us. I love you." 

"We need to take you to the hospital." I said. "No, they'll ask me how I got these bruises. Just get me the first aid kit." She requested. We didn't protest and did what she told us.

Eomma got better after a while. Though Namjoon left for college, leaving me alone with our fight against appa. 

"Taehyung, you will be Namjoon's replacement. He failed to meet the required expectations and became gay. You are my last hope. If you aren't absolutely perfect in school and with your peers I will kill your eomma. Do you understand me?" he stated sternly.

I didn't know why he wanted me to be perfect. Me being perfect or not doesn't affect him, unless he's not telling me something. "Yes, sir." I glued my eyes to the floor, not daring to meet my eyes with his. "And if you ever think about being involved with a boy I won't hesitate to kill you either." He threatened. I nodded my head, too petrified to open my mouth and develop words.

I never had a choice in this whole "perfect" matter. This is what you call a life or death moment. So it doesn't matter if I am in love with Park Jimin. I can never be with him. That's why I wish my appa would die and in burn in hell. He sickens me so much that every night I pray he'll never make it home that day. 

Sometimes the reality is dark, but it's the truth. Everything changes and my appa did for the worse. I've learned to accept that. Though I will never grieve for him, or say that I love him because the reality is, I've never cared about him.  
\----------------------------------------------  
Well this was deep and pretty depressing. I really hate his appa. We don't stan abusive parents. Yet, sadly we have abusive people in this world. I feel bad for both Namjoon and Tae. They just need a hug. I wish I was in a group hug with all of the BTS members. That will never happen, but it never hurts to wish for things. At least I don't think it does. I hope everyone who read this enjoyed it. I purple all you people!!!!💜


	10. Safe

Jimin's POV 

"Do you wanna get some ice cream?" Taehyung asked after our last class ended. He showed me his pouting face which I could apparently give into easily.

"Fine, but I can't stay out with you too late. My eomma worries about me too much," I told him. He nodded in response and his face immediately lit up at my agreement.

He grabbed his bag and quickened his pace to catch up with me while I was walking. "For a guy in track, you're a really slow walker," I mentioned. "Track is for running, which I'm great at. Though when I walk I like to slow down for once," he said.

"Whatever works best for you," I muttered. "Chimchim?" He was using that ridiculous nickname again. "What is it?" I decided to ignore my annoyance. "Do you ever feel like you're surrounded by many people who support you, yet you still feel vulnerable and afraid?" 

"No, I've felt lonely, but never afraid. Maybe I was worried that I didn't know what to do next after my appa's death, but I would never said I was actually afraid of it. Plus, my eomma has really helped me," I opened up more to him than anyone in my whole life. That was weird.

"I feel like I'm scared all the time. Jungkook was right, I'm a coward who runs away from his problems. I shouldn't have pretended everything was okay. If I spoke up it wouldn't have gone this far." Tae was sputtering out of his mouth. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but if you keep beating yourself up like this it's just gonna bring you more trouble," I spoke.

"Jimin I.... never mind." I felt like Taehyung was always watching what he said very carefully. He wasn't only like this with me, but everyone, even Jungkook it seems. Though whatever he was talking about, whatever has him so scared he feels vulnerable all the time must be something really serious.

I sighed and put my arm around Taehyung. He flinched for a second, but then relaxed his shoulders. "Tense much?" I teased. He chuckled awkwardly as we finally made it to the ice cream shop.

We sat down after we ordered. I fiddled with my hands and he put his palm on the back of his neck. This silence between us was deafening.

"So..." I trailed off as I was attempting to make conversation. "Well this is pretty awkward," Taehyung mentioned. "You're just making this situation more awkward by addressing it." 

"I suppose I am," he mumbled. "Why did Jungkook suddenly leave you?" Out of all the things to bring up, of course that came out of my mouth. "Who knows? Well, I guess I do know. I was a bad friend to him. I hadn't realized his emotions and was only thinking about my own. I don't blame him for leaving. I've been all over the place lately," he told me.

"I think you have it backwards. He didn't realize what you were going through. I'm sure if he did, he wouldn't have left you like that. 

"Taehyung, you don't notice that some people genuinely care about you. If you're too afraid to speak up about your problems they'll never get solved. Why are you always so afraid? What's stopping you from being yourself? 

"Look, everyone is going to love you whether you're perfect or not. Though I'm telling you all of this because, life isn't worth living if you aren't happy. With yourself or others. If you just stay hidden behind that facade of yours, you will never be able to actually experience the good things in life," I advised.

Taehyung's face was directly aimed at the table. He was avoiding eye contact. He sniffled and wiped his tears quickly with the ends of his sleeves. He looked up at me with his face bright red. 

"Jimin, I love how you always put things in perspective. I'm glad you told me those things. If I wasn't in this situation, I would have done exactly what you told me. Though the reality is, that's not something I can do. You see, I really am trapped. I can't tell you why I pretend to hide behind a mask, or what I'm afraid of. Though maybe, one day you'd understand. Some things are just meant to be hidden to protect others," Taehyung said.

"Hey, it was just advice. There's no need to be sorry," I grinned. "Thank you so much for listening. I feel like, for the first time, I can finally be myself around someone. I might have facade in front of everyone else, but not even for a second have I ever put on an act in front of you. That makes you very special," Taehyung winked.

"Is that so? Well, I am so glad to be the first to witness the great alien Tae," I told him. "Hey, can I have your number?" Tae asked. "Why?" I wondered. "So I can text you late in the night and annoy you," he smirked. "Fine, just don't try and flirt with me," I said. "No promises." I shook my head in disappointment. "Tsk, tsk. What am I going to do with you?" 

Taehyung's face was light red as he turned his head away from me. "I-I didn't mean it like that!" I stuttered. "Here's your ice cream, sir." The waitress came up to us with a tray of ice cream. I bowed my head as she laid the dishes on the table. "Thank you Miss." 

As Taehyung reached for his ice cream, some got on his jacket. I tried to contain my laughter as I saw him struggling to get it off him. "You're such a klutz," I said as I handed him more napkins. 

"Why don't you just take your jacket off? It would be easier than trying to clean it off," I mentioned. "No, I'd rather not. It's pretty cold in here," he brought up. "Don't worry, I'll lend you my jacket," I offered. "No really, I'm okay." He put his hand over mine to stop me. I stopped pushing and let him be.

I walked Taehyung to his house. I wanted him to not see my house. I was poor, I wasn't ashamed of that. I just didn't want Taehyung to know all about me just yet. I don't want him to know I'm in love with acting, or that I have an old record player because I'm obsessed with music in the twentieth century, that I speak fluent English, I'm a sci fi nerd. If he knows this stuff about me, we'll be closer. 

Though I'm not ready to be attached to anyone yet, especially not him. He has a way of making me someone ten times better than I actually am. I love myself when I'm with him. 

What am I thinking? This is the exact opposite mindset I should have. As much I want to, I can't deny the fact that...we seem to have some kind of chemistry. 

"Bye chimchim!" Tae waved goodbye. "Bye alien Tae!" I said as I walked away. "Text me!" Tae yelled down the street. "I will!" I screamed back. I earned some strange stares, but I didn't care. I just wanted to ignore the beating sensation in my heart.

Taehyung's POV 

I sighed in relief as I made contact with my soft bed. I smiled widely as I recounted the events that happened with Jimin today. He makes me so happy. Even when he knows that I'm not perfect he still accepts me. 

I pulled out my phone immediately to text him.

Alien Tae👽  
Hey chimchim!💜

Chimchim💞  
What's with the Purple Heart?

Oh shit! I sent a heart emoji. What do I say? "Sorry it was meant for someone else"? No, then he'll ask me if I'm dating someone. Plus, I hate lying. 

Alien Tae👽  
I just thought it would add a touch to your nickname. 

Chimchim💞  
Why purple though?

Alien Tae👽  
Because I like purple. It's a cool color, don't discriminate.

Chimchim💞  
I wasn't discriminating. You're crazy. 

Alien Tae👽  
I take pride in that.

Chimchim💞  
I know, that's what makes you so weird.

Alien Tae👽  
Hey, if it weren't for me you'd be bored out of your mind today.

Chimchim💞  
I never said you being weird was a bad thing. I find it entertaining.

Alien Tae👽  
I'm honored. Well, I should probably get going, I've got dreaded studying to do. Goodbye!💜

Chimchim💞  
Bye!

Why am I so overwhelmed with joy whenever something has to do with Jimin? I don't feel like studying, but I'm forcing myself to. I guess when I am with Jimin I lose sight of who I am doing all of this for. 

I promised eomma I would protect her. Even though Jimin makes me happy, we can't always have what we want. I have to think of the reality because it's what keeps me sane. It separates my dreams from my fate. 

I am destined to take over my father's place at his job when he retires. I will marry a woman who has a good reputation and who is beautiful. We'll have kids and the cycle will go on. Except I will never hurt anyone physically. I will never become an alcoholic like him. I will never treat my wife like an object, because, unlike him I'm not going to let my selfishness and doubt ruin my life.

A few weeks later...

Alien Tae👽  
Chimchim, can you come over today and spend the night? I heard that there was going to be a thunderstorm tonight, so try and get here early if you can.

Chimchim💞  
I can come over. Don't forget to make popcorn and play a movie filled with comedy.

Alien Tae👽  
I won't. I'll see you soon! Bye chimchim!💜

Chimchim💞  
Bye Tae!💜

I set up everything for when Jimin came over. Every day we spent together we got closer. I hated to admit it, but I liked Jimin. More than a friend. Though I wasn't going to tell him about my feelings. I was going to hide them, like I do best.

I heard the doorbell ring and rushed to the door. "Hey chimchim!" Jimin smiled at me so completely adorable that my face started to heat up. "It's so humid outside. It is definitely going to rain tonight," Jimin said. "Well, it's a good thing we've got each other and a stack of movies to watch instead being stuck at home bored to death," I mentioned.

"Well, I did have a stack of books to read so..." I punched Jimin in the shoulder. "You're so mean," I pouted. Jimin ruffled my hair softly and showed my a grin. "I'm sorry Tae Tae," he sounded sincere enough. I couldn't stay upset at that adorable face forever, so I couldn't help but forgive him.

We sat on the couch eating popcorn while watching comedies. During the middle of one of them heavy rain started to pour. Jimin didn't seem to care and ignored it. Though when loud burst of thunder awoke, I jumped out of my seat. My face was red with embarrassment as Jimin looked at me.

I cleared my throat. "Uh, sorry." Another blast radiated throughout the earth. I flinched and covered my ears. Flashes of lightning peeked through the windows. Jimin paused the movie and wrapped his arms around me. Loud noises always made me scared. It reminded me of eomma and appa yelling at each other. The loud screams of eomma when she would be beat senseless.

My body started to tremble. Jimin's grip around me got tighter. That's when I started to cry. All my emotions from the past seemed to flow out of me at this direct moment. 

"Shh... it's all gonna be okay. You can talk to me." Jimin cradled me. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to keep lying to myself. I'm not okay. I  don't want to live like this," I sobbed.

"Then, why are you? You're freer than you think," Jimin said. "I'm not, this house we're in is nothing but a prison. Even when I become an adult, there's no way I can escape this. I'm afraid all the time because of everything in this house. Every memory decorated on the walls, every time I pass Namjoon's room, the chill I feel when I hear those distant screams of help. I hate this house and all of the memories I had when growing up. I wish he'd die, then all these problems would be solved. Though life is never that easy." 

"Tae, what is going on with you and your family?" Jimin questioned. "You don't want to know about my family Jimin. It's best if you pretend that I am perfect as well as my family." My voice was still shaky. 

"Tae, know that you're safe with me. If you ever feel like this, don't hesitate to call me. I swear, I'll come running to you. So wipe your tears away. I promise, you never walk alone. I'll always be there waiting for you," he guaranteed. And that's the moment I realized I was in love with Park Jimin.

\----------------------------------------------  
Well this was a very heartfelt chapter, I think. If anyone was confused about their age or what year in high school they were in, it was originally said in the first chapter they were freshman, but I changed it. I found it easy to just have them already in their senior year. I edited the chapters if anyone noticed. Sorry my writing is all over the place. I will have some sope and namjin chapters coming soon!!!! 

In this chapter all they did was cuddle, I swear. I wanted to show in this chapter that even though they have very different lives that they are still close and can relate. It also showed how dedicated Jimin was to Tae to make him feel better. I honestly love Jimin so much. He's my pure ray of sunshine. I also love Tae very much and all the other members of BTS. Enough about how much I love BTS. Bye, I purple all you people!💜


	11. Forgiveness

Taehyung's POV 

I woke up in the morning, having a raging headache. My eyes were still red from last night. Jimin was still up in my room. He sleeps so much. He even went to sleep before me when I was clearly more exhausted than him since I was crying all night. I didn't want to disturb him, so I came down here. 

I looked at the clock on the wall. It was only 8:30. I was about to make breakfast when I heard the doorbell ring. 

I made my way to the door, opening it to reveal..."Jungkook?" My heart wasn't ready for this surprise. My throat began to feel heavy. My eyes stung from the almost developed tears.

"Hyung, I-" I quickly embraced him. I was hurt and depressed because of all the problems he caused me. Right now that didn't matter. I just wanted my best friend back.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me tightly. "I was so misunderstanding towards you. I only cared what about what I felt and I ignored you. I am so incredibly sorry. Hyung, I missed you so much." His voice was so comforting and sincere.

"I forgive you. You know I could never hate you. Just never leave me again, okay?" Kookie nodded in response.

We sat at the dining room table together, catching up on what's been happening lately. "How's your family? They've been traveling for work about a month now. How are you dealing with that?" Kookie asked. 

"I don't know. They never seem to talk to me on over the phone anymore. I miss my eomma, but I couldn't be happier my appa isn't here," I mentioned.

"What do you have against him? He's always so nice to me," he muttered. Sometimes Jungkook was cute when he didn't know things, now him being naive is making me annoyed.

"Everything's wrong with him. Trust me, you don't know my appa well enough if you haven't heard him yell at least once. I'm just so done with dealing with him. Now, Namjoon is off in college living up his life with his boyfriend. He told me we were in this together, the battle against our appa, but then he abandoned me. He only called me once this year to scold me about my future. Some brother he is," I fumed.

"Now appa is putting all this responsibility on me with making me 'perfect'. I'm just so mad at Namjoon," I said.

"Don't be too hard on him hyung. Your appa freaked out when he came out. He's probably just scared to come back home," he advised.

"Yeah, you're right. Though I can't help but still be a little mad," I admitted. "It's only natural. Anyway, I should get going. My eomma had this weird idea of a family movie day or something. It's pretty stupid," he mentioned. 

"No way is it stupid. Your eomma comes up with the best family events, especially that cooking class you took together," I brought up old memories. 

He shuddered at the thought of the cooking class. "Dammit Kim Taehyung, I thought I told you never to bring that up again! I can still smell the thick smoke," he joked. We both chuckled at our recollection.

"Bye hyung!" Kookie waved. "Bye Kookie!" I grinned as he walked away. It was nice to talk to him like that again.

"Good morning." I heard a dazed voice ring through my ears. I was startled by his voice and jumped. "Geez, you're so skittish," he teased me. "Oh, good morning Jimin." I felt guilty that I forgot he was here.

I gazed at Jimin from the doorway. His now blonde hair was all messy and swept across his face. His clothes were wrinkled and sloppy. Though he looked like he had just got into a fight and got pretty roughed up, he still had that attractive glow to him. How can he still look so beautiful right after getting up?

I was so tempted to kiss him right there on the spot. So much it made my heart ache. Jimin turned and gazed into my eyes with curiosity. "What are you doing Taehyung?" he asked me. "Jimin, I..." I couldn't develop words to tell him everything that's on my mind.

I put my hand on his. Jimin didn't react. He stared directly into my eyes. "What are you waiting for?" he wondered. "I can't be gay. I want you, but my appa..." "What if he wasn't in the picture right now. What do you want?" 

"I want you to be mine. I don't want you to be with anyone else, but me," I confessed. "Stupid. Don't you ever worry about what your appa or anyone else thinks about us. I told you, you're safe with me, I keep my word," Jimin passionately stated.

"I finally figured out why you're so afraid of him." He held my wrist out and pulled up my long sleeves. My forearm was strung with almost healed  bruises. I hid my face, ashamed of how weak I was.

"That bastard fucking abuses you! What did he say to make you be like this?" he questioned. Jimin was pissed and it was terrifying. "He said he'd kill my eomma," I mumbled. His eyes widened. He looked so angry at first, but now his eyes were furrowed in disbelief. He wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry Taehyung. I'll report him to the police for you. We could get your eomma help," he suggested.

"I've already tried. Though appa finds out about everything. He's smarter than he appears," I told him. "Tae, I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner. I could've helped you," Jimin said. 

"Jimin, you already have. You stayed up with me all night. You cuddled with me, wiped away my tears, made me smile. I couldn't ask for more," I whispered into his ear. 

"Tae, I swear I'll help you get out of this mess. 'Cause one day, I'd like to see you just being yourself. That would truly make me happy," he says.

"I'm glad you want to help me, but I don't want to see you get hurt because of me. It's much safer and peaceful if you don't get involved in my family's problems," I warned him.

"I don't care. I'm not scared, as long as I can protect you," he said. "Thank you, so much my chimchim." I pecked him on the cheek.

Jimin's face heated up. I had just realized what I had done. I instantly backed away. "S-sorry." I put my hand at the back of my neck in embarrassment. 

"Don't be. I kinda...like it," his voice was soft. His words made my heart sink. I just wanted him up against me. Wait, no, that sounds sexual. I mean, maybe I do want to have some sexual interactions with him, but right now I'm really just aiming for a kiss...or two. 

Who am I kidding? I want a panting, hot, sweaty make out. Though knowing how oblivious and awkward Jimin is, I'd probably make the first move. Which I am really not fond of doing, but I don't want to wait my whole life for this kiss. 

If I do kiss him, I could get so attracted to him even more than I already am. It would be harder for me to separate from him when reality comes rushing in. If I don't have him, I have uncontrollable lust, and if I have him, then if my appa finds out I'm screwed. 

I'll be probably be sent to some church to cleanse myself. I'll end up in tears that I won't have Jimin. Either way I'll end up depressed, stressed, or in some way going to a church. I have a feeling that appa would still send me to church to get rid of my horniness.

So I did what my father said was, "an act of sin". Which is weird for him to say because we aren't even Christian. He's probably just finding another way to make me pissed off at him. 

"You know, I missed." I try to say as confident and casually as I can. Jimin smirked. I think he was about start laughing at my attempt of a pick-up line. I cut him off by pressing my lips up against his.

Jimin's POV 

"You know, I missed," Taehyung tried sound cool. I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by that, but he seemed to struggle saying it, which I found entertaining. Then I suddenly felt warmth on my lips.

I was shocked, and enjoying it. I know I shouldn't be, but he's so seductive with those lips of his. It was a gentle, but passionate kiss. At least I think it was. 

As he pulled away from me my heart beat like crazy. My face was so red that I could feel the heat radiating off my face. I was speechless when Taehyung looked straight into my eyes. 

"You're blushing a lot Jimin, do need some water?" he asked. Him knowing that I'm blushing makes me blush even more. I clear my throat. "I'm not blushing, you're just delusional," I made an excuse. 

He poured me a glass of water anyway. He looked at me with his pouty face. "Chimchim, how did you think of our, um...kiss?" How was he so confident like that, while I'm dying of my raging heartbeat? We only kissed for a few seconds. Just imagine what I'd be like if it was a full on tongue make-out. That would probably be my very end.

"It was...uh, really nice," I muttered quietly. "Really?"  Damn Taehyung and his great ears! "I thought you didn't like me more than a friend." Wow, he really is dense and stupid. I know I didn't want to get close with him, but at this moment I realized I liked him before I met him. It sounds weird and illogical, but that's the only way I can phrase it.

"Don't laugh when I say this, because you know how awkward I get when I'm in different situations than what I'm used to. No one has ever kissed me before, so I've never had to deal with something like this. To be honest, this whole thing between us terrifies me. I don't want to get close to anyone, though I can't help that I...kinda really like you. I have liked you since the that day we both got drenched in the rain, it just took me a while to admit it," I confessed.

His whole face lit up. He leaned in closer to me. "Chimchim, you're so cute!" He kissed me softly. My face heated up again. 

"Wow, you blush so easily. Am I really that attractive?" he praised himself. "Pffff, no way," I laughed. It was an improvement than being overly flustered.

"I'm so offended! How could you say that about my god-like features?" He gasped while dramatically putting his hand over his chest like his heart ached. I grinned at his silliness. "You're welcome," I joked.

I love when we laughed together like this. It just made my feelings grow even more for him. Once we settled down, he gazed at me with that earnest look he always shows me. My grin faded as I looked back up at him. I wonder if his heart is quickening like mine right now. Hopefully it is.

Taehyung's POV 

Jimin left after a while. I can't believe he actually reciprocates my feelings! I want to text him. Though he just left, would I seem too desperate if instantly messaged him? No, it's my chimchim, he wouldn't judge me, I don't think. If I can't text him, I want to tell someone else about what happened.

I went through my contacts. I could always call Jungkook. No, he's with his family right now. Plus, I would feel bad if I'd make him upset, especially since I just rejected his feelings for me. 

I scrolled further down my contacts. I saw Namjoon appear at my screen. I haven't talked to him in weeks. I bet he's forgotten all about me while he was at college. Though, I still feel tempted to call. Maybe I should tell him about Jimin or just yell at him.

I pressed his name and it immediately started dialing Joonie's number. "Hello?" An unfamiliar voice answered. "Who is this?" I questioned. "Sorry, this is Seokjin. Namjoon just wasn't here at the moment. Give me a second, and I'll hand the phone over to him," he told me. "Joonie, it's your hyung!" he yelled. "Get your lazy ass over here!" They had a mini conversation before Namjoon actually spoke through the line.

 

"Tae? What's wrong? You never call me," he says. "Nothing is wrong. I'm completely happy, something great just happened," I sound overly enthused.

"Oh really? Tell me about it. Did my little brother finally lose his virginity?" he wondered. "What the hell? No, I didn't. Even if I did there's no way I'd tell my brother about it. Though something physical did happen," I mumbled. 

"Wait, did you give your fist blow job?" he kept on implying sexual things. "No, Namjoon. Nothing I'm about to tell you has to do with anything sexual," I informed him. 

"Okay," he sounded disappointed. Wow, he's so dirty these days. "I had my first kiss with the most beautiful person in the world," I sighed. "That means you kissed Jin?" 

"Awww, thanks Joonie." I could tell they were doing disgusting cutesy stuff. "No I wasn't talking about Jin, I was talking about my chimchim," I interrupted them. "Chimchim? You already gave that person a couple nickname. This is going deeper than I expected. How long have you known each other?" he asked. 

"Almost two months now. I'll send you a picture of him..." I just realized that I told Namjoon that Jimin was a guy! "He? Tae, since when were you gay? Why did you never tell me? Wait, does appa know? Are you out on the streets starving to death?" Namjoon was overreacting. 

"No, I'm fine. Appa has been traveling for his work for weeks, so has eomma. I've had the whole house to myself," I told him. "Now that you tell me that there's no way I can't think you did more with that boy than kiss." 

I roll my eyes. "I swear we haven't done anything but kiss. Maybe we did cuddle, but that's not the point. I really like him and I just confessed to him and he said he liked me back! I kissed him like two times, it was amazing. No, there was no tongue if you were going to ask." 

"Then how is it an actual kiss?" he wondered. "Joonie, you're such a hypocrite! You didn't kiss me with tongue until a month after we were dating," Jin scolded him. "Yeah, but Tae didn't need to know that. I wanted to take things slow with you because you're so awesome it overwhelms me," he started flirting again. 

"Guys!" I shouted. "Sorry. By the way you still need to send that pick of...chimchim?" he mentioned. "Oh, you mean Jimin. Yeah, I'll text you a picture."

Alien Tae👽

 

 

"Oh my gosh!!! How could you not fuck this boy or at least have tongue in that kiss?" Namjoon screamed into the phone.

"It was his first kiss, also mine. I didn't want to force anything on him. Plus, he's much more to me than sex," I told him.

"You know, that sounds to me like you're in love. If you're willing to do that for him, treat him like the greatest thing on earth, that sounds like you love him. It's not only that but, if you start to make excuses to see him, if your heart goes crazy when you're near him, if you're willing to put him before everything else, that means it's love. 

"Look, I was scared to admit that I was in love with Jin. Not because I didn't want to love him or anything, it's just that feeling of commitment. Jimin might not always love you or not love you back at all. He might leave you or cheat. Your head comes up with these crazy ideas of all the outcomes when you start doubting yourself. Once you do that, it's harder to confess. 

"Though Jimin already kissed you, and said he liked you back. It's just matter of time when he realizes he's in love with you too. It all just takes time. Just, remember if he doesn't love you back, that's his problem for missing out on all the great things about you," he advised. 

"Wow, you just turned dirty to wise in seconds. Thanks, by the way. I have a feeling Jimin is already in love me, he's just in denial. He has trust issues. Though he kissed me back even when he said he didn't want to get close to anyone. So, I have hope," I reassured him. 

"I should go, it's getting late. Goodnight Tae," he said. "Goodnight Joonie!" I hung up. 

I'm in love with Jimin, huh? It's no surprise to me. 

I suddenly heard the door unlock. I turned to see eomma and appa standing there with their travel bags. "We're home V! I missed you so much!" Eomma went over to me and hugged me tightly. I looked over to appa. He gave me this intimidating stare. I felt the anger build into my fist. 

"Taehyung, I want to speak to you," appa told me. 

This was it. The talk I was dreading when he was going to come back home. He was going to take all his anger out on me, instead of eomma. That was one part of our deal.  
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Well this chapter is pretty intense. Hopefully everyone liked the kiss scene, or at least the confession. I know the kiss wasn't sexy enough unlike the namjin chapter, but they've known each other longer. Tae and Jimin have only been together for around two months. I hate to rush things, especially things like this. Though I promise that soon I will have some sort of sexy relation with Vmin when they're in high school. I think maybe after one or two more chapters of Vmin before I'll have sope. I feel like they've disappeared from the story, and I love them very much, so I feel bad. I'll give them time to be the main characters for at least two or three chapters. I'm sorry, but technically it is a Vmin fanfic. I love sope, but sadly this story isn't all about them. Anyways, bye my strange peoples! I purple you!!!💜


	12. Whole Again

Jimin's POV 

"Appa, don't go. It's not worth it, just forget about it. It's probably already destroyed out there," I pleaded for him to stay.

"Jimin, that notebook means everything to you. It has all of your thoughts and feelings in it. You can't just let go of all of that, at least not if you look for it first," he told me.

"Appa, please! I'll be fine with out it." Appa shook his head. "I can't give up that easily," he was being stubborn.

"Appa..." I could feel his presence fading more and more, until there was no love from him left in my heart. How can I go on like this? No one ever listens to me. I told him, though he risked his life for that stupid book of mine! 

I got the the notebook back after his funeral. The police only found that item intact in the wreckage. All of this trouble for a silly notebook filled with my stories. They weren't even good. Stupid, I hate you appa.

I woke up in a sweat. I felt like I just relived that whole terrible experience. I felt like crying, but I think that most of my tears have run out. 

Taehyung. That's the first name that popped into my head when I am upset. I looked at the time on my phone. There was a loud thunderstorm going on, so I wanted to comfort him. It was also an excuse to just hear his voice. It wasn't that late, so I decided to dial his number.

"Chimchim..." he had a raspy and worn out voice. "Is everything okay? Do you need me to come over?" I asked. "No, I'm fine, I just am a bit tired right now." He had a loud, life draining cough. 

"Tae? I'll come over to your house, just give me twenty minutes," I said. "Jimin, whatever you do, promise me you won't come over to my house. I'm doing this to keep you safe. Don't hang out with me for a few days, okay?" 

My heart sank. Why was I so disappointed when he told me that? Why had I put so much hope and trust in him? I don't went to end up in tears again. I'm infuriated that everyone eventually leaves me.

"What do you mean? I can't do that, you know that!" I yelled through the phone. Tae didn't answer back. That's when I noticed he hung up on me. That bastard.

...

Taehyung hadn't showed up at school for a few days. I texted him constantly but there was never a reply. How could he just fall off the face of the earth?

I pulled Jungkook aside after class. "What is going on with Taehyung? You're close to him, did he speak to you at all lately? I'm really worried about him," I wondered. 

"I don't know. No one has heard from him in days. Sometimes, he just tends to vanish like this. It isn't the first time he's hidden himself away. He never tells me why, though he does something like this every year. I think most people have just let the matter go. I have too. I'm sure he's fine, he always is when he comes back," he reassured me.

I bowed, appreciating his comfort. Though I'm still very skeptical about this whole situation. Jungkook said this happens before every single year. What is Taehyung hiding?

That's when it hit me. He sounded so weak that day, I should've known. I feel so dense and stupid. He told me not to see him, because he was protecting me, like always. His appa must have returned home. I know he told me not to go to his house, but I need to see if he's okay.

I walked to his house. Once I got there I texted Tae I was here, hopefully he'd see it. I rung the doorbell and saw a middle age woman open the door. I quickly bowed to her. "Hello mam, I'm Jimin, one of Taehyung's classmates. I was wondering if I could talk to him," I told her. I tried to sound as polite as I could to give her a good impression of me. Wait, why do I care?

"Oh, I understand. Come on in, I just made some cookies," she greeted me warmly. I grinned and entered her house. It looked much cleaner since she was here instead of just Tae. 

"Go ahead and make yourself at home. I just need to let V know you're here," she said. V? I assumed it was nickname and didn't dwell on it too much.

I heard them have a distant conversation upstairs. After a while, the woman came back downstairs. "He's in his room, you can go see him now," she mentioned. I bowed at her again and went up the steps.

I went into Tae's room. I had no trouble finding where things were because I came here so often. I knocked on his door. I opened the door peering my head into his room. 

Tae sat there on his bed. Looking out the window in a daze. He didn't notice my presence until I cleared my throat, indicating I was standing right next to him. He turned his gaze to me. He smiled slightly. 

I sat on the end of his bed. After a long silence between us, Tae broke it. "I thought I told you not to come here. It isn't safe right now. Be glad that my appa is working late tonight or he would have killed you."

I wasn't guilty one bit for not listening to him, in fact I smiled. "I couldn't leave you alone like this, you know that. I was so worried and pissed at you for telling me not to see you. I know why you didn't come to school. He hurt you, didn't he? 

"Look, you confessed to me and I told you that I was terrified. Not because I hated you, it was because I was afraid you were eventually going to leave me. I have trust issues because my appa died. He left one night looking for a notebook I had dropped on the sidewalk one day. It was a really important book, it was filled with paragraphs of very heartfelt expressions that I wrote.

"I was disappointed when I first lost my book, but then my appa died trying to get it for me. In a matter of seconds that item had lost all meaning to me. Now when I look at it all I see is guilt and regret. I hate that feeling, so I threw it away. 

"I had first found out the news he was dead at one of my drama practices. I had told him to forget about that stupid notebook before I went to practice. Once he dropped me off at the drama center, he told me that he wasn't going to give up on it. That it was too important to forget about. 

"So when I was at drama, he had found it and was driving back to me. Though that's when his car had been hit while commuting on a bridge. His car fell into the water, and he had drowned before anyone could find help," my voice was now breaking.

"Jimin, I-" "I was so hurt and I blamed his death on myself. I hated myself so much that I used to starve myself, which eventually got so serious I went to a hospital. I got better, but I still felt empty. My heart had no one to love, so I just felt, incomplete. 

"I had felt this way for a long time now, and I wanted it to end. Then I met you, and you made me happy, so much that the void in my heart disappeared completely. So when you weren't at school and you didn't message me back, I had felt empty again. I thought you had hated me. I just need you so much that it hurts. So, don't you dare for a second think about leaving me," I spoke.

Tae's eyes widened. I didn't understand why until I felt hot tears trailing down my face. I wiped them away quickly and ignored his concerned stare. 

"Jimin, I'm so completely obsessed with you I couldn't possibly leave you. I just didn't want you to get hurt. I'm just really bad at expressing my emotions," he brought up.

"Yeah, I can see that," I joked. Taehyung didn't laugh, but only had guilt written all over his face. I got closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. He winced in pain at our contact. 

I lifted up his shirt to reveal a series of dark bruises. I gently ran my hand up against his stomach. "Taehyung, I'm so sorry," I was in shock. He showed me a sweet smile. "Don't be, you never caused this. Don't worry, this is nothing," he insured. 

I felt tears develop in my eyes. Tae looked at me with a soft gaze. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and quietly sobbed onto his shoulder. He caressed the back of my head soothingly as I let out everything. I felt so warm in his embrace. I felt like I never wanted to leave his arms. 

That's when I realized, I was insanely in love with Kim Taehyung. Though I wasn't going to tell him that just yet. Right now, I just enjoyed his warmth. 

"Chimchim, I swear, I'll never leave you. Even if we get separated one day, we'll find each other again, I guarantee you," he promised. I shook my head at him in disbelief. "That was so cheesy. You're such a hopeless romantic," I teased him.

"A hopeless romantic that is crazy for you," he pressed his lips against my cheek. "You missed again," I told him. "Oh really? Then I guess I'll have to correct that mistake." I grinned at his silliness.

He kissed me deeply. He bit my lower lip. I opened my mouth slightly for his tongue to enter. I don't know what had gotten over me, but I was practically begging to make out with him. I didn't want to at first, but now all I want is him against me. I don't know how one talk could change my whole outlook on him doing this to me.

Taehyung's tongue entered my mouth. I let him explore instead of trying to dominate him. I clearly knew I was bottom, I wasn't going to deny it. 

Tae went on top of me and pinned me against his bed. My heart beat rapidly. I could fell his tongue reaching to the roof of my mouth. I pulled away from him, gasping for air. I was blushing so much right now.

Our eyes met. "Jimin, we can stop if you want," Tae told me. Why did I find it so attractive he was thinking of only me in this lustful situation? I grinned and shook my head. "I don't want to stop, because it's you." 

Tae nodded and continued our passionate make out. He separated his lips from mine and started to kiss my jawline. I could hear his low, husky breaths radiating throughout my ears. This sent a chill down my spine making my whole body shudder. 

He traveled down my jawline to my neck. He started sucking lightly on my skin, leaving marks on my skin. I let out a soft moan. Once Tae heard this he looked into my eyes. I blushed in embarrassment. "Chimchim, you're so cute when you moan like that, don't be ashamed," he reassured me. I felt a lot better when he told me this, and stopped being as tense as I was.

Once Taehyung's lips made it to my collar bone, he slipped his hand under my shirt. His hand roamed my abs gently. 

I felt like I was enjoying this a little too much. I love how gentle and considerate Tae was being with me right now. No one had been this sensitive with me. I don't know why, but right now that was a major turn on for me.

Taehyung lifted himself off me and panted heavily. That seemed to be my very end. "Jimin, I think we should stop for now. I want to take things slow, because you're worth it. Plus, my eomma is downstairs. I don't want her to know we were doing sexual stuff up here," he said.

I completely understood, but I still felt somewhat disappointed. If his eomma wasn't here would we have sex? Was I ready for sex? I wonder what Taehyung would sound like when he was moaning. I bet it would be sexy as hell. If I keep thinking about things like this, I might get a boner, which I don't want to show Tae...yet.

We both laid next to each other in awe. This was the best feeling I had ever had. Imagine what sex must be like. This was only a make out which made me completely overwhelmed, in a good way. 

"Jimin, I think..." He hesitated to say what was on his mind. He intertwined our fingers. "...you're the most amazing person in this world. I would love it if one day, we could fall in love."

"You see, Taehyung, I think that's already happened." The words seemed to just flow out of my mouth without my control. "I think so too. I was just afraid that you weren't in love with me," he said. 

"Do you think I let just anyone make out with me? It has to be someone I trust to do that to me. Someone like you Taehyung," I spoke earnestly.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that." He placed his head onto my chest. I wrapped my arm around him and I ran my hands through his soft hair. This moment was so peaceful and amazing, I wished it never ended. Though all happy moments come to an end eventually.

"Jimin, you should probably go home now. My appa is coming home soon. I don't want you getting hurt," he told me. "Tae, I will, but only if you come over to my house tomorrow. My eomma won't be home for a few hours, and my brother will be working, so I have the whole house to myself," I winked.

He chuckled softly. "Okay, I will. Just go, quickly," he couldn't stop smiling at me. "I'll see you tomorrow, my alien Tae," I whispered into his ear. "Bye, my chimchim," he whispered back.

Taehyung's POV

I sat in my bed, in complete awe how Jimin was so incredibly unreal. He was what you'd call a "soulmate". I was head over heels for him, and from what I could tell he was too. 

I heard voices downstairs. More voices than I'm used to hearing. I walked down the steps, trying to see what was going on.

I saw Namjoon and his boyfriend, Seokjin. Eomma was conversing with them. "Namjoon? What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"Appa told me he had to go on another business trip, so he wouldn't be here tonight. So, I invited them over since I heard they were in town," eomma answered for him.

I nodded. If she told me sooner I wouldn't have rushed Jimin like that. "It's a shame your friend left early. He could've had dinner with us," she muttered.

"Friend?" Namjoon raised his eyebrows in interest. "Yeah, his name was Jimin I think," eomma replied. Joonie smirked and Jin had an apologetic gaze towards me. "He had to go anyway. He had made plans with his family," I lied.

Namjoon looked eager to know the details, but I ignored him. There's no way I'd speak of my feelings for Jimin in front of eomma. Not because I was ashamed or anything, I just didn't want to worry eomma.

We sat at the table and had a nice conversation. We all got along and Jin grew on me. I can see why Namjoon likes him so much. If only family dinners were always like this.

Eomma and Jin were looking at old photo albums filled with Namjoon's baby pictures. Joonie protested and begged eomma not to show them, but she's a stubborn woman. So while they were looking at that Namjoon and I were cleaning up the kitchen.

"Tae, did you tell him? That you're in love with him?" he asked. "In a way. I asked him if he ever saw us falling in love with each other and he said, 'I think that's already happened.' It honestly killed me inside when he said that, but in a good way," I answered.

"You're so deeply in love, that there's no way you can get out of it," he sighed.   
"That's not particularly a bad thing. I'm glad it's him. I just made out with him, and it was the best thing in my life. I even gave him a hickey," I told him.

Namjoon gasped. "Really? What happened to that innocent Taehyung I used to know? You're growing up so fast, next year you'll be in college," Joonie sounded so sad.

"I'm not that innocent, hyung. You're just oblivious," I teased. "Yeah, you're right." Namjoon's grin faded and he got serious all of a sudden.

"Taehyung, love is a powerful emotion. So much you tend to lose sight of things and people. You focus only on the one you love, because they're everything to you. Then, all the people you left behind have resented you.

"If you hadn't already realized, I'm talking about myself. I came here tonight to apologize for neglecting you. I should've noticed that you needed me. I was just so scared of disappointing you I cut off our ties before you could to me. I'm really sorry Tae," he apologized.

I smiled at him. "I forgive you. I never was disappointed in you, I just was scared you'd get hurt by appa. So I yelled at you that day at Christmas so you wouldn't be harmed. I called you, but you never answered, so I gave up," I replied.

"I just thought you were going to yell at me, so I was immature and didn't answer," he mentioned. "You should probably work on that," I advised. "Yeah," he muttered.

Suddenly my phone chimed. My mood immediately brightened when I saw they were from my chimchim. 

Chimchim💞  
I miss you! Tomorrow we should go to the movies together and then we could cuddle. How does that sound?

Alien Tae👽  
That sounds great. I'm looking forward to it. See you tomorrow. I love you!!!💜

Wait, did I just send "I love you"? Oh no! We said that kind of to each other today but not directly spoken. We didn't exchange I love you to each other.

Chimchim💞   
I love you too!💜

Jimin's POV 

I'm clearly not thinking straight, but I don't care. I love Taehyung, I wasn't going to deny that any longer.

\----------------------------------------------  
Sorry for the really long chapter, I just couldn't find a good stopping point. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I probably rushed the make out scene and "I love you" process, but I don't care. At least I didn't make them have sex yet. That would be going a bit too far. Anyways, bye people. I purple you!!!💜


	13. Let Go

Namjoon's POV 

Taehyung's face lit up all of a sudden. Red dusted on his face as soon as he looked at his phone. It must be Jimin. He put away his phone and turned to eomma.

"Eomma, I'm just gonna go for a walk. I'll be back soon," he told her. "Okay, be safe. Oh, and while you're out, can you drop by the store and get some groceries for me? The shopping list in on the fridge," she replied to Tae.

"I will, I'll be back in a while. Don't have too much fun without me," he joked. "We won't," eomma smiled.

Before Tae left I grasped his wrist. "You're going to see him, aren't you," I assumed. "I just have to, I'm sorry for leaving you so soon. I just feel like I can't live another second if I don't seem him soon," he genuinely spoke.

I let go of his wrist. "Be safe out there with him. Love is as beautiful as it is dangerous," I warned him. He nodded. "I'll be fine, because it's my chimchim. We will never leave each other, because if you think about it, no one ever really does. Maybe physically, but not mentally. His impact on me will forever affect how I am and live," he answered me.

He has grown up and realized things I have never even come close to accept. I was proud of him and if this Jimin was all he's cracked up to be, I'm really looking forward to meeting the man who managed to steal my brother's secluded heart. 

It was hard to see him this close with someone. I was glad that he finally had found someone, I just didn't want to see him get hurt. We had been so close, I practically raised him most of his life. So I might be an overprotective dad to him. 

Though, I let him go to Jimin. The best you can do for a child, is to let them experience things for themselves and let them learn of all the heartache of this world.

"What are you waiting for? Go to Jimin this instant, it's an order from your favorite hyung," I told him. Taehyung grinned widely and quickly left the house. I'm happy for him, so much.

I walked over to Jin and eomma. I sat next to Jin, happy to see his smiling face. I'm so incredibly in love with this man. I smiled at him sweetly. Jin glanced at me with the purest smile I've ever seen. I intertwined our fingers.

Seo Ah's (Tae's eomma) POV

I had gotten home a few days ago after my business trip. I missed V so much and I was extremely happy when I saw him again. Little did I know, in the time I was gone he'd changed so much. 

He had invited someone over other than Jungkook. He's popular at school, but never invites anyone but Jungkook over to our house. I started to think something was going on between them. Once that boy, Jimin, had come knocking on my door I knew something was up. 

I couldn't help but over hear some of their conversation. "Chimchim, I swear, I'll never leave you. Even if we get separated one day, we'll find each other again, I guarantee you," he promised. "That was so cheesy. You're such a hopeless romantic," Jimin teased him. "A hopeless romantic that is crazy for you."

When I overheard this, I knew that Taehyung's heart had been stolen by him. He was growing up, wasn't he? I had just missed a month of his life. That was one of my greatest regrets, not giving him a happy childhood. They constantly lived in fear and always kept their guard up. I was never strong enough to stop him from ruining our lives, so I just dealt with his behavior. I wished I did something about it sooner, because now I'm trapped.

I'm glad I got to see him fall in love. If he gets hurt, I'll be his shoulder to cry on. I'd like to be here for him. If Si Woo dare lays one finger on him again, I'll report him too the police. I have the bruises to prove it. 

Life has been the cruelest to me, but I have the two greatest miracles on earth. My Joonie and V. So I am willing to endure all this pain, for them. 

Taehyung's POV

I texted Jimin I'd be at his house soon. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, it seemed impossible. Since Jimin sent me his address I had no trouble finding his house. I quickly knocked at the door. I could hear muffled voices coming from the inside as I waited. Eventually I saw Jimin open the door.

His bright, innocent smile radiated. He looked at me with purest expression. He seems so fragile right now. When I see him happy like this, it makes me never want to hurt him. I want him to have that smile throughout his life forever. So I will try to make him the happiest man on this earth.

"Bye eomma!" he waved. "Bye Jimin, be safe," she warned. Jimin just rolled his eyes and nodded as he closed the door. "So, you said you wanted to see me-" I instantly pressed my lips against his passionately. 

Jimin's body became less tense and he wrapped his arms around my neck. We slowly pulled away from each other. Jimin smiled sweetly. "Where did that come from?" he asked in awe.

I tightly embraced him. "I couldn't wait to see you until tomorrow. I'm just so glad you're here in front of me, that I had to kiss you. It's practically impossible for me not to," I told him. 

"You're so crazy. That's one of the things I love about you," he sighed. "Whenever you say the word love, I go insane, in a good way," I replied. "Well then, I love you," he said casually. My heart sank. "Geez, Jimin, it's like you want me to die of blushing today." I put my hands over my face to shield my blushing from him.

"This is payback for when you first kissed me. You even poured me a glass of water just to tease me. You really seem to know my weak spots. Luckily for you, I know yours too," he plastered a devilish smirk on his face.

"I didn't intentionally pour that water to make you embarrassed! I was just genuinely concerned for you. I had never seen anyone's face that red. Who knows, maybe you could've gotten a nosebleed over me because I'm that handsome," I bragged.

"Don't flatter yourself, I was just blushing to make you feel better about the kiss," he shot back. "That's the worse defense I've ever heard. You're so cute chimchim!" I said. Jimin sighed. "I'm only cute for you," he muttered. 

I grinned at his words. He really did love me. He used to despise me when we first met. Things have changed so much over time. I felt chimchim intertwining our fingers. I was startled by his sudden action. Though I found it adorable he was trying so hard. 

We walked through the neighborhood and went to the grocery store, holding hands and talking about the weirdest things together. I loved being with Jimin like this, it was so comforting.

We went into the store and started doing weird teenage stuff, which others would call "disruptive". Though when I was with Jimin, those piercing, ice cold glares filled with judgment, didn't matter. I was myself with Jimin, no matter how hard I tried not to be to protect my "image". 

Once we got all the groceries we needed, we headed out the door. "I think everyone there hated us," Jimin laughed. "Maybe, but it was fun being absolutely ridiculous. Plus we're teenagers, we aren't to be mature and have it together yet. It's practically what people should expect from us," I stated.

"Well we are supposed to be mature, to you now, pick colleges and stuff," he said. What he said got me thinking of the future, which I know I'll have no control over. My joyful expression faded, but then I faked a smile so Jimin wouldn't be concerned. 

"Can we not talk about the future? I just want to focus on the present," I told him. "I swear you have Peter Pan syndrome. You're gonna have to cure it someday," he scolded me. Why does he always have to be so right all the time?

"Do I have to? My future is gonna be terrible," I muttered. "Your future won't be terrible. Growing up sucks, but we all have to accept it eventually. 

"One day, you'll experience something amazing when you're an adult. You might get a raise at your job, get married, have kids. Most of your favorite moments in life are when you're older. You discover new feelings, you change your interests, you could travel. The future has opportunities no one could even imagine themselves doing. Yes, change is terrifying sometimes, but things will evolve whether we want them to or not. It's a fact of life," he spoke wisely.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Jimin, all I can see in my future is you. I have no idea what I want in life, except for you. I know the reality is that we'll probably separate after we graduate from high school. Though I can't help but constantly see you in my life. I know change very well, so I don't know why I'm so hopeful when we're together. I know reality never works in our favor, but I have a feeling we could work." I looked at Jimin's mixed expression.

"I'm sorry, I must sound so crazy right now. Just forget about it," I said. "No, it doesn't sound crazy. I get what you mean, I kinda feel it too. Though, we can't predict the future. So I can't tell you I'll be with you in your future. Though, we can still see each other again even if we have completely different lives," he answered.

"Where would we meet? We don't have a hangout other than my house," I mentioned. "Oh, I guessed we don't. Then we'll just change our hangout spot. How about...the beach?" he suggested. "Beach? The beach is only a few miles away, we could easily walk, but it's really cold out since it's winter," I thought aloud. 

"Tae, we don't actually have to swim at the beach. We could always just lay in the sand or something. Plus, it's even better that it's winter because no one would be there to bother us. You know how introverted I am," he told me.

"I know, and it's a good thing because I get you all to myself," I smiled at him sweetly. He sighed. "Of course you say that. Why is this not surprising?"

"'Cause you know me well," I say. "I really do," his voice trailed off. He went completely silent. I glued my eyes towards him, making sure he was okay.

"I think," Jimin's head raised up to the sky, "that we will be each other's futures. Maybe it just won't be directly after high school. I have feeling, that in the future we'll reunite and we'd experience days like these together again. Everything just takes time. Promise me, you won't move on with someone else, at least not until at least four years, after we get out of college," he requested.

"I promise. I could wait even longer than four years, I could wait my whole life if I had to," I said honestly. "You always say the right things. Incredibly sappy, adorable yet disgusting comments. Though they just seem to make me fall for you more." He caressed my face gently before cupping my cheeks and pressing his lips upon my forehead.

My face heated up. Jimin pulled away and I looked up at him, showing I was dying a bit inside. Our eyes were gazing at each other. My heart raced as I began to realize how much I was in love with him. He has such a weird, cold, distant, nerdy personality. Every time I learned something new about him, it makes my attraction to him stronger.

Jimin was sexy, like too much to handle. So you try not to focus on his physical features. I was attracted to his looks when I first met him, but he's not just that, he is everything to me in this life. I'm the kind of person who thinks that personalities enhance appearance.

What I mean by all of this is that I'm majorly turned on right now by Jimin and if I don't do something quick I'm going to have a boner. I need to stop looking in these beautiful eyes of his and get the groceries to my house! Though his eyes are so deep brown, sparkling like stars, and so completely captivating.

Once Jimin cleared his throat I came back to reality. I blushed in embarrassment that he noticed me zoning out while observing his beautiful face. "Let's get back to my house. My eomma must be worried I haven't gotten back yet," I softly muttered.

Jimin nodded awkwardly and we continued to walk to my house. Hopefully Namjoon wouldn't be there to embarrass me in front of him. That's exactly what I need after getting all flustered back there. I thought I was the dominant one. I guess Jimin has to surpass me sometimes.

I unlocked the front door with the key I brought along in my pocket. I opened the door, feeling the warm heated air basking over me. Jimin and I set the bags on the island in the kitchen.

I forgot to check if there was any cars in front of my house, because I saw Namjoon and Jin still in the living room. I turned to Jimin and put my finger on my lips, indicating for him not to dare make a sound. I slowly tiptoed across the room, waving my hand for Jimin to follow behind me.

"Tae, you know I can see you. You're terrible at being discreet," Namjoon spotted us. Jimin chuckled quietly beside me. "He's right." I rolled my eyes at his comment.

"Is that the famous Jimin?" Jin asked.  
Namjoon smirked. Oh great, now here comes the wave of teasing. I needed to get him away from them quickly. "It is, but we're really busy so he can't talk right now. Eomma the groceries are on the table. Have a good night!" Jimin looked confused, but ignored what was happening and bowed politely. "Nice to meet you-" I grabbed his wrist and dragged him upstairs with me before anyone else could say something. 

I pushed Jimin into my room and closed the door. I flopped on my bed in exhaustion. Jimin laid next to me on my bed. "Do you you want to pick up where we left off earlier?" Jimin wondered. "I'd rather cuddle. 'Cause I'm too tired to be top. Plus you're the best at hugs, it's a fact," I stated.

"I could always be top..." he muttered in suggestion. I laughed at his neediness. "Aw, is my chimchim horny?"

"If that's the case, we could either make out, I could give you a hand job, or I could suck your dick. You know each option sounds great to me, except for you being top," I joked.

"Hey, I'd be a great top! By the way, I think I'll take the 'you sucking my dick' option," he answered. My eyes widened. I was just joking, did he really just agree for me to do that to him? I wouldn't mind, but still I don't know if I'm 100% ready.

"I think I'll just stick with the cuddles," I told him. He sighed in disappointment. "Great, now I had my hopes up and my dick is shouting your name." He put his hand on his heart, stealing my dramatic reaction. 

I sat up and ruffled Jimin's hair playfully. "I'm sorry, maybe some other time. I've just got so good at spooning that I can't resist showing off my new skills. Then you'll be begging for cuddles rather than blow jobs," I bragged.

Jimin pouted, but then began to grin. He allowed me to wrap my arms around him snugly. "I love you Park Jimin," I whispered into his ear. He stayed silent for a while until answering me back. "No, I love you Kim Taehyung."

I don't know why, but hot tears were developing in my eyes. I was probably so extremely euphoric that I just had to cry. I buried my face in Jimin's chest. "I'm so happy to hear you say that," my muffled voice rang. 

"I know." That was all Jimin said. I fell asleep in his arms that night, but when I awoke he was nowhere to be found. I don't know why I was so disappointed. He probably just left to go home because of his mom, or he was done with me. 

I pick up my phone in anticipation, hoping to see a text from my chimchim. Sure enough, I did.

Chimchim💞  
Look out your window. 

I got up from my bed and gazed out of my window. Below on the street revealed Jimin standing there smiling while holding flowers in his hands.

Chimchim💞  
Did you really think I could just leave you like this? I promised I would be a part of your future, you know how I always keep my word.

I shook my head at him through the window. I ran downstairs, quickly trying to get to Jimin. I passed my eomma not even acknowledging her. I opened the door and deeply embraced Jimin. "I thought you were tired of me," I said.

"Me, tired of you? That's humanly impossible. You're so entertaining and expressive, that every day with you is like a rollercoaster. I never know what feeling comes next. Though so far, I've been enjoying this ride so much. We never went on an official date, so today is our special day." He took my hand and kissed it lightly. 

"You're so cute when you try hard like this chimchim. Though, before we go on our fantastic date, I kinda have to get dressed," I mentioned awkwardly.

"Oh, right. Go ahead, I'll wait out here for you," he told me. "If you get cold out here, just come inside my house. My eomma would be happy to see you," I say. "Thanks, but I think I'll stick out here. I am severely awkward when it comes to seeing adults."

"Okay, just don't get too lonely out here without me," I smirked. "I won't...that much," he muttered. I took the bouquet of flowers from him to put them in my house. I grinned at his pureness. I can't believe I'm going on a date with Jimin. It's so perfect, it seems surreal.

Jimin's POV 

I will give him a day he won't forget. 'Cause I know our fate, even though I don't want to face the reality. We will never meet again after high school. I feel bad that I got his hopes up, and how I got mine up to. I hope he moves on from me and won't wait forever like he said, but knowing Tae, he probably still will.

I love him, so much that I can't be happy unless I see his face. I've already gotten so attached, that it's scaring me. Though when it comes to Tae, I can never say no. 

Appa, I feel like this is the person who finally answered my call for help. He has saved me. That's why, he's everything to me. I'll show him that today.  
___________________________  
I hope you enjoyed reading the chapter! Sorry for the slow update. Bye, I purple you!!!!💜


	14. My Answer

Jimin's POV 

Last night

I slipped out of Tae's room. I walked down the stairs quietly. When I lifted my head I saw his brother there. He gave me a stern look. I wasn't extremely intimidated by him, though I wouldn't say he was approachable right now.

"We need to talk," he said bluntly. He sat on the couch in the living room, and motioned for me to sit also. I took a seat and prepared myself for an earful. Though, he only asked one small question.

"Why do you like Taehyung?" I wasn't ready for this. I sat there in silence, looking like a complete idiot. I cleared my throat after a while, finally having an answer. 

"There is no exact reason, it's just Tae. Everything about him is so...unexpected and unique." Hopefully my answer met his qualifications.

He crossed his arms sassily. "Look, Tae has some serious issues. He blames everything on himself and tries to protect everyone. Though, when he does this he slowly starts to break inside. He once even did something so ridiculous just to try and heal himself. That only hurt him physically instead of mentally. He has scars, a lot of them. Some are clearly visible and others are hidden. The hidden ones are the dangerous scars that people don't want to deal with and back away. 

"When someone does that to him, he hides his true self, afraid of getting to close to someone and reopening his wounds. He has finally opened his heart up to someone again, if you leave him he will just become more isolated. So please, please don't hurt him. If you do, I won't hesitate to beat you up."

Of course I just had to receive the protective brother speech. I already knew all of Tae's issues. Maybe not all of them, but enough to know that he was just like me. We need each other to survive, because we're afraid of the same thing, someone leaving us.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt him. Well, at least not intentionally. I love Taehyung with everything I have, there's no way some silly little scars can scare me off. I know more about Tae than you think. I was the first to see through his whole perfect act. Has he never actually told you how we met?" I wondered.

"No, he doesn't want to talk about how you guys met. The only thing he told me was how you kissed. I was the first one he told about it apparently. He always keeps you too himself. I think he's scared of what our appa would do if anyone found out about you two. In all honesty, I think if he found out about you he'd kill you. He doesn't fool around, he beats people with a grin on his face. He's a psychopath. I'm going to get Tae out of this mess, so don't go trying to save the day for him. Our family is nothing you want to mess with," he warned.

"I know, Tae told me the exact same thing," I said. "He told you about our appa? Wow, he doesn't even talk to Jungkook about his real demeanor. I wonder what makes you so special," he scoffed. 

My eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "I don't know, why are you so judgmental? You have no idea who I am, yet you're being a dick to me right now," I stated. "It's because you're being a smart ass," he told me. "Well, I can't disagree with you there. I'm a complete smart ass. So much I can tell you're jealous that I'm stealing your brother. It's okay, I'd be jealous to if I saw a hottie like myself with my brother." I wanted to tease the hell out of him.

"You're nothing compared to my boyfriend. There's no way I'd be jealous of an angsty, self absorbed, prick that is so completely ugly it makes my skin crawl," he replied. I was surprised by his comeback. You'd think since he's the older brother who picks on his little brother would know never to react to teasing.

"That was a nice comeback. You should know, that this angsty, self absorbed, ugly prick is actually getting pretty close to losing his virginity to your brother upstairs. Though, I guess Tae likes guys who resemble aspects of his brother," I shot back.

His expression at that moment was priceless. I started to laugh uncontrollably. After I calmed down I put my hand on his shoulder. "You looked so shocked, chill I was just joking. I was surprised you reacted like you did. I'm sorry if I pissed you off, I just like to joke around with people. It entertains me." Namjoon brushed my hand off of him. 

"I honestly don't understand why Tae likes you," he sighed. "I honestly don't know either. I guess I'm just lucky," I got up and went to the door. "Have a nice night." I told him as I opened the door and walked home.

I couldn't sleep that night. I found myself going insane if I didn't have Tae beside me. I needed to make tomorrow amazing when we were going to hang out. I started planning the whole date.

Present

Tae got out of his house in a white t-shirt with a black leather jacket over it and black, ripped skinny jeans with red converse. He was so sexy it was making me go crazy. I grasped his hand tightly.

"Follow me," I simply said. Tae nodded and trailed behind me. "Where are we going?" he asked. "It's a surprise," I told him.

I covered Taehyung's eyes a block before we actually arrived at our date. "Ready?" I questioned as we were at our destination. "I don't know. Should I be scared?" he wondered. "No, it's nothing dangerous. Well at least not yet," I answered. "Jimin, you're just making me more nervous," he whined. 

"I would not make our first date dangerous, okay? Now I'm uncovering your eyes." I slowly removed my hands. I could feel the shock radiating off of him. 

I revealed a set up meal on the beach, our new hang out. Tae turned to me with pure excitement. "You really did this all for me?" he asked. "You're sure as hell I did," I replied. 

Tae kissed me as a thank you. God, I couldn't get enough of his lips. Though of course we had to pull away eventually. Tae went over to the area were I set up our meal. He sat down quickly, ready to get into his food.

We ate our meal and started conversing. After we finished, I laid my head on Tae's chest. "I have some news," I told him. Tae hummed in response.

"I'm going to be in Seoul all next week. My family and I are visiting some relatives and we were all going to my appa's memorial. It's going to be officially two years since my appa's death three days from now. I don't want to go back to Seoul, it'll make me depressed again. I can't bare to spend a week without you either," I pouted. 

"You can always call me you know. I'll miss you, but I think it's really important for you to go to his memorial. You have to tell him about us," he said.

I smiled at his cute suggestion. "I will, don't worry. Though I can't call you, because if I did I wouldn't be able to hang up and I be even more needy for you," I replied.

"Then I guess I'll just be lonely for all of next week. Or I could just hang out with Jungkook instead," he muttered. Of course I lose him to Jungkook. What if something happens between them when I'm gone? Uh, why am I forced to see my annoying relatives obsessed with politics and criticizing the LGBTQ community?

"Can you not see Jungkook?" I questioned. "What wrong with hanging out with him? He's my best friend," he stated. His eyes widened after a while finally understanding. "You're jealous, aren't you?" he smirked. "Of course I am. He's clearly in love you. It's so easy to tell. Everyone at school thinks you're dating. You seriously are dense," I sighed.

"Okay, maybe he used to have a crush on me, but I don't like him like that. I love him in a completely platonic way. I would never cheat on you," he answered. "I know you wouldn't, but you guys are so close. He could steal you from me in seconds," I mumbled. 

"Jimin, I'm forever yours, don't forget that. I love you Jimin, not Jungkook," he spoke sincerely. "Okay, I believe you now. Though when I come back, I swear to god if you're with Jungkook I'm stealing you for myself immediately," I guaranteed.

"Fine, I'll go to you the moment you come back, I promise," he told me. "I'll hold you to that."

Taehyung's POV 

When Jimin left I was so bored. I just realized how much time we spent with each other. Now there's nothing to occupy my time but stupid studying. 

Jungkook was busy, so was everyone else I knew. Great, Jimin left me a secluded mess. I went downstairs and saw my appa reading the newspaper while eomma was drinking her coffee, watching T.V. I got some water and sat next to my appa on the couch. 

Eomma turned to me. "Tae, what are you doing? You should be studying right now, your exams are tomorrow," she nagged. "I already studied enough. I'm bored," I whined.

Appa set down his newspaper. "If you're so bored study more. Real men don't whine like a child to their eommas. Stop acting like a girl, and go study more," he snapped.

My blood was boiling. He was so sexist. I felt yelling a few fucks to him and flipping him off repeatedly. I just rolled my eyes and got upstairs. 

I fell onto my bed and screamed out my frustrations out into my pillow. I pulled out my phone and brought up Jimin's contact. I pressed at it, desperate to hear his soothing voice. 

He didn't answer, of course when I needed him most. I texted him instead.

Alien Tae👽  
I miss you so much already and it's only been a few hours. Please be safe and come back soon! I love you!💜

Hopefully, he would answer. Though he never did, for days. I hung out with Jungkook and we had a good time together, but there were still those split seconds when Jimin would show up in my mind. Or split hours more like. 

I was starting to forget what his face looked like. It was so soon when he was going to come back home. Is it weird that I can't bare much longer without him?

I was laying on my bed in utter boredom and depression. I closed my eyes in exhaustion. I haven't been able to sleep without Jimin by my side. I suddenly heard a knock at my door. 

"Come in," I spoke flatly. Eomma was standing there at the door frame. "V, I'm worried about you. You won't eat, sleep, and you are constantly on your bed like this sulking. What happened that has gotten you like this?" she asked.

"I'm just bored eomma. I'll study some more, don't worry. My grades are fine too, my exam got a perfect score. I'm just worn out these days, especially with my constant track practice. I have a competition soon, I'm just a bit nervous," I made a series of excuses.

"If you say so, just try to eat. You won't be healthy and energetic at track if you don't get some nutrition," she scolded me. I nodded and listened to her whole "health" speech.

Once she left, I got up to get out of this house. I wanted to go to the beach. Whenever I go there, it's like I can feel his presence. It was a beautiful day outside. It was a bit chilly, though the sun was shining enough that the temperature was bearable. 

I spread out my arms, feeling the wind rush over me. I felt the breeze part through my hands. My hair swished in the air. It was so peaceful. I took of my shoes, letting my feet make contact with the soft sand. I rolled up my pants and put my feet in the water. The forceful waves crashed upon my ankles. 

The sun began to set in the distance. It was so beautiful, that it made me sad. Whenever I saw something amazing I thought of Jimin. Though he isn't here, so I can't make my experience better right now without him. He'd make some cynical joke about how cheesy I am thinking about this. 

I really miss him, that it hurts. Is this what it would feel like in the future? Will I always have an aching heart whenever Jimin is gone? How can I wait for him, when I am already dying after just a week without him? I don't know if I can just leave Jimin so easily after graduation. Maybe it would be easier if he intentionally left me. No, that would hurt like hell.

I wish he were here telling me to stop rambling about all my worries. I miss his pouty face and his cute grin. I miss his cuddles, and how he begged to be top when he's clearly a bottom. How he would hold hands with me and kiss me back so emotionally. I wish I could see him standing next to me. Though, the reality is, he's thousands of miles away, and has probably forgotten all about me.

Tears started to fall from my eyes. I tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming back. Jimin would tell me to lean on him right now. Now the only person who is with me, is myself. 'Cause that's my my fate, to be alone.

I went to school that day with puffy eyes. I cried so much last night. It was like my tears didn't want to stop falling. I didn't care that I looked dead. The only thing I really needed from school was an education. It shouldn't matter if I look terrible while learning.

Jungkook walked with me after school. "I'm worried about you hyung. You haven't done anything but show up to school and track practice. You've barely been socializing with anyone. You also look extremely depressed and won't eat. What's wrong?" he wondered. 

Jungkook was my best friend ever since we were kids. I could let out my feelings to him, right? "It's Jimin, he hasn't to talked to me in a week. I understand he's busy with his family in Seoul, but he could've at least replied to my texts. I bet he hates me, I wouldn't be surprised, because I hate myself too," my voice was breaking. 

"He doesn't hate you, hyung. You're just blaming things on yourself again. I thought you promised me you weren't going to do that anymore. You're the most intelligent and compassionate person I know. There's no way Jimin can hate someone like you," he told me. 

"Thank you, Jungkook. I love you," I buried my face into his shoulder. Jungkook wrapped his arms around me and comforted me. I really needed someone to just listen to me. I'm glad that Kookie was always there for me.

I went back to the beach, in hopes to see my chimchim. Though, there was no sign of him. I just laid in the sand while basking in the sun. I felt something hovering over me, blocking the sun's rays. 

I opened my eyes to see a familiar smiling boy. My eyes widened. I quickly got up and jumped into his arms. "Jimin, I missed you," I told him. "I know you did. I got your texts just when I got back. I'm sorry I didn't answer them back. I had lost my phone and found out I left it in my room here the whole week."

I didn't need an explanation anymore. I was just glad he was here with me. "My eomma and brother aren't home right now, do wanna go?" I nodded vigorously in response. 

I eventually arrived at his house. It was small, but cozy and very welcoming. Nothing like my big empty house. Jimin showed me to his room. It was filled with sci-fi posters and old records. His room was really vintage, which I found sexy. "Do you like my room?" he asked. "Yeah, it's very expressive. I find that cute," I mentioned.

"Of course you do," he let out an exasperated sigh. I walked closer to him and joined our lips together. I shoved him on his bed and I climbed on top of him. 

We started panting heavily. This was all going pretty fast, but I couldn't get my hands off him. Jimin turned the tables and forced himself on top of me. "Let me be top for a while. I haven't touched you in a week, I need some pleasure," he whispered in my ear huskily. 

As he was kissing me he started unbuttoning my shirt. I was so lost in the moment that I hadn't thought to stop him from seeing all the bruises. Jimin pulled away from me with his eyes filled surprise. He ran his hand softly against my bruises. "He did all of this to you?" he questioned.

"Yeah, though they don't hurt much. Don't worry about me," I reassured him. "Where did you get that huge scar? Did he start cutting you? I swear I'll kill him!" he ranted. I caressed his face softly to get him calmed down. Once his breathing steadied I told him about how I got my scar from jumping off that cliff during my family vacation.

"You're so stupid sometimes," Jimin chuckled. "Hey, I was only thirteen, give me a break," I joked. Jimin's smile faded. "Will you ever stop being abused like this?" he wondered. "I don't know, but you shouldn't have seen them. My bruises and scars are ugly. I absolutely hate them, they make me feel weak and ashamed. I don't want you seeing me so vulnerable like this. I'm so afraid of him. I'm just such a coward that I'd be an embarrassment to you," I say.

Jimin sat there in silence. He started peppering my unclothed stomach filled with bruises with kisses. He lifted himself off me and started stringing my arms with kisses that had bruises as well. 

In between his kisses he began to say something. "There's no way in this world that you could be weak and ugly with these bruises. These imprints on your skin don't define who you are. How you deal with them do. Kim Taehyung, I love you more than anything in this world, and when you start blaming and doubting yourself like this hurts me. You are so strong and positive and incredibly beautiful. Don't let anyone else think otherwise," he encouraged me. 

That was when I knew, that my fate was Park Jimin. He was always going to be there around every corner I looked, because my answer is him. We might separate one day, though he will always stay by me in everything I do. I love this man, and no one can take him from me, not even my appa.


	15. What is Love?

Hoseok's POV 

The alarm clock on my nightstand blasted in my ear. I groaned in annoyance and hit the snooze button. I didn't want to get up this morning, but I had to, just like every day.

I slowly pulled off my blankets covering me, exposing the frigid air. My appa forgets to put on the heat, so it's constantly cold here.

I got dressed, combed my hair, brushed my teeth, basically my same old morning routine. I went downstairs, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. I threw my backpack onto my shoulders. I locked the door behind me as I shut it.

I felt a gust of wind flow over me. The sun was shining and the flowers showed radiant colors. I had to focus on the good things in life. That way, life could be worth more than death. 

My eomma is laying in a hospital bed half dead right now. Though I'm tired of being depressed all the time I just want to be happy. 

When I look at people smiling around me and the day being beautiful, I immediately feel better. I guess you could say I can adjust my emotions according to others.

I can't understand why, even though Min Yoongi has the most negative persona in my grade, that I'm so happy around him. Other people's moods and reactions to me make me feel what they feel. Though Yoongi doesn't like me romantically like I do to him. So why am I going so crazy for him? 

Jimin and Taehyung had been spending so much time together, I had barely seen Jiminie anymore. I missed him, but Yoongi and I have become closer. 

I sat next to him in the library. We began reading next to each other when Yoongi set down his book and turned to me.

"Hey, are you doing anything tonight?" he asked. "No, just studying for exams," I answered. "Can I hang out with you after school?" I was surprised he just asked to hangout with me. My face heated up and my heart began to race. Just the thought of getting him all to myself in my empty house makes me so happy.

"Sure, we can study together. My parents aren't home, so we won't be disturbed or anything." Wait, that sounded like I was implying sexual things! Yoongi must be so weirded out by me right now. I can't believe those stupid words just came out of my mouth. I mentally faced palmed myself. 

"Okay, that sounds cool. I'll see you after school. Meet me at the school gate," he said nonchalantly. I'm glad he didn't notice how dirty my comment was. I nodded at his request and got my stuff ready for when the bell would ring.

...

I quickly rushed to outside gate, wanting to get to Yoongi as fast as I could. I saw him standing there, leaning against the brick barrier. With one of his knees bent and his foot laying flatly on the gate and his other foot on the ground, he looked like a bad boy. He had his arms crossed, which showed people intimidation. 

Many people were scared of him, or hated him because he was different. To me, he was just an innocent child who wanted to be loved. I've always admired him with everything I have. It makes me so confused and hurt when people criticize him for being his wonderful self. It even went so far he tried to...commit suicide. 

I shuddered at the thought of if I hadn't been there. Would his whole life have been called a tragedy? Would people cry genuine tears for him? Would he ever be the person more than the mental kid? Do people ever realize that their words affect others? I have so many unanswered questions that are overflowing.

I made my way to Yoongi with a grin. He looked up at me with his deep, dark eyes. "Ready to go?" I asked. "Yeah," he muttered. 

As we walked beside each other I was tempted to hold his hand. I imagine the ultimate euphoria I'd have if we made physical contact. I follow Yoongi with my eyes, noticing that he is hanging his head. There's a regret and sorrowful expression on his face. I should've known something serious was happening with him. He never asked me first to hang out.

"Yoongi, what's wrong?" I wondered. "Nothing, I'm fine," he shrugged it off. "It's not 'nothing'. Don't just hide your feelings. I'm here to listen if you want to talk, but I won't force you. I don't want you to suffer any longer," I told him.

Yoongi didn't reply. We kept on walking in silence as we reached my house. I unlocked the door and went inside with Yoongi. I set my keys on the table. 

Yoongi sat down on the couch as I got some water for us. I went into the living room and sat our water down on the coffee table before I sat across from Yoongi. I glanced up at him. He stared at his filled glass, never actually drinking it.

"Last night," he broke the silence,"my stepdad was arrested for abuse. I'm glad he is. He was an asshole and deserves to rot in a jail cell. Though I can't go back to my house, it brings back too many painful memories. I'll also have to testify in court about a month from now for his hearing. I don't want to see him again," he vented.

"Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I never knew you were suffering so much at home. If I knew-" "Even of you did know before, you couldn't have done anything to stop it. Trust me, I tried to report him plenty of times, but no one believes a kid."

I nodded still, though I had guilt. "You've been through so much, the least I could do is show up at the hearing with you. You could also maybe move in with me if you don't want to be alone," I offered.

"Are you sure? I'm a hell of a lot to deal with," he warned. "No you aren't. I enjoy your company," I said. "You're the first," he muttered.

I placed my hand on his. "You're an amazing person. I just can't understand how anyone can hurt you, physically or mentally on purpose. You've been through so much, and had to deal with it all by yourself. I promise that now when you're with me I'll always be by your side to help you." 

Yoongi sat there, looking at me with stunned silence. I wonder what he's thinking. Is this his only reaction? It does sound weird. What if he starts to tease me about this? Does he find me saying this annoying or too sappy?

"Why did you stop me from killing myself that day? Why are you telling me all these positive things? Why are you the one to be nice to me when no one else has?" he asked.

"Because, I like you Min Yoongi. I know I told you I wouldn't, but I can't help it. Everyone seems to think you're this cold, tough person when you're really the thing that makes me smile everyday. I know you may not like me back, and yeah I'll be disappointed, but I understand if you don't like me that way. I much rather have you as a friend after this, instead of losing you," I confessed.

"You don't want to love me. I'm more trouble than I'm worth. It'd be easier if you just avoided me. I'm not capable of loving someone. If you were with me, I'd just hurt you," he spoke. 

"That's not true. Yoongi, you beat yourself up even when nothing is wrong with you. Yeah, we're all a little fucked up, but nobody's perfect. If you ask me, I just seem to find your imperfections more attractive." I blushed as these words came out of my mouth.

Yoongi's POV 

I wish he would just stop saying stuff like this. 'Cause when I hear these things from him I tend to believe him. Though I know it's not true at all, right? 

Every day I was yelled at for being gay, abused for being different. It's all the same stupid shit that most teenagers like me go through. I know it's not me that was the problem, but when you hear it like you are, it's hard to think otherwise. It's like a routine of self destruction that you can't break from.

I want to be happy. Smile genuinely again. I want to be his. Though how can I love him when I'm so messed up like this? I don't ever want to hurt him, so I have to keep a distance, just like with everyone else.

I don't know why, maybe because of my festering, built up emotions, but my heart began to sink. My throat felt heavy and eyes started to sting with hot tears. I tend to grip the ends of my sleeves when I get upset like this. Tears fell from my eyes as if they were a fountain.

Hoseok went over to me and softly embraced me. His touch was so warm and inviting. It felt so comforting. I couldn't help myself at this point. I just had to, because I didn't want to distance myself, even though it would've been safer.

I cupped his face and I moved closer to him, placing my lips onto his. It all felt surreal, and completely weird. Kissing is very different and awkward, but also pretty sexy. I had kissed someone before him, but Hoseok was unique. I mean where else can you find the literal sun?

Hoseok pulled away, stunned but smiling brightly. He wiped away my tears and pecked me on my cheek innocently. 

"Is everything alright?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm sorry for being a mess like this. I just am confused with everything, especially you. Though that's not your fault. Can you still like me, when I'm still confused?" 

"Of course I'd still love you if you were confused. I honestly have never been in a serious relationship before, so I'm also pretty confused," he says. "You'd still love me, huh?" Hoseok averted his eyes quickly at the mention of his  
slip-up. "That doesn't sound so bad to me," I smirked. 

I leaned in closer to him. "I love you too." I smashed my lips onto his. "That was such a weird reciprocation to my sentence. You're adorable Min Yoongi," he breathed in between our kisses. 

He laid me on the couch and went on top of me. He ran his fingers through my hair as I began to run my fingers down his chest. I deepened our kiss with my tongue. 

I played with his belt, being really needy. I began to slip it off discreetly. He started trailing my neck with kisses and moved up to my ear. He bit my ear softly. "Do you want to take this upstairs?" he questioned. Once he saw my head nod he quickly scooped me up in his arms and took me up to his bedroom. 

We finally got to his room and he placed me gently on the bed. I stared into Hoseok's eyes, he looked so focused and calmed. I knew I was ready to take this next step in our relationship with him. There was no one I trusted more than him. 

Hoseok's POV 

Oh my god, I'm freaking out! What if he doesn't like it? What if I hurt him?What if he hates me afterwards? CALM DOWN HOSEOK, CALM DOWN! 

I took a deep breath and I saw Yoongi, he had his arm over his head in attempt to cover his blush. I smiled, I love when he blushes. I suddenly didn't feel nervous. I leaned down to whisper in his ear. 

"Relax, I'll take good care of you."  
I slowly lifted his hands off his face. I had never seen him so vulnerable. 

Third person 

Hoseok then whispered in his ear,  
"You are so beautiful."

He started biting and sucking and Yoongi's ear. He traveled down to his neck. He lightly butterfly kissed his neck but then started sucking harder, leaving pinkish purple hickies. He wanted the whole world to know that Min Yoongi was his. 

Hoseok started unbuttoning his shirt showing off his chiseled abs. Yoongi blushed. He wanted to suck every single crevasse of Hoseok's abs. 

When Hoseok lifted Yoongi's shirt, he started to get really embarrassed, he knew that he didn't have a figure like Hoseok's and he didnt want to disappoint him. 

Hoseok didn't mind one bit and started licking around his soft pink nipples. Yoongi was caught of guard and let out a soft moan, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

"Hey don't cover your face, I want to hear you scream my name." Hoseok said, removing Yoongi's hands again. 

He started moving down Yoongi's stomach. Hoseok started to move up against Yoongi's crouch through his pants. All Yoongi could feel was the slight friction from his pants rubbing against his dick. 

"Ugh, Hobi stop teasing," he whined.

Hoseok looked at him and unbuttoned his jeans, he then unzipped the pants with his teeth and slowly took off Yoongi's pants and underwear. 

Hoseok then took a long slow lick up Yoongi's shaft. He was squirming in ecstasy.

"Hoseok, more like Hoseok your dick," he commented. "Wow, Hobi is this really the right time to make a joke?" Yoongi shot back.

"It's always the right time to make a joke, my love," he answered sweetly.

Hoseok then sucked down on Yoongi harder, making him a squirming mess. Yoongi knew he needed more. 

"Hah -uh hobi, i need uh- " "You need what? I won't be able to do anything for you if you don't tell me."

"I need you to fuck my ass." Yoongi said quietly and covered his face. "What was that? I didn't hear you." He leaned in closer to his face and removed Yoongi's hands away. 

Yoongi leaned toward hoseok's ear.  
"I said I need you to fuck my ass, hard," he whispered into his ear. 

Hoseok nearly disintegrated from blushing. He felt his whole body heat up. "Your wish is my command," he said smirking.

He went down to his asshole and licked it lightly, Yoongi squirmed but Hoseok pinned him down. Hobi slowly put his finger in Yoongi's ass. He felt really uncomfortable. 

"Alright Yoongi, I'm gonna put it in now," he warned. "W-wait Hobi, I'm scared. I'm afraid it's gonna hurt really bad," he said blushing. 

"Aw my love, I'm sorry to tell you the truth, though it's gonna hurt for a little while. After that, it is going to feel amazing. I understand if you don't wanna do it right now. I just want you to be comfortable."

"N-no it's ok, I trust you. It'll be fine. I love you so much and I'm ready to do this with you."

Hobi leaned towards Yoongi and kissed him. He broke away and whispered, "I love you too," in Yoongi's ear which gave him a shiver down his spine. 

Hobi flipped Yoongi over, grabbing a condom and some lube. After he put it on and lubed it up, he softly said, "Okay, I'm putting it in for real this time. I'll go slowly and speed up when you have adjusted."

As Hobi put it in, Yoongi shut his eyes and grasped the sheets tightly.  "Are you ok?" Hobi asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, but it stings a little bit. You can go ahead and move," he confirmed.

Hoseok started at a slow pace, but he saw Yoongi squirming in discomfort. Hoseok hated to see Yoongi in this pain but he knew it would feel good in a little bit. 

"Baby, just hold on a bit longer. You'll feel great soon," he assured him.  
"It's okay, I trust you," Yoongi replied.

Hoseok then started to thrust a little faster. He heard Yoongi's whimpers and cries of pain turn to full-on pleasure. Yoongi was in heaven. He felt all of Hobi in all of him and it felt glorious. 

"Ugh, Hoseok faster," he pleaded. As soon as Hobi heard that, he put his full length in really hard, making Yoongi squirm in pleasure. 

"Hobi, harder!" Hearing Yoongi say his name like that could make him cum on the spot. 

He thrusted harder and faster. Yoongi was grasping on to the sheets and panting. 

"Hobi, I'm almost there," he panted.  
"Me too." 

They came in unison and Hoseok laid down beside Yoongi. Hobi was inches away from Yoongi's lips. His breath was warm on Yoongi's face. He leaned in and kissed Yoongi. 

Hoseok's tongue intertwined with Yoongi's. When Yoongi was kissing Hobi, it felt like thousands of fireworks going off at once. Hobi pulled away to Yoongi's ear, "I love you." Yoongi's entire body shivered. 

"I love you too," he kissed him on the cheek. They both leaned forward to share a tender embrace and cuddled the rest of the night. 

___________________________  
kim_gayung69 thank you for writing the smut for me! I really appreciate that you saved me from my terrible writer's block for the sope chapter. Please check out her channel, it has some otabekxyuri and vmin oneshots. I hope you enjoyed the cute chapter. Just a warning, the next chapters will get intense really quick. Thanks for reading, I purple you!!!💜


	16. Forever Regretting pt.1

Taehyung's POV 

Jimin and I walk to school hand in hand. I'm so happy that he's here with me again. I can't get enough of his touch.

"Tonight my parents are going to be at a meeting and they aren't going to be back until around 1 a.m. Did you have any plans that you wanted to do with me?" I asked him.

"You could meet my eomma tonight. She's really cool, and isn't homophobic. My brother won't be there so you won't have to worry about him being a dick," he suggested.

"Are you sure she'll like me?" I started doubting myself like always. "If she doesn't like you that's her fault for missing out on your amazing personality. Plus I highly doubt she'll hate you. She's exactly like me, but a woman. So it would be weird if she didn't accept you," he answered.

"Fine, I'll go with you tonight. As long I'm with you," I kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you. You won't be disappointed," he replied.

Jimin's POV 

Once lunch time had come around I went to see Hobi in the library. Tae and I usually split up at this time so he's hanging out with Jungkook. When I entered the library Hobi was sitting next to Yoongi like usual. I took a seat across from them. I don't think they even notice me.

I clear my throat to indicate my existence. They turn their gaze to me. "Oh, hey Jiminie," Hoseok says flatly. "Hey, it's been a while. If you didn't know, I was in Seoul for all of last week," I mentioned.

"Of course I knew. Everyone saw how devastated Tae was when you left. He even came to school with red, swollen eyes. Even when his brother left he at least covered up his eyes with makeup. People honestly thought he was dying," he told me.

"I swear he can't do anything when I'm not by his side. Well, I'm finally here now. Tell me what's been going on with you," I said.

"Not much, I just hung out with Yoongi." I look over at him and realize he's asleep.  "You guys really only hung out? Or did you do something more interesting? Something...sexual?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

His face immediately heats up. "Oh shit, you guys did do something! Did you guys have sex?" I ask in disbelief.

"Y-yeah. Though don't tell anyone, okay?" I nodded in response. "What was it like? Is Yoongi good? Was he top or bottom? Sorry, you don't have to answer these questions. My virgin body is just taking over out of curiosity," I spoke.

"You're a virgin?" he questioned. "Yeah, isn't it obvious." I showed it off like a prize. "I thought you and Tae already...you know," he replied. "No way. How do you know that we're even together?" I wondered.

"You two are so touchy, that I'd be worried of your definition of friendship if you denied my statement," he mentioned. 

"I guess we kinda are, but not as much when we're alone. We do get close to having sex, but every time Tae says we should wait. I understand it takes time, so I'm not that upset. I just wish I could lose my virginity before I die. At the pace it's going at now I won't get laid until I'm at least 20," I sighed.

"Chill Jimin, I'm sure you're just exaggerating. Just be patient," he advised. "I know, I'm still happy for you though. How does it feel now to not be a virgin?" I asked.

"I feel really happy. Especially that I lost it to Yoongi. I love him," he said. "I hope I feel the same. I probably will, because it's Kim Taehyung. He's fucking sexy with his shirt off. I don't care how much you say Yoongi's sexy, no one in my mind can surpass Taehyung," I stated.

"At least I know you're devoted," he said. "You're sure as hell I am," I smiled. There's no way in my life I'm going to give him up. Even if all the odds are against us.

...

After school I see Tae at the school gate waiting for me. I run to him quickly. "Hey chichim. You look really happy to see me," he pointed out. "I am, I missed you a lot today. I know I saw you in class, but it's not the same if I can't talk to you," I tell him.

"Aw, my poor chimchim. How can I make you feel better?" he asked. "We could cuddle, make out, or something much more intense," I wink. Tae chuckled sweetly. 

"I'll take the cuddles for now. I know that you're going to say I'm missing out, but if I did that with you right now I'd feel weird at dinner tonight," he informed me.

"Why would you feel weird?" I wondered. "It's just I really want your eomma to like me. She might see me tonight and think I'm not worthy to be your first. I want to give you all the right things in life. What if I was bad and you hated me during sex? Then you'd leave me, I couldn't focus on exams, and my appa would kill me for getting a bad score," he hyperventilated.

"Calm down Tae, I'm not going to leave you if our sex sucks. All sex is awkward the first time, it just takes a few times until it's really amazing. Even if it didn't get better, which I highly doubt, I still wouldn't leave you. You're worth more than any sexual pleasure," I speak truthfully.

Tae's face immediately goes bright red. He cleared his throat and continued to walk forward. "Are you okay? Tae, slow down," I told him. He was really fast when he wanted to be. It took forever for me to catch up to him.

"Taehyung, stop." I grabbed a hold of his wrist. He didn't make eye contact with me. "What's wrong? Why are you running away from me? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I had to say that to you. I don't care if we never have sex or if you are terrible at it. I'm serious," I repeat.

"It's not that," he sniffed. "It's the fact that you're so amazing, talented, adorable, and so completely cynical. I hate that I'm so in love with you. When you say supportive things like that it just makes me love you more. Though if I get so attached like this, how can I possibly separate from you after we graduate? 

"I know my fate, though I'm still hoping for a miracle to happen. Why am I so stupid? There is going to be no 'us' after we go to college. You're gonna find someone else that's better than me, and I'll be majoring in law since my appa wants me to. 

"I'll never be free, I've known that ever since I met you. Yet I still went after you, because everything about you makes me feel so insanely euphoric. I'm so sorry that I still went after you, I was just so selfish. I was thinking about me when I should've thought how my messed up life would fuck up yours too. That's why I wish you weren't so kind to me," he cried.

"Well, I think otherwise. You're not selfish, and I never regretted one second that I spent with you. I love you so fucking much, why can't you understand that? I think we will end up together in the future. Yeah, it's a completely ridiculous thought, but I love you so much that I'd be willing to go through anything for you. It makes me so pissed and hurt that you think you're a burden to me. 

"When will you ever accept yourself? That's why you can't face anyone, especially your appa. How can you expect to help your eomma if you can't even help yourself. You doubt and blame everything on yourself. I'm tired of seeing you suffer like this. When will you learn to love yourself already?" I yelled.

"Jimin, I-I don't know how to love myself. How can I if my appa has been calling me shit for all of my life? He tells me how it would've been better if I had never been born. He also calls me weak and ugly. He would sometimes make me starve if I ever looked overweight. 

"I'm all alone when I'm with him. That's why I feel like I'm drowning when I see him. I'm trapped, and I'll always be until either him or I die. I can never have strength if I'm near him, even if I do have confidence. You don't know him like I do. He's not someone you can just easily approach," he says.

"You're not alone, ever. I might not always be with you physically, but I'll forever affect you. You said it yourself how I'll always be with you, even if I'm miles away. You just have to have faith in yourself and me. You can stand up against him, I believe in you," I caressed his hair.

Tae joined our lips together. Once he pulled away his eyes widened. "What is it?" I wondered. "You're crying chimchim," he acknowledged. I touched my face, feeling wet teardrops.

"I guess I am," I forced a smile as I wiped them away. I suppose part of me is scared of what's going to happen in the future, but I'm also relieved Tae is still here with me right now. For now, I wanted to focus only on the present. 

Taehyung's POV 

I walk to Jimin's house holding hands with him. I felt so scared that at any moment he would leave me, so I held onto his hand for dear life.

"There's no reason to be so nervous meeting my eomma. You'll be fine, I'm right here with you," he reassured me. His words soothed my anxiety.

I entered his house with Jimin in front of me. "Hey eomma, I'm home," he announced. "Jiminie! How was school?" she asked. "It was like any other day," he answered.

She noticed me hiding behind Jimin. "Who's your friend?" she questioned. "He's actually my boyfriend." Jimin wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in closer.

"Oh, is this the Taehyung you've been telling me about?" Jimin nodded. "Hi, nice to meet you Ms. Park," I bowed. "No need to be so formal in front of me. You're now part of the family." She embraced me tightly.

I awkwardly hugged her back. I saw Jimin in the corner of my eye laughing his ass off. I just stuck out my tongue in his general direction. 

We all had a nice dinner. We laughed, and I shared things about myself to his eomma. It felt warm, which I hadn't felt in a while. I felt accepted. Even when I'm just with my eomma, she still doesn't know I'm gay. Well I don't know if I'm gay really, I just know I'm in love with Jimin.

After a while I had to go back home and Jimin walked with me. We had a detour on the way. We bought some snacks and went to the isolated beach.

I opened the bag of potato chips and handed one to Jimin. I placed the bag in the middle of us so we'd both easily have access to it. "This is such a great hangout spot. I'm glad we chose it," he mentioned.

"Yeah, it'll be a nice refuge after we have life-draining jobs. By the way, I never asked you what you wanted to major in," I said.

"I'll be majoring in acting. I've been wanting to be an actor ever since I was seven," he informs me. "That's so cool," I grin.

"If you had a choice, would you become a singer?" he asks. "Probably, it's been my passion for as long as I can remember. Namjoon would rap and I'd sing. We would hold shows for our relatives during big holidays. It was my favorite thing to do," I reminisced. 

"Could you sing a song for me? Please, just one," he pleaded. "I don't know, I don't sound that good, I'll probably just hurt your ears," I made excuses.

"Tae, I've heard you before and you sound like an angel," he complimented me. "Fine, just one song. It's one of my favorites," I reply.

 

My eyes keep going to that white face  
Why don't I even get sick of you?  
When you slightly smile at me,  
I really go crazy  
How can you be so pretty baby?

How can I explain this feeling?  
When I see you,  
my heart becomes numb and sore

Oh, with what word can I explain you?  
All the words of the world is probably not enough  
With those legs that are so pretty by just standing still  
You walk toward me and you hug me

You know he's so beautiful  
Maybe you will never know  
I want to hide you in my embrace  
And only I want to look at you

I'm not saying this out of a young heart  
But I really want to marry you

Oh, with what word can I explain you?  
All the words of the world is probably not enough  
With those legs that are so pretty by just standing still  
You walk toward me and you hug me

Telling you multiple times is not enough  
With this tickling voice  
that only knows you  
I will sing for you

My heart keeps going to you  
I'm really going crazy

 

"Damn, that was sexy. Who wrote the song?" he wondered. "It's called Peach by IU. She's one of my favorite singers," I answer. 

"You could seriously make a career out of your voice. You sound so good, you gave me chills," he marveled. "Thanks," I blushed. 

...

We went back to my place. We immediately made it up the stairs and into my room. We laid on my bed while cuddling. 

"Taehyung..." Why was he using my full name? He barely does that. "Why are you pouting so much? Did I do something wrong?" I questioned. 

"Did you know Hoseok already lost his virginity? Imagine how weird it must feel to walk around already experiencing what all teenagers crave. Sex sounds amazing, but I'm not so sure of the after effects," he muttered.

My heart sank, but somehow out of nowhere I had a wave of confidence rush over me. "Well if you're so curious, why don't we give it a try? I mean, my parents aren't home and I have lube hidden in my dresser. It wouldn't be impossible to do right now," I suggest awkwardly.

He looks absolutely stunned right now. "Am I hearing you correctly? Did you just say you want to have sex? Like right now?" he made sure. I nod at him. "I wouldn't joke around with something like that," I say.

"Then what are we waiting for? You better fuck me right now or I'll make you be bottom," he smirked. Why do I find him so sexy right now?

I pin him on the bed and I go on top of him. I insert my tongue in his mouth and I start to explore it. Jimin deepens the kiss and moans softly into my mouth.

I separated our lips and I trail his neck with soft kisses. As I move down his body I pull of his shirt. It exposes the muscles and abs I never knew he had. He was so small and soft that I'd never think he was this buff.

Jimin breathes heavily as he makes his way to my pants. He slips them off revealing my boner. He softly squeezes my dick which makes me moan out in pleasure. 

"Fuck, Jimin you're gonna make me come before we've actually done anything," I complain to him. "I just couldn't help myself," he smirked mischievously. He slipped his hand into my boxers and bit the top of my ear softly. I panted heavily and pinned his arms down.

"I'm still top, remember?" Jimin just rolled his eyes and didn't protest. I was so into the moment I didn't notice the sound of the door knob turning. I turn my head to see my eomma and appa. Shit, shit, shit! He's going to beat the shit out of me.

I quickly get up and run to the door. "I'll explain later," I say before locking the door behind me. It won't buy me much time, but I need Jimin to get out of here safely before all hell breaks lose.

Appa started to bang on the door frantically. "What the fuck?" Jimin eyes widened. "You need to go Jimin, before you get hurt. Go out the window, quickly before he breaks down the door," I tell him.

"I can't leave you. He'll hurt you, I want to protect you," he cried. "Hey, I'll be fine. I won't ever be alone, like you told me. Don't worry and go back home. Go to the beach tomorrow and I'll see you there at 3:00 p.m." I wiped away his tears and kissed him sweetly.

"I love you my chimchim," I say. "I love you too. Text me when you get the chance," he requested. I nod and hug him. He put on the remainder of his clothes and went out the window.

I put on my clothes and braced myself before opening the door again. Jimin will always be with me, remember that. I can do anything when he's by my side, even if I get bruised and scarred.

I unlock the door and my appa immediately slaps me in the face. "You faggot! I thought I told you not to screw up like he did! Both of my sons are fucking failures! Do you know how hard I've worked to create the perfect sons? You are nothing but a mistake. I'm so ashamed. Do you want to die? I wasn't fooling around when I said I'd kill her. I can do it right in front of you if I have to!" he yelled.

"Or I'll kill both of you. I think I should start with your ungrateful ass." He kicked me repeatedly in the stomach. He lifted me by my shirt and punched me so hard my teeth were bleeding. Tears started to stream down my eyes. Think of Jimin, idiot. 

I stopped his bloody fist from making contact with me again. "You might hurt me, but you're more messed up than me. You're so weak you have to abuse people to make yourself feel better. Well I'm done being pushed around by you. YOU DON'T FUCKING OWN MY LIFE," I shouted.

I became so enraged that I hit him with all my strength. That resulted in me knocking him out. 

I went out of my room and saw eomma passed out in the hall. He must've hit her before trying to break down my door. I carry her to her room and place her gently on the bed. I put an ice pack on her head and pull the blankets over her.

I kiss her lightly on her forehead and leave her room while locking the door behind me. There's a bathroom connected to her room and I put some snacks next to her bed. That way she wouldn't have to go out of the room and see appa before I came back.

I limp out of my house with my phone. I feel really lightheaded and I'm losing I lot of blood. Though I don't stop walking. I need to get help. The only person that comes to my head in a situation like this is Namjoon. 

I pull out my phone and dial his number as fast as I could. "Tae, why are you calling me this late on a school night? It's 2 a.m.," he answered. 

"Hyung, I need help. It's really serious and I need you right now," I cry. "I'll be right there, just hold on for a while."

I felt like so many things were happening right now. I'm so overwhelmed I feel like the world is spiraling. I can't see straight, everything is so blurry. I felt my head make contact with the hard asphalt of the road. Then I felt a warm familiar presence. Jimin...


	17. Forever Regretting pt.2

Jimin's POV 

I went to the beach after leaving Taehyung's house. I know he wouldn't be here, but the memories here calmed me down. His appa was fucking scary. I hope Taehyung is okay.

I look at the time on my phone. It's already 2 a.m. I should get back home. When I make my way onto the sidewalk I hear crying.

"Hyung, I need help. It's really serious and I need you right now," the voice rings throughout my ears. I know that voice. I turn to Taehyung and walk towards him when I see him suddenly collapse.

I run to him and see a pool of blood flow out of him. I should've never left him alone. "Don't worry, I'll get you some help," I reassured him.

I hear his phone go off and I look at the screen. It was Namjoon calling. I answer the phone for him. "Tae, where are you?" he asked. "Namjoon, this is Jimin. Taehyung is really injured right now. I found him near the beach. He's bleeding a lot. I need to call an ambulance or he'll die," I tell him.

"Whatever you do don't call the hospital just yet. They'll ask what happened," he replies. "Does that really fucking matter right now? He could die in a matter of minutes if I don't do something. I love him, I can't leave him like this!" I yell. 

"Chill, I'm on my way. Just don't do anything. I'll figure out what do when I get there," he answers. "But-" I look at the screen and see he hung up on me. That bitch.

I see a car pulling up to us not long after our call. Namjoon examines Tae closely. "Damn, he's losing too much blood. Call 911 right now," he pressed down at the wound with his shirt.

After I finish calling them I turn to Namjoon. "Tae, can you hear me? I know you have the best hearing in the world, so please listen to me. You're gonna be okay, like you always are. Just hold on and don't you dare die on me...or Jimin. 

"I don't know what you see in him, but he's fucking crazy. Though he did find you for me, so I guess I owe him. You should be glad you have two people looking out for your scatter brain," he said to Tae.

Seeing him speak like this made me so afraid. Was he going to be okay? Was he going to die? Is another person going to end up leaving me? I can't handle this, especially now that I see what he has to live with. It makes me sick.

More tears start to form in my eyes. Namjoon looks up at me and put his hand on my shoulder. "He'll be okay, he always is. Has he told you about the time he jumped off a cliff? He almost got paralyzed," he softly chuckled.

"Yeah, he told me. He's still so naive sometimes," I say. I hear alarms go off around us. There was the ambulance. They get a carrier out and lift him onto it. I get into the truck with Tae and Namjoon rode in his car.

I grasp his hand as I see the oxygen mask being put on over his head. They rush him into the E.R. while I worry in the waiting room. 

Namjoon takes a seat next to me and sighs deeply. "Well, this has taken a turn for the worst." I show him a concerned look. "Is he okay?" I asked.

"From what I heard the doctors say, he should be okay to leave in about two days. He just needs some stitches and bed rest," he informs me. 

"I'm glad he's fine." I felt a wave of relief flow over me. "Do you know what happened that caused this?" he wondered. I nod.

"Your appa found out about us and freaked out. I guess he took it too far. Tae forced me to leave once it happened so I would be safe. I was so worried and then I found him out on the street like that. It didn't make me feel better," I mentioned.

"Life sucks when it springs stuff on you like that. Once Tae gets out of here, I'm going to make him move in with me. It's ridiculous if he has to stay with my appa anymore. It just might take some time. My appa is not a person to mess with," he shuddered at the thought.

"Do you even think Tae can leave? It sounds like he doesn't have a choice to leave or stay. He's trapped here. You can't just run away, even if you keep him safe. What if he starts hurting someone else? If you just run, he could end up abusing other people. You have to deal with him before anyone else," I advised.

"I wish I could, but I don't know how," he sighed. "Reporting him to the police is always an option," I suggested. "Last time I reported it, no one believed me. My appa is a very persuasive person, no one outside my family would think he's anything but a saint. That's how it is when you have a psychotic parent," he told me.

"Though there has to be another way-" "Even if there was, I've probably tried it already. That man is unstoppable. There's no way of limiting the powerful impact he has put on people. That's just the reality, both Tae and I have accepted it. Nothing he does surprises us anymore," he admitted.

"Can you still and at least try to contact the police, for Tae's sake," I pleaded. He hesitated, but nodded still. I muttered a small thank you.

I hung my head, dropping the subject and waiting for Tae to be alright. Patience is not one of my best qualities. Sitting around like this, doing nothing is driving me insane. I drift off into sleep after being so exhausted. 

...

 

"Jimin, wake up," he nudged me on the shoulder. My eyes slowly fluttered open. "Tae's awake and we can see him now," he told me. My eyes widened in excitement. I got up and frantically looked around. "Which room is he in?" I wondered. 

"Follow me," he says. I trailed behind him and was lead to room 145. I see Tae looking bored out of his mind and I feel better. He's still his crazy self. 

"How's my alien?" Namjoon apparently calls him that too. "Joonie! You're here. How did you find me?" he wondered. "This crackhead over here," he signaled over to me.

I roll my eyes at him and go over to Tae's side. "Chimchim, you should be at school right now. You already missed a week of school, if you miss anymore you'll fall behind. Exams are already happening and if you don't take them you'll graduate later than everyone else," he scolded me.

"Do you think I care about school right now? Tae, you're in a hospital right now. There's no way in hell I'd not be here," I replied. "I'll be fine, go to school," he insisted.

"There's no way I'm leaving until you get discharged. It's your fault that you're dating me. Don't complain if I want to keep you company," I told him.

"Fine," he gave in. "Stop grossing me out. You guys fight like an old married couple. It's sick," Namjoon complained. "I bet you're worse when you're with Jin," Tae said. "Well, you're not wrong," he joked. 

Taehyung's POV 

Jimin stayed with me the whole time while I was at the hospital. It was sweet, but I sensed something wasn't right. What happened when I passed out?

"Jimin, are you okay?" I asked him once Namjoon left the room. "Yeah, everything's fine. You shouldn't worry about me. Your main priority should be healing," he avoided the question.

"Tell me Jimin. I know when something's wrong. Stop hiding from me," I pouted. He looked down at  the floor. "I swear everything is great," he muttered. 

I lifted his chin up so I could see his face. "Nothing is great, I know you're lying. Trust me, I won't judge you," I reassured him. 

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought you were going to die. I don't ever want you to leave me. How can survive without you? I know you'll leave after you get out of the hospital. It's all going to end so soon," he rambled.

"I don't understand what you're saying. I'm not going to leave you after I leave the hospital," I tell him.

"That's not true. Everything will change once you go back home. You told me yourself that if your appa found out about us you'd be dead. You're in a hospital right now. 

"The only way you can be safe is if you stay with Namjoon who lives hours away from here. You'll leave me, I know it. Even if you don't intentionally do, I have that feeling. It's the feeling I had right before my appa died. It's never wrong," he cried.

I wipe away his tears. "Calm down, I won't leave you. Just like you'll never leave me. Don't cry, I'm here now, that's the only thing that's important," I say. He nods and hugs me tightly. "I love you Kim Taehyung," he spoke. "I love you too Park Jimin," I caressed his face.

...

When I got discharged, Namjoon drove me home. As I walked in, Namjoon followed behind me. I see appa reading his newspaper on the recliner like it was a normal day.

"You're both back. It's my lucky day. I get to see the two fags of the day," he riled up Joonie. I see him curl his hand into a fist. "It'll be alright, don't let him get to you," I whispered into his ear.

He slowed his breathing down. "I need to speak with eomma," he pushed past appa. I sat on the couch and hung my head. Appa took a seat next to me. I felt so uncomfortable. 

"I heard that you reported me to the police. I'll make a compromise with you. If you shut up about me abusing your eomma, then I won't harm that boy you were with. Park Jimin, 18 years old, his appa died two years ago, he lives with his eomma and brother, and he wants to be an actor. 

"I know everything about him and I also know that you've been dating for a few months now. I have eyes and ears everywhere, don't forget that. 

"I know that right now he's at his house cooking with his eomma. I also know that in a matter of seconds he could be shot by one of my workers. If you testify, by one simple phone call, the love of your life will die. Break up with him, and he'll be safe, I promise. It's a simple deal, you just have to keep your word."

In times like this, even when I feel Jimin's presence, I'm still weak. Or you could call it an act of sacrifice. If I broke up with him, especially after I told him I wouldn't leave him, he would hate me. Though I much rather have him despise me than die. This is all for Jimin, even if I suffer.

"Deal. Though if you ever break your promise, I'll tell the police and make sure you rot in jail," I say. "Fine, it's your mistake for agreeing to this. Don't regret this when I beat the shit out of you," he smirked.

I don't care what happens to me, as long as Jimin is safe. I see Namjoon come out of eomma's room. He pulls me away from appa. 

"I can get you out of here by the end of this week, just hold on for a while," he told me. "I have to stay, I can't tell you why and I know I'm crazy, but don't dwell on it. I'll be fine living with appa, I've dealt with it plenty of times before. Just forget about me and live a nice life with Jin. I love you," I embrace him.

"Tae, eomma will be okay, you don't have to stay. You can live with me and you won't have to live in fear anymore. I don't understand why you want to stay. Jimin will be happy if you're safe, I already talked to him about it," he said.

"It's not because of Jimin. I just have to stay here. I'll be fine, if it gets too serious I'll live with you. Though it's only a few more weeks before school is out. After I'll be getting an apartment close to where I go to college. So don't worry about me," I lied for his sake.

"I guess I'll let you stay. Don't hesitate to call if things get too out of hand. Goodbye," Namjoon farewelled. "Bye, hyung. Drive carefully," I warned. "I will," he sighed and went out the door.

Now, I had to do the hardest thing in my life. I texted Jimin to meet me at the beach. As I went out my heart already began to ache.

I saw Jimin with his feet in the water as he basked in the warm breeze. I walked up behind him. He realized I was behind him and he turned while grinning at me. 

Please don't make this harder for me. It's not easy for me to break your heart like this, especially when I'm still deeply in love with you.

I keep my head down. "Tae, you said you wanted to tell me something important. Did your appa do something again? Do you need to go to the hospital again?" he bombarded me with questions.

"No, it's nothing like that," I say. "I-I think w-we s-s-should break u-up." Jimin's joyful expression faded. "Ha ha, very funny," he replied sarcastically.

"I'm not joking, I mean it. I don't love you, I never did. I think it would be easier if I just left instead of pretending like this," I choked on my words.

"What do you mean?" I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes. "I'm telling you that I don't want to be with you. I never loved you, I pretended the whole time we were together. All of those moments we spent together was me being with you in pity so you wouldn't feel embarrassed that no one will ever love you," I manage to speak.

"I don't understand. Why are you being like this? You were so sincere, I..." He wiped away the tear falling down his cheek. "I was wrong about you. I thought you were different. That you actually cared. Though now I see how disgusting and vile you are. Don't ever speak to me again Taehyung. In fact, never show your face to me. I can't bare to witness such an ugly being, mentally and physically." He pushed me to the ground as he walked past me.

There I lay in the sand, wishing I was dead. Jimin used to despise me in the beginning of the year, and got annoyed at my immature behavior, but every comment he ever spoke wasn't as damaging as those. He had never insulted my physical appearance, because he knew how self conscious I was. He also loved me so much I thought he would still never say those things even if I loved myself. 

Tears fell from my eyes. All the memories here we shared together were all destroyed by the words I said. I'm so sorry Jimin. I wish that one day you'll find someone who loves you more than you love yourself. Please forget all about me, especially the pain I caused you. 

When I walk into my house I see my appa standing over my eomma's body that's seeping with blood. "You're next." He simply stated as he slammed me against the wall and began to strangle me. 

My life flashes before my eyes. All I can see is the look of disgust that Jimin showed me before pushing me to the ground. I deserved that. I'm so glad that I had the chance to meet him. He made me smile, he gave me confidence, he made me feel like my life was amazing. I could do anything with him by my side.

Now I'm in my house, having my windpipes being crushed by my own appa. I'm sorry Namjoon for making you endure all that pain with appa while we were growing up. Jungkook, I hope you find the love of your life like I did. Eomma, I hope you live. Jimin, my everything, I hope that one day you'd forgive me.

"Any last words?" he squeezed my neck harder. I was feeling lightheaded. I notice that my back pocket still had the house key inside of it. I slip my hand into my pocket and pull it out. I managed enough strength to jab him in the stomach with the sharp end.

He let go of me and held onto his stomach and pain. Thank god that worked. I ran away from him and grabbed the fire extinguisher next to the kitchen. I approached behind him and hit him upside the head with the extinguisher. 

He turned around with a large bruise on his forehead. "You bitch!" He tried to hit me again but I dodge his hand and began to hit him repeatedly. I didn't mean to go that far, but all of my anger stored and hidden away for the sake of eomma all came out at this moment.

He laid on the floor with blood gushing out of him. I checked his pulse. Fuck, what did I do? Did I just killed my appa?

I backed away from him in shock and remembered that eomma was hurt.  
I made my way to her. She was still laying on the floor. "I'm gonna call 911, just hold on a little bit longer." I caress her face gently. Her warmth was fading. 

After I called the ambulance I ran my fingers through my hair in disbelief. I had caused all of this. I'm such a monster. I began to sob uncontrollably. 

"I need help eomma. I have a feeling that suicide is the only way out of my misery. I don't want to die, so please tell me what to do to ease my pain," I begged.

There was no answer. Her breathing had become so faint that it was barely audible. Please live, I need you eomma.


	18. Forever Regretting pt.3

Jimin's POV 

I lay in my bed, my eyes swollen from all my crying. I get up when my alarm goes off. I have an exam today so I have to go to school, even if I don't want to see Taehyung today.

I put on a random outfit and head out the door without having breakfast. I pass the beach on my walk to school. Of all places, he had to break up with me at that special place. It was such a good hang out spot too. Now I have to avoid it all costs.

When I went into the classroom I didn't see Taehyung there. He was always so early, was something wrong? Wait, why do I care about that bitch? He broke my heart, he can die in a ditch for all I care. Though I still go over to Jungkook to ask him where he is.

"I don't know. He hasn't messaged me at all today or yesterday. That's really strange. I can go over to his house this afternoon. Do you want to come with me?" he wondered. "No thanks," I reply. 

I sit down in my seat and worry all day where he is. I know he broke my heart and I hate him, but I can't help be concerned. Not even Jungkook has heard from him, and he's closer than I ever was with Taehyung.

Taehyung's POV 

"You're not going to be charged with murderer since it was just self defense. From what we could tell from Seo Ah's test results she had some broken ribs before she came to the hospital last night. You also had been in the hospital two days before this occurred because of blood loss. He abused you, didn't he?" the officer asked. 

"It first started when I around six. He used to threaten me that he'd kill my eomma if I told anyone or did anything he didn't like. He saw me doing something that wasn't right in his eyes and he almost killed me along with my eomma. He was a psychopath," I told him.

"I see. At least he's gone now. Hopefully your eomma will recover soon. You can go see her now. Get checked out by a doctor too. Your neck looks bruised," he says. 

"Yes sir, have a good rest of your day," I said before I left. "You too," he answers.

I see my eomma laying in a hospital bed. The doctors say she's in a coma. They don't know when she'll wake up and that scares me. I need her.

Namjoon walks into the room. I guess the hospital called him. "Tae, you're okay!" He embraced me. "Yeah." I wrap my arms around him and feel safe.

"I heard what happened to appa. Are you okay?" he questioned. I furrowed my eyebrows and buried my face in his chest. "I'm not. I just killed my appa! I'm a murderer," I sobbed.

"You're not a murderer, you just hit him too many times on accident. It was just self defense. There's no way you'd hurt anyone on purpose," he reassured me.

"I love you Tae. I'm always here for you if you need me. You should move in with me. You can make up the exams in the summer. You just need to get away from Busan," he said.

"I know and I'll stay with you. There's nothing here for me anymore," I tell him. "Not even Jimin?" he asked. 

"No, he hates me now. Now I need to not look back," I answer. "Good. I'll go get your stuff from home. Stay here and look after eomma," he spoke. I nodded and sat next to eomma. 

I need to move on, starting with Busan and all of memories here. I'll finally achieve my dream of becoming a singer.

A week passes and I'm all ready to leave Busan. My eomma is still in a coma, but they say her health is improving and she should wake up soon. Jungkook is with me near Namjoon's car. 

"I'll miss you hyung. Don't do anything reckless again. If you ever need an old friend I'll be here waiting for you. Call me every night, or I'll blow up your phone," he threatened.

"I'll call you, I promise. Have a nice summer vacation. If I'm ever in Busan again I'll meet up with you. Don't grow up too much while I'm gone," I say.

"No guarantees," he replies. I hugged him one last time. "I love you Kookie," I tell him. "I love you too hyung," he answers.

I get into the car and wave goodbye out the window. I see him in the rear view mirror still standing there and crying. I miss him already. I also miss Jimin. It hurts so much, but now that I killed my appa that makes me have to leave my Chimchim behind. I really hope one day he'd forgive me.

Jimin's POV 

I hadn't seen him in school at all. He missed several exams, which isn't like him. Did something bad happen to him? It's a week before the school closes, will he be here before then?

I pass Jungkook as I'm walking home. I notice that he's crying like it's the end of the world. I went over to him to see if he was okay. "Jungkook, are you okay?" I asked in concern.

"Tae just left," he cried. "Why did he leave? School isn't finished yet," I wondered. 

"His family is going through a hard time right now. He's moving away from Busan and living with his brother. It was too much for him to stay here. He said moving away from all the memories will help him. I really miss him though," he says.

"I never knew that. He didn't tell me." Once I muttered those very words I noticed that I wasn't a part of his life anymore. I'll never be ever again. Taehyung doesn't love me. He said that right to my face, yet I still couldn't accept that. 

I have to let him go. I need to in order to move on. I need to forget about him and experience life by myself. I don't need anyone but myself to be happy. I'll be a successful actor and show Taehyung that I didn't need him. I'll show him that I no longer love him.

Taehyung's POV 

"I still think you need to improve. You're a great singer and a good dancer. Really, I mean it. Though you can't only be good, you have to be a legend. You have to be so famous everyone will know your name. In order to do that, I'm sending you to America for the rest of your training," he said.

"That would be amazing Mr. Bang," I reply. "Now that you agree, all you have to do is come back worldwide famous. Do that and you'll become rich," he guaranteed.

"Then, what am I waiting for? Send me to America tonight," I told him impatiently. "I'll book you a flight for 8:30. Enjoy America and send me a postcard," he requested. "I will, I promise."

Six years later...  
(Present Day)

"The photo shoot is in Busan. Can you make in time?" Mr. Bang asked in a panic. "Don't worry sir, I can make it. I just landed in Ulsan. Though I have an appointment I have to attend to right now. I'll see you at 3:00," I answer. "Thank you Taehyung. I can always count on you," he praised me. "No problem," I said.

I hung up after saying goodbye. I got into the van and Minho, my manager, put my luggage in the back. He takes me to my hotel. Once I arrive there I take my stuff and check into my room.

I unlock the door and enter my room. I place my bag on the bed and take out a change of clothes. I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

After I clean myself thoroughly, I get dressed. I put on a dark blue sweater along with light blue ripped jeans and black converse. I put on a mask and sunglasses over my face before going out in public. I see Minho outside waiting for me.

...

He dropped me off at my therapist. "I'll be here waiting for you when you're done," he informed me. "Okay, I'll see you later," I waved goodbye.

I entered the huge building. I check in at the front desk. "I'm here for Mr. Choi, I'm his 1:40 appointment," I told the receptionist. "He'll be with you shortly. You also need to fill out these forms," she handed me a clipboard. I grab it and take a seat in the waiting room.

I fill all of it out and take it back up to the front desk. She takes it from and I sit back down. After awhile I see Mr. Choi standing at the door to his office. "Hello, Taehyung. It's nice too see you today," he tells me sweetly. I walk into his office and take a seat on the leather upholstered chairs. 

"You can drop the formalities," I said. "I know. I'm only being formal to you in front of my colleagues. Now that we're in here I can cuss you out all day," he joked.

"I'd actually like to see that. That way you'd get fired," I laughed. "If I got fired you'd have to find some other therapist. You told me you hate everyone in this building, but I'm the only one you can stand the most. If I'm gone, you'll have no one to talk to about your depression or prescribe you meds," he made a point.

"Fine, I guess you are okay, only at your job though. You can suck a dick for all I care." 

Mr. Choi rolled his eyes at me. "What a mature thing to say," he stated sarcastically. "I know, I'm the best a being a mature young man," I winked.

"Let's get started," he arranged his stack of papers in front of him. "How has your new medication been working?" he asked. "Not well, I still have the night terrors. I also am starting to see things when I close my eyes. Like my appa covered in blood. It just makes me have more anxiety," I tell him.

"I see. How have your relationships been recently? Did you have any fights with your friends or family members? How's your love life?" he asks suddenly. 

"My relationships are fine. The last time I had a serious fight with someone outside my family was with Jimin. He was very special to me, but I screwed things up with him. He hates me. Though that happened six years ago. I haven't spoken to him since. I really broke his heart and I feel so guilty," I recalled.

"Maybe that's your problem. You're running away from your past when you should be facing it. Make amends with this boy. Visit your eomma. You're back in Korea and Busan isn't that far from here, just about 30 minutes. You could improve your mental state today," he advised.

"I am going to photo shoot in Busan," I bring up. "See, fate has decided that you should make up for your mistakes," he tells me. 

"It's not that easy. I'm scared to face him again. I told him that I would never leave him and I broke my promise. I crushed his heart into a million tiny pieces. How can I just ask for forgiveness when I've caused so much pain?" I asked.

"It's only difficult if you make it. Now go apologize today or I won't prescribe any medication for you," he forced me. "I hate you," I pouted. "The feeling is mutual. Now get out my office before you contaminate the place," he said.

I stormed out of his office pissed off at him. I didn't miss him one bit. That son of a motherless goat! I went outside and into the car and crossed my arms in annoyance. 

"Did Mr. Choi aggravate you again?" he asked. "Yeah, he's a dick. He said he said he wouldn't give me medication if I didn't apologize to someone I haven't seen in six years! Then he told me I was contaminating his office," I fumed.

"Whenever you guys get together you both always act like children. You're 23 now. You need to stop have these silly fights with him," Minho says.

"I know, but he's just so infuriating and old. I guess people in their 40s and millenniums don't mix," I realized. He chuckled and began to start the car. 

"Now to Busan for the photo shoot," I mention. "Isn't Busan your hometown?" he wondered.

I sighed. "Yeah and I wish it wasn't. At least I'll get to visit my friend Jungkook and my eomma. They're the only ones who I know still live there," I reply.

"Well I'll drive you to their houses after the photo shoot," he offered. "Thanks, this is why you're my favorite person at the company," I tell him. He just grins and continues to look at the road.

Once we arrive Minho escorts me inside. I call my eomma to tell her that I'm seeing after my work is done. When I turn off my phone I swear I feel like there was someone familiar that I passed by. I shrug it off and make my way to the back of the studio where the wardrobe is.

I get into my new outfit and after they apply some makeup to my face. Once I'm all ready to model for the camera crew, I go to the front of the studio. Minho grabs me a water bottle and I thank him. 

Mr. Bang goes over to me with a look of sheer excitement. "Taehyung, you're finally back," he smiled. "Mr. Bang, you're looking fabulous like always. Did you get a new haircut? You look like you got a glow up," I showered him with compliments.

"Well, I did try this new skin care lotion," he mentioned. "Oh really? Keep using it because it makes you look very luminous," I say. "I will," he looked proud of himself.

"Stop flaunting that you're his favorite. I think the staff is are probably badmouthing you right now," he observed. 

"They shouldn't, I just saved all their asses from being yelled at because of his stress. Did you notice how one of the new recruits haven't shown up yet? Mr. Bang looked like he was going to go off. I was just giving him compliments to calm him down. 

"Now for the rest of the day, he's going to be so happy that he won't care about anything that stands in his way. I've been with this man and company for 5 years. I know how to improve everyone's mood," I bragged.

"If only you knew how to improve your own," he exhaled deeply. "True that," I answer. 

"Everyone gather around," Mr. Bang announced. "We're also going to have to have a photo shoot along with an acting company who'll have many people taking pictures today. So please welcome them and represent our company well," he reminded us.

"All participants in the shoot, line up," one of the guys from the camera crew tells us. "Bye," I whisper to Minho before going to line up.

As I stand in line my eyes notice a certain short boy with black hair. Once he looks up from his phone our eyes make contact.

I couldn't believe it when I saw him. His pale face that always sparkled. His adorable rosy cheeks. That smile that made me fall for him. My heart was beating the same way it had six years ago. I should let him go, forget about him. After all, we didn't end things well back then. He probably hates me. Though why, knowing I'll never have a chance with him, am I still so hopeful like I was back then?

It was my Chimchim here right now that made my heart melt. "Park Jimin, it's been awhile, hasn't it?"   
___________________________

It's finally back to the present! I'm really sorry for making the past three chapters so messed up. Now it's gonna be a bit more fluffy like it used to be. I added Minho for all those shinee fans. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Sorry about the long wait for the next chapter. I purple you!!!💜


	19. Tempting

Jimin's POV

When I saw him he stared at me as if I were a ghost. Like I had completely fallen off the face of the earth. I was a bit surprised too, though I wasn't overjoyed. Seeing him had brought back painful memories. Ones that I wish I could forget. Even so, I was still drawn to him. My head is saying stay away, but my heart is beating like a symphony of drums. 

When will you learn Park Jimin? Kim Taehyung has hurt you so much. My eyes met with his, and in that moment everything melted away. All that pain didn't matter anymore. Stupid Taehyung.

His shocked expression turned into a devilish smirk. "Park Jimin, it's been awhile, hasn't it?" I wasn't expecting those words from his mouth. He sounded so confident, and not like his soft hidden voice like back then.

"What are you doing here?" I asked coldly. "I should ask you the same thing. Though, like the gentleman I am, I will answer your question first." He crossed his arms sassily and cleared his throat.

"I'm the famous V, a worldwide icon for my music production. Basically I'm saying that I'm a really popular Kpop artist. I'm surprised you haven't heard of me, or at least seen me on T.V.," he told me.

"Sorry that I don't follow you around like one of your so called 'fans'," I shot back. 

"I see, you still hold a grudge against me. I understand, I was a jerk to you. That's an understatement. I crushed your heart. I have no excuse. So why don't you just get it out of your system and scream truthful responses to me," he offered.

"Sorry, but I might have to do that later. I'm kinda working right now," I reminded him. 

I glared at him coldly. "By the way, I wouldn't want to waste my breath shouting at someone who means nothing to me," I scoffed.

Tae stood there with a slightly disappointed grin. "Well then, it was nice to see you again. I hope your acting career is very successful. Goodbye," he waved.

He moved up in the line, getting away from me. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty for being so rude. I know I shouldn't, he isn't a part of my life anymore. He doesn't need me. He left me like everyone else. 

I should've yelled at him at the top of my lungs. I know that would heal my pain easily. If I cried and shouted at him, showing him how much mental corruption I have because of him, would I feel better? 

He's so different now. He's honestly more himself. I'm glad he finally got rid of that whole "perfect" facade. He's just Taehyung now.

I need to stop thinking about him! I was so close to erasing him from my mind. Now he just showed up out of the blue, and making my life even more of a mess. I need to move on, especially from everything and everyone in my past.

"Next," the photographer announced. Taehyung made his way in front of the green screen. One of the make up artist came up to him and touched up his lipstick.

They moved him to get in within the right angle. He posed for the camera. The palm of his hand was on the back of his neck. He bit his lip softly while raising one of his eyebrows seductively.

After a while he shifted his position. He ran his hand through his hair while winking at the camera. Then he showed that old boxy smile I missed while forming a heart with his index finger and thumb.

He went off the platform and sat down on a chair while chugging a bottle of water. Damn, even when drinking water he still looks like a god.

Taehyung's POV 

I don't know why I expected Jimin to suddenly forgive me. I was such a bitch leaving like that. Though, what else was I supposed to do in a situation like that?

At least, Jimin has achieved his dream of becoming an actor. I'm still depressed that I can't celebrate that success with him. 

Before everything happened with my appa, I had dreamed of a beautiful future with Jimin. He'd one day be a famous actor and I'd be a singer. We would complain about how exhausted we were from our jobs, and laugh about the good things of it.

Everywhere I looked Jimin would be there. Though I shouldn't use past tense. That feeling never disappeared. I have a guess it won't for a while.

I didn't stay around any longer. I didn't even stay to watch Jimin's photos being taken. It has been years ever since I broke up with Jimin, but it was like it happened yesterday. All these old buried emotions just started to come back. 

I can't deal with this pain anymore. I went over to Minho in desperation. "Please take me home."

He pulled me aside in concern. "Taehyung, what's wrong? Something is up, and when you're alone you just feel worse. So stop distancing yourself from me, and speak of all your troubles," he forced me.

"I just need my medicine. I need to take it right now. I forgot to bring it with me and I missed a dose." I breathed heavily from all the hyperventilating.

"Hey, calm down. I'll drive to your hotel and pick up your medicine for you. You need to stay a little longer. Mr. Bang has important news for the company and you can't miss it," he informs me. 

"M-Minho, I c-can't stay any longer. I don't think I can be stable enough to be seen by the whole company," I say.

"Don't worry about the company. Just sit down and drink some water. Eat some food too. Your blood sugar could be low," he orders.

I nod and sit down on one of the chair in the back of the studio. Minho grabs me a water bottle and some chips. I take them from him, mutter a thank you, and watch him leave.

I eat the chips while staring at my phone. My thumb is hovering over the contact's dial. I was about to press it when I notice someone entering the room. 

I keep my head down, avoiding the boy who walked in. Of course it was Jimin of all the hundreds of people working in this studio right now. 

I quickly eat my chips to avoid the heaviness in my throat. The guilt festering through my veins.

I see Jimin bowing to one of the employees here in appreciation. He slows down when he walks by me. 

I remember he acted distant towards me, exactly like this when we first met. He slowly started to warm up to me when we kept on meeting in such unfortunate places.

I even ran after him in that frigid rain. I remember that cute, innocent sneeze I heard when he caught a cold at my house. I even slept next to him. When his arms were wrapped around me, I just felt complete.

Ever since that moment we just got closer. I even tried to kiss him that morning. Though the best part about those distant days was when he told me he accepted me. I had an abusive appa, a hyung who was kicked out for being gay, and I had so much self doubt. Yet he gave me his whole heart willingly.

If it weren't for my worry to make everyone like me, to make him think I was perfect, I would've never met the love of my life. Just being reckless and running after him with a single umbrella for the both of us, made everything change. 

In order to do that, I had to take the chance of knowing that I might've been rejected. In fact, I had been rejected the first time I interacted with him. I still was attracted to him, even though his rude demeanor might scare people off.

Fuck my depression, I have to be with him. I want to be a part of his life, even if I'm viewed as his enemy. 'Cause I've realized that I had been rejected by Jimin much before he loved me.

I can handle this like back then, right? I mean, no one can resist me for that long. If it's not lust, it's the annoyance of me bothering them so much, that they hang out with me just to make me shut up.

It's a certain talent I have. I just hope it might work on Jimin. Sometimes I know him better than himself. I'm sure he misses me too. He just won't admit that because he's scared of loving me again.

I get up from my chair and chase after Jimin in a hurry. I catch up to him and grab his wrist. He looked at me with wide eyes. 

"I'm sorry," I gasp for air after all my running. "Why are you apologizing? It's not like you cared about my feelings anyway. If you don't remember, you said you dated me out of fucking pity," his voice wavered.

"If only you knew the real reason behind all of that. I never meant to hurt you," I say. My eyes were glued to the floor. 

"Just know, that I want to be your friend. I know that's such a stupid request, but I really hope you can forgive me one day. Until you do, I will become the most constant appearance in your life, exactly like back then. I promise that now you'll never be able to get rid of me. So you don't have to worry anymore."

He escaped my grip and glared at me in disgust. "You told me that exactly before we broke up. What could possibly be different? I'm not the young naive boy I used to be Taehyung. So stop trying and leave me alone. I want to have nothing to do with you," he replied.

"You don't understand I-" I heard a loud megaphone call out for all the people in my company to meet up. Jimin stole this opportunity and quickly ran off.

I sighed at Mr. Bang for doing an announcement at the worst time possible. I made my way to the center of the studio. I saw Minho there with my medicine. I met up with him and quickly grabbed the prescription.

I went into the bathroom and took the pill so I'd be shielded from all my employees and the photographers. If they knew about my extreme depression, and all the meds I'm taking, let's just say they'd have the best day of their lives with that reputation destroyer.

I feel the thick pills slide down my throat as I wash it down with water. I exhale deeply to calm myself and splash my face with water. Hopefully, I'll be okay for now.

I walk back into the studio and stay near Minho's side. Mr. Bang grabs the megaphone and makes his "big important speech".

"As you all know, or most of you at least, that our shining star, Kim Taehyung is back!" I heard a few cheers from the crowd and blushed slightly.

"His new album has sold over 3 billion copies world wide. I'm so glad we adopted this boy into the company, and we want to celebrate your success. So I personally made sure this shoot was in Busan so you could be close to your family," he mentioned.

Oh, so he's the one behind all of this. Maybe fate isn't that cruel, just the fabulous Mr. Bang.

"Thank you so much Taehyung for always working so hard. All of your accomplishments have paid off. Everyone, let's have a hand for our favorite idol," he suggests.

Everyone was clapping and cheering for me. I like attention, but not when they all praise me like this. I guess I'm just too modest sometimes.

"No need to thank me. If it weren't for the make up crew, the wardrobe, and Mr. Bang, my success wouldn't be achievable," I bowed in gratitude.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "I have great news, Taehyung. I think I need to take your career to the next level. I decided you were going to act in a drama with Kim Taeyeon, Park Hyungsik, Lee hyun Woo, and Park Jimin," he informed me.

"Park Jimin?" I muttered in disbelief to myself. "I know how great you are expressing yourself in song. Just imagine how you'd be on a silver screen," he marveled.

"I'll try my best Mr. Bang. I've never acted before, though I'll try my best not to disappoint!" I tell him in determination.

"That's why you're the best in this company. I have faith you will succeed in this. Then your fame will boost even more. You'll move up from millionaire to billionaire in just a few months. Fighting!" He held a fist in the air triumphantly.

I grinned and replied another "fighting" to him as well. He walked away and the rest of the company returned to their jobs.

I stood there in satisfaction. Park Jimin, we still can't stay apart from each other, huh? I have a feeling that these few months are going to be quite entertaining.


	20. Promise

Jimin's POV

 

I got some coffee on the way to work and blasted the music in the car to wake me up. As I'm flipping through the channels on the radio I hear a familiar voice.

 

_

 

A sound of something breaking

I awake from sleep

A sound full of unfamiliarity

Try to cover my ears but can't go to sleep

 

The pain in my throat gets worse

Try to cover it

I don't have a voice

Today I hear that sound again

 

It's ringing again, that sound

A crack again on this frozen lake

I dumped myself into the lake

I buried my voice for you

Over the winter lake I was thrown

 

A thick ice has formed atop

A winter lake on which I was thrown away

A thick ice has formed

In the dream I shortly went into

My agonizing phantom pain is still the same

Have I lost myself

 

Or have I gained you

I suddenly run to the lake

There's my face in it

Please don't say anything

 

Reach my hand out to cover the mouth

But in the end, spring will come someday

The ice will melt and flow away

Tell me if my voice isn't real

 

If I shouldn't have thrown myself away

Tell me if even this pain isn't real

What I was supposed to do back then

 

_

 

His low and soft voice, almost like whisper, sent shivers down my spine. Damn, that boy can sing like it's nothing. Does he want people to die of his sexiness?

 

Wait what am I thinking? He hurt me so much, I can’t think he’s attractive. Though thinking back to him a few days ago it was rather strange… _"It's more complicated than that."_ What did he mean?

 

He did what he did, and I hate him for it. If he regrets it so much than he never had to break up with me. That bitch trying to play innocent. I was hurt more than him, definitely. Though of course everyone only cares about Taehyung's side of the story.

 

I mute the radio, done with Taehyung. People still have that obsession of him, like he's a god. Yeah he's a great guy sometimes, but he never fulfills his promises. I can't ever trust him again.

 

I pull my car up to the parking lot of the company I work at. I get out of the car and walk in. I take off my shades once I enter the building.

 

I go to the sub units outside and went into the studio were all of our equipment is. I see Mr. Min, the director of the Kdrama I recently got casted for.

 

"Good morning," I greet him. "Mr. Park, it's an honor to be working with such a talented actor. The script and storyline is amazing. I have a feeling this new show will be a hit. Especially since we have a special guest joining us for the show," he says.

 

I tilt my head in curiosity. "What special guest?" I question. "That Kpop sensation, Kim Taehyung I think. His manager, Mr. Bang contacted me a few months ago about including him. I don't know how, but somehow he finds out about all of our new dramas before we even finish the script. He's honestly the craziest person I've ever met," he sighs.

 

"Nice to see you again too," that guy, Mr. Bang comes up behind him. "This is exactly what I'm talking about," he flinched.

 

"Taehyung is going over the script right now. How about we do a run of it with the script and see how it goes from there?” Mr. Bang suggests.

 

"I guess that's okay," he replies. "I'm counting on you to make my greatest success have an even better reputation. Don't screw up on your directing," he warned.

 

"I won't. Make sure to tell your so called 'success' to act well. He's one of the main roles. We're counting on him to create the film we've imagined," he said.

 

"Taehyung is already aware of what to do. Trust me, the role suits him well. That's why I'm making sure you're in check. Now I have to go back to my company to observe the trainees. That man over there, Choi Minho is my fill in. Don't call me while I'm away unless anyone from my company is injured."

 

He walked away quickly. He looked so conceited. Maybe that's why Taehyung and him get along so well.

 

"Jimin, here's the script. We'll go over it in a 15 minutes," he handed me a think stack of paper for the first episode.

 

I looked over it and highlighted all my lines. I read over to them and mutter them to myself. The script and storyline looked interesting.

 

There were 5 people in the main cast. Park Hyungsik, Lee Hyun Woo, Taehyung, and I were all good friends in the show. Suddenly the female lead, Taeyeon, who used to be our friend in high school, comes back to Busan for a new job.

 

We experience our old memories again and start to get stuck in the past. The male lead, Taehyung falls for Taeyeon again like he did in high school. Yet Taeyeon has feelings for my character. This story portrays letting go, young love, change, and the act of being yourself.

 

This whole plot seems very emotional. I have to fight Taehyung over a girl too. I'm not looking forward to working with him. I especially don't want to pretend to be his friend.

 

"We're going over lines now," Mr. Min announces. Everyone gathers to the center of the studio with their scripts. Taehyung is standing across from me with his face in the script.

 

"The first scene opens with Taeyeon getting off the plane. Then the sign in the airport says 'Welcome to Busan'. This is basically just implying she's finally back in her hometown.

 

"The next scene is with Jimin and Taehyung hanging out at their house because they're roommates. As you suspect it will cause some tension later when Taeyeon arrives."

 

Great, I have to live with that crackhead. He continues to talk about the different scenes throughout the episode. After a while we get dismissed to leave and practice the script at home.

 

Taehyung glances over at me but I scoff and walk away from him. Why can't he just stay away from me? Is it too much to ask for some space from my ex?

 

Taehyung's POV

 

I understand Jimin hates me. So I don't run after him. Though all thanks to this script I might obtain my chance to reconnect with him. I just hope, he can forgive me one day.

 

Minho comes up from behind me. "You have to attend dinner at your eomma's. You can sulk in the car on the way to her house," he says.

 

"I'm not sulking," I get all defensive. "This I what people call 'being in denial'. It's a serious side effect of human truth," he states.

 

I roll my eyes at him in annoyance. "Let's just go already," I pouted.

 

...

 

Once we arrive, I feel sick. I'm going to have to face my past, my biggest fear. My eomma moved away from our old house, but it still didn't take away the memories.

 

I walk up the stairs and onto her porch. I brace myself and knock on the door. Minho puts his hand on my shoulder reassuringly as we wait for the door to open.

 

A few seconds later I see my eomma with a grin on her face. She embraces me so tightly it became hard to breathe.

 

"My V, I missed you so much. How come you barely visit me anymore? I'm still alive you know. I only ever see Joonie these days," she rants.

 

"You know how busy I am. I just have more flexible time today. I'm sorry," I reply.

 

"I could never stay mad at my baby," her expression softened. She opens the door and invites us into the house.

 

"Who is this?" eomma turns to Minho. "Sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I'm Choi Minho, Taehyung's manager."

 

He bows politely and eomma looks pleased. "It's nice to meet you. I hope Tae hasn't caused you much trouble over the years," she said.

 

"No, not that much. Except when he wakes me up in the middle of the night to get snacks," he turns to me with raised eyebrows.

 

"I'm a hungry person. I never know when I need to get snacks. I just call you because you're my friend and I also pay you," I mention.

 

"I don't know how you don't gain weight with how much you eat?" he wonders. "I work out," I show off my arm muscles.

 

They both laugh at me and I furrow my eyebrows. "You guys are so mean," I mutter. "Aw, I'm sorry." Eomma ruffled my hair.

 

We sit down at the table. The doorbell rings and eomma runs to the door. I see Joonie, Jin, and...Kookie!

 

I run over to him and hug him in excitement. "Hyung, you're crushing me!" he complains.

 

I let go of him and pat his head softly. "Sorry Kookie. I was just so happy to see you again," I tell him sheepishly.

 

"Wow Tae, I feel abandoned." Namjoon puts his hand over his chest dramatically. "I didn't forget about you Joonie." I go over to hug him too.

 

We all greet each other and eventually sit down. We eat our meals without a sound until Joonie breaks the silence.

 

"So are you and Minho dating?" he asks me. My eyes widen in shock and I suddenly choke on my water. Minho starts to laugh hysterically.

 

"Me? Dating with Taehyung? That's hilarious. There's no way I could date him. He's too much to deal with. He can't do anything for himself," he says.

 

I punch him in the arm. "Why are you laughing like this? I'm not that bad," I fumed.

 

"I never said you're bad. I just can't imagine myself dating you. I think I'd rather stay with my role of manager," he answers.

 

"How's being his manager?" Joonie asked. "Tiring," he simply said. "I pity you. I've already dealt with him for 23 years. It's not easy," he sighed.

 

"Guys, stop talking bad about me. I'm right here. I'm sorry I'm such a handful. I can't help it that I need extra attention," I comment. "That's why you have me," Minho grinned.

 

...

 

We finish our meal and converse with each other, reminiscing. Jungkook pulls me aside and we hang out by ourselves outside on the porch.

 

"How are you really?" he wonders. My smile fades and I become serious. I place my hands on the railings the porch and exhale deeply. "Not great. My depression, the dreams have been getting worse. The medicine isn't even working anymore.

 

"I'm worried that I can never be happy again. I'm tired of faking my smiles all the time. Jungkook sometimes I wish I could've died that day. Even when I get help and go to all these support groups, that fear is still there. I still want to hurt myself," I spoke openly.

 

Jungkook wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry I never knew. I could've been a more supportive friend. I could've prevented all those things from happening," he whispers into my ear.

 

"I told Jimin about my appa. Though that all still happened. He wanted to stop it as much as you, but we can't stop the inevitable from coming," I reassure him.

 

"Please try and keep going, for me. I'm too weak and I need you to survive. If you ever need someone, I'm here for you. Don't let your appa win. This trauma, and all the scars that have developed from it, will heal one day. You just have to approach it one day at a time," he advised.

 

"Thank you, Kookie. This is why I love you," I told him. "No problem hyung."

 

...

 

When Minho is driving I request him to make a stop. I smile as I gaze upon the familiar scenery through the window. I get out of the car and walk onto the sand of the beach.

 

I missed this hangout spot. I'm waiting for you Jimin, just like I said I would. It's just a bit different of how we imagined. Though I never really did leave you that day. I still thought about you as much as I did when we were still together.

 

I don't know why I wish you were standing here. I know it will never happen. I had set my hopes too high. You still will never learn, Taehyung. No matter how hard I try, I still can't get him to forgive me.

 

My eyes start to water remembering the old memories here. I quickly wipe them away and force myself to leave this place. I need to move on, and get ready for work tomorrow. I have to be strong for Jungkook.

 

...

 

The next morning I went into the filming studio all ready for today. I drank some water from my water bottle and sat next to Minho until we started. I had memorized every single line on that script last night even if it wasn't my own.

 

"Okay, were going to start to film scene one. Taehyung, Jimin, get ready to be up next," Mr. Min told us. I nodded and Jimin gave him a thumbs up.

 

Minho came up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. "Chill Taehyung, you're going to be great. You studied the script all night, you won't mess up. I have some phone calls I need to take care of. I'll be in the back if you need me. Hang in there. Fighting!" He put his fist in the air encouragingly.

 

"Fighting!" I held up my fist. I watched him leave and sighed. I sat back and watched the acting take place. Not later I saw Park Jimin taking a seat near me. He didn't make any eye contact, but he was there right next to me. This made my heart beat uncontrollably. Today, was finally going to be a good day.


	21. Goodbye…for now?

Taehyung's POV

 

"How is everything at your new job? The whole acting experience," Dr. Choi wondered.

 

"Good, more or less. I've been working with him, Park Jimin. We just happened to meet 6 years after the past. Fate can be hilarious sometimes. I didn't intend to meet him like you told me to, he just showed up a my photo shoot. He's finally achieved his dream of becoming an actor. I'm really happy for him," I mentioned.

 

"How did he react to seeing you again?" he asked. "Oh, he absolutely hates me. He's known for holding grudges. Though a few weeks ago he sat next to me and I felt complete. I think he might be slowly starting to forgive me. He has been talking to me more, it's only work related, but it's still an improvement!" I smiled.

 

"I see that you're smiling more. How has your depression been lately? Do you still have the night terrors?" he questioned.

 

"It's still occurring. There really is no cure for that kind of trauma, but I decided to just ignore it. When I try to face those problems head on, the nightmares get worse," I tell him.

 

"I see. Try to get closer with this old friend of yours. I have a feeling if you make amends, eventually these terrors will decrease," he advised.

 

"I'll try my best. Thank you," I say. "This boy has even got your attitude towards your elders improved. He must be a miracle worker," he speaks to himself.

 

"Hey, take that back you bastard. I don't have hearing issues like your old ass," I scoff.

 

"Though they don't last very long. You definitely need to spend more time with this boy. Therapist's orders," he demands.

 

I roll my eyes and get out of his office while flipping him off. "Fuck you," I mutter under my breath.

 

I get into the car and cross my arms in annoyance. "He got to you again, didn't he?" Minho guessed. "Yeah, he can go die in a hole for all I care. Though I hate to admit he was right about one thing," I pout.

 

Minho raised an eyebrow in interest. "I'm curious about this. You absolutely hate Dr. Choi, especially his opinions. You agreeing with him is something revolutionary," he exaggerates.

 

"He was right about Park Jimin," I answer. "What about him? He's only your colleague. Why were you talking about him?" he wondered.

 

"He was right that he improves my mood. He always has, ever since that first day we met. I hate to admit, that I haven't moved on from him one bit like I promised. I think I've just fallen for him more.

 

"Maybe it's the way he acts. Or the fact he's so cute without trying, but so sexy at the same time. His expressions, the way he laughs, the way his eyes sparkle. I've fallen hard Minho, and there's no way to stop myself," I speak.

 

"You're in love with Park Jimin? How come you haven't told me about him sooner? Are you guys dating secretly?" he bombarded me with questions.

 

"No we aren't. He hates me, but I'm in love with him. Though eventually he'll come back to me. He can't stay away, and neither can I. We know each other better than ourselves," I say before I get out of the car.

 

We're already at work and Minho looks so shook. He wants to ask more questions, I can feel it, but he keeps his mouth shut. He knows that we can never talk about my personal life in public. There could always be fans or news companies recording us.

 

I walk into the studio and set my stuff down by Minho. The makeup team works their magic and I change into my character's outfit.

 

I'm already to start acting. I see Jimin with his hair styled perfectly. He looks flawless, yet I remember when he had slept over at my house. He had messy hair and he was really out of it, but he still looked beautiful.

 

He lifted up his head from his phone and noticed how I was staring at him. I blushed and quickly averted my gaze.

 

We started to film and continued doing that for the rest of the day. It was exhausting but really fun. I enjoyed hanging out with the cast. We all really hit it off.

 

"Hey Taehyung, the whole cast and filming crew was going out for drinks later for the celebration of completing ten episodes. Do wanna join us?" Hyun Woo proposed.

 

"Sure, I'd love to come. Though is it okay if I bring along my manager? I kinda have to around him all the time, due to security and my company's orders. Though he's a really cool person and I'd think everyone would enjoy his company," I wonder.

 

"That would be fine. I'll text you the address. It starts at 7:00," he informs me. I nod in response.

 

I was so glad I got invited to something. I mean I am famous and stuff, and I get invited to parties and shows all the time, but this time I was genuinely wanted for more than my fame. They just treated me like a friend.

 

As my mind wandered toward the different scenarios of tonight, I realized that Jimin would also be there. Unless he might've skipped out. Though it's a celebration and acting means a lot to him. I'm sure he'll be there.

 

...

 

Minho drove me to a meeting where I was meeting Mr. Bang. Out the window, I saw that he was standing at the front holding my suit. Once I stepped out of the car I took it from his hands and bowed in gratitude.

 

"I'll change quickly, I promise," I guaranteed. Mr. Bang nodded and dismissed me to the restroom. I put on my suit behind the stall. I fixed my messy hair in the mirror and went out the door.

 

I caught up with Minho and Mr. Bang my quickening my pace. "Sorry for the delay. Thank you so much Mr. Bang for bringing me my suit. I won't let you down in the meeting," I say.

 

"It's no problem Taehyung," he answered humbly.

 

We turn once we enter through the doorway to the conference room. The pit of my stomach felt unsettled. I braced myself for seeing all the Kpop idols who all have so much more experience than me.

 

I take a seat next to Minho. I try to fix my posture and seem confident in this nerve wracking situation. It was the first thing that Mr. Bang talked about what I should improve for my public appearances.

 

This whole meeting was establishing what we were all focusing on next. Which mini albums should we collaborate on. Boring, basic company stuff that I had to endure twice around every five months. The next meeting after this was about a little over a month from now.

 

"Taehyung needs to produce another mini album. He also needs more collaborations." The head of another company demanded.

 

"Though he just finished his comeback. Lyrics take time to write," Mr. Bang defended me.

 

"Do you want more money off of him? I'm just suggesting you let some people from our companies produce some songs together. Preferably Taehyung since he's so successful. People will go crazy for his singles," he argued.

 

"He's already acting in a drama. That will boost his popularity enough. I can't over work my best client," he refused.

 

"So, make the director kill off his character," he shot back. That's when I saw Mr. Bang make a fist and his face turn red from anger.

 

Before he could cause more tension, I stopped him from yelling at the other company CEO.

 

"Sir, I'll collaborate with one of your artists. I can manage both the drama and the album at the same time," I compromised.

 

I was so good at making myself, but not others to suffer. Mr. Bang wanted to protest more, but he kept his mouth shut, respecting my decision.

 

He agreed and we shook hands on it. After we were all dismissed, Mr. Bang looked furious.

 

"Why would you just give in like that? I don't want this company looking weak. Plus, you can't overwork yourself. I won't allow you to exhaust and harm your wellbeing," he told me.

 

"I know, but I think I can handle it. Lyrics just seem to come to me naturally. Creating a mini album will be easy. The acting is also going well and the filming is almost over," I reassured him.

 

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, but don't come complaining to me when you're exhausted. I warned you," he turned to Minho. "Minho, make sure he stays healthy. We all know how helpless he is."

 

"Of course Mr. Bang," he bowed. I frowned at his comment. "What is that suppose to mean? I can take care of myself just fine," I insisted.

 

They both made eye contact at the same time and bursted into a fit of laughter. "You guys are so mean."

 

...

 

Minho drove me to the bar where the cast was meeting. I looked out in the window dazedly.

 

"Are you sure your going to be able to act and produce a mini album at the same time? I mean, you're already exhausted enough as it just being on set," he asked in concern.

 

"I'm sure I can do it. Whoever Mr. Bang choses for me from the other companies to collaborate with, I'm sure is going to be a great person. Don't worry about me constantly. I'm stronger than I look," I told him.

 

"Just be safe, I don't want you getting hurt more than you already have. You're my best friend Taehyung, and I hate to see you struggle." His voice had gotten so soft and fragile, that it almost might've broke.

 

"I wish you'd confide in me sometimes. You're so sweet and outgoing, though does anyone know what you're really feeling? I'm so scared that one day I'm not gonna be there to protect you. I'm not going to be able to comfort you. You never fully open up to me, so I don't know what to do or say. I just want to help you," he spoke.

 

"Minho, you already are a help. I only don't open up because I...well it's complicated. I just know I don't want to be a burden to anyone, especially not a friend like you. You do so much for me, I couldn't have gotten through all the years of my career without you," I said.

 

"You're definitely not a burden. I'd do all of those thing for you willingly," he replied.

 

I gushed and ruffled his hair. "Wow we both just got so soft. We should go inside the bar now."I finally notice that Minho had already brought us to our destination.

 

Minho nodded and we both got out of the car. I follow behind him as he enters the building. I see the cast already sitting around a table and wave at them.

 

They notice me and motion us toward their table. I go over them and sit down in one of the empty seats. Minho sits next to me and take of his coat while loosening his tie. He signals for the waitress. He orders a beer and I just get a water.

 

"You're not drinking tonight? We don't have work tomorrow, let loose Taehyung," Mr. Min tells him. "I actually have to work at my studio tomorrow," I inform him.

 

"That's too bad. I was looking forward to seeing a drunk Taehyung," Hyun Woo let's out a sad sigh. "You're not missing much. I usually just fall asleep after I get drunk," I mention.

 

I see Jimin lower his head once I try to make eye contact with him. My happy expression fades when I see him avoiding me. My heart stings and I feel like I'm getting sick.

 

Why is my depression taking over right now? I don't want to be sad, or have my time here ruined with my friends because of my messed up emotions.

 

I dismiss myself to the restroom and pull my medication from my pocket. I sallow a single pill and hear a notification that Minho texted me.

 

Minho👿💣

Are you feeling alright? Do you need me to drive you home early?

 

Tae Tae🤤😖😭

I'm fine, I just needed to take another dose of my medication. I'll be out in a while. Just enjoy yourself and don't worry about me. The cast is really excited to meet you, so make sure you converse with them.

 

Minho👿💣

Okay, but text me if you need anything.

 

Tae Tae🤤😖😭

Yes,  _eomma_.

 

I put away my phone and exhale deeply, trying to calm down. Once I manage to somewhat collect myself I notice Jimin walking out of the bar. 

 

"I'll be right back," I tell everyone. I follow him out and chase him down. Once I finally catch up to him I call his name. "Jimin."

 

He turns to see me there. He furrows his eyebrows. "What do you want?" he scowls.

 

Suddenly the sky darkens. The clouds get heavy and then it just gets worse. Thick raindrops pour from the clouds, piercing my skin. By the time I look at Jimin, he's already soaked completely from head to toe.

 

Seeing him in the rain like this, reminds me of back then. The level deja vu is almost scary. "I miss you," I say through the loud patter of raindrops.

 

He looks caught off guard with my comment. "I miss you with everything I have," I confess. Jimin makes his way over to me.

 

"Do you think it's that easy? You say you miss me and lonely and I'll suddenly forgive you? That's not how it works. I'm still hurt, and no matter what you tell me, it's not going to change anything.

 

"It was you who said all those things. You were the one who broke up with me, remember? It was your fault for giving me up in the first place. You can't just hope that a few silly words can change anything," he replies.

 

"I know and I'm sorry," I repeat. Jimin stares into my eyes as the cold rain still falls on us. All I can hear is cars passing and the water droplets hitting the pavement.

 

"Why did you leave me?" he asked. I paused for a while. "I-I didn't want you to get hurt by my appa," I cried.

 

"I should've known," he ran his fingers through his hair in irritation. "So you lied, about not loving me? You said all of that to keep me safe?" I nodded in response to his question.

 

"Stupid, you could've said something less hurtful to me. Then forgiving you wouldn't be so hard," he pouted. "I'll approach this...situation one step at a time. For know, let's just restart. Be friends, hang out, the simple things. Then I'll try to forgive and forget," he compromised.

 

"It's a deal," I agreed. "I have to go. There's a reason I left the bar. Goodbye," he waves. "Wait, Jimin," I go over to him and embrace him tightly. "It's only a goodbye for now. I'll never leave you again," I say.

 

"Goodbye...for now? That sounds comforting. You better not leave again, or I'll kill you," he threatened. I chuckled and agreed not to leave again.

 

I finally felt that euphoric feeling I thought had disappeared a long time ago. Maybe, he is the thing to finally heal my trauma.

 

As I waved goodbye to him I felt a shiver down my spine. I could feel a dark, familiar presence. I felt a pair of hands on my neck. My body froze in place. A loud burst of thunder shook the Earth.

 

My breathing became shaky. I turned my head to see the entity strangling me. I see my appa's psychotic gaze stare right at me. No, he's not really here. He died, he must be a figment of my imagination.

 

 _"Did you really think you could get rid of me? I'll always be there, everywhere you go. Especially when you see that faggot you're in love with. Don't forget, you made a deal with me that you_ _broke_. _So that means I'll forever haunt your life,"_ he whispered in my ear.

 

"No, no you're not here. You're not real. You're dead," I sobbed. _"If I'm not real, then why are you crying like this? If I'm not real, then walk away. If I'm not real, then release yourself from my grip."_

 

I didn't move, I was too petrified. _"I always knew you were weak. You were such a disappointment compared to your brother. You and I both know you're useless. So why don't you just end all this pain and die peacefully? Just save all this time and suffering and kill yourself."_

 

"No," I choked out,"I can't die yet. I promised Jimin I wouldn't leave him again. I can't leave eomma or Joonie alone either."

 

_"Then, I'm afraid you're stuck with me until you die. Get ready for your life to become a living hell."_


	22. Suffocating

Taehyung's POV

 

I tried to avoid my appa. If I faced him I'd paralyze. I was so terrified of him my whole life. I still am because I was the one who took his life, his own son. Maybe I'm guilty, that's why the trauma hasn't gone away.

 

Though of course he shows up again right after Jimin somewhat forgives me. I could see him everywhere I went before I became I singer. I suppose he just disappeared since music helped me through all my problems. Though he's back and haunting me again.

 

As I grab a water bottle from the fridge I feel his body towering over me. _"Good morning, murderer."_ I flinch as his voice rings throughout my ears.

 

I walk pass him and pick up my phone that's buzzing like crazy. I see that Minho is calling me again. I kinda just left the cast celebration last night without saying anything. I answer the phone.

 

"Hello," I say with guilt surrounding me. "What the hell were you thinking just up and leaving like that? I had to cover for you. It was embarrassing and a complete waste of my time," he vented.

 

"I'm sorry. I was going to go back into the bar but something came up. I have to cut this conversation short, I'm walking to the studio this morning to clear my head." I hung up before he could say anything else.

_"It's so unfair you know. I die a painful death, while my killer has no punishment. You can just walk around without torment. You honestly don't have what you deserve. People these days just face situations and avoid all consequences. It's very bothersome."_

He whispers in my ear as I walk down the sidewalk. I grip the ends of my sleeves, being filled with anxiety. I walk to the company and almost go into the sound room before someone stops me.

 

"Where were you? When you just hung up on me like that I thought something happened to you," Minho ranted.

 

I turn my head and grip the door handle tightly. "I told you that I was walking here, that I didn't need a ride. I don't understand why you're freaking out like this. I have to start working on my album right now. So please, just leave me alone," I requested.

 

Minho looks at me in alarm but Mr. Bang comes up behind him and nods his head, allowing me to get to work. I open the door to the sound room and grab a notebook. The moment I press the pencil against the paper lyrics flow out of me.

 

_You always did that_

_Neglected me, shaming me for being different_

_Why was I never enough for you?_

_I just wanted you to be proud of me_

_I wanted to make you smile_

_The old laughter has faded_

_The happy memories are replaced with tears_

_I wanted to share with you things that made me myself_

_Show you the real me_

_I thought everyday it would change_

_The imperfections you called out were actually art_

_I thought you'd embrace me tightly_

_Comfort me and ease the pain_

_I created the image you never became_

_I couldn't face the reality that you were disappointed_

_That I ignored the fact you shunned me my whole life_

_You weren't the role model I needed_

_I lowered my expectations_

_Dreamed of a you that would save me from myself_

_Though you did none of those things_

_You hurt me physically and mentally_

_My self doubt didn't show up from nowhere_

_The insults and the bruises_

_The long sleeve shirts in the hot summers_

_The tears that would_ form every night

_I loved you so why couldn't you do the same?_

_I was just a child then_

_I still am_

_I still await the day you greet me with open arms_

_I didn't mean to commit those crimes_

_I wanted to make you see I was worth something, anything_

_Though I made you disappear_

_I'm sorry, I truly am_

_Maybe one day you'll look at me with the inviting gaze I wished you had_

_I'll put up with all the hurt_

_The pain_

_The regret_

_The sorrow_

_Just to hope the day would come that you'd be proud to call me yours_

(Sorry for my shithead lyrics)

 

I wrote that for you appa, I really did. I just wanted you to notice how much I yearned to be recognized by you. I was just a lonely child who needed guidance from my appa. Though all I received was bruises and scars.

_"How disgusting. You think I actually cared about you? Who could care about a mess up like you? You are a disaster waiting to destroy the lives of everyone. You cause more pain than happiness. You're a burden to everyone. They're all so tired of your mental problems. It would be so much easier if you just gave up your life."_

 

I move over to the piano within the sound proof walls. I sit down on the bench and start playing the keys tenderly, trying to block out his piercing voice.

 

After that I add in the words and practice it a few times through. I record just the instrumental part of the song. Then I record myself singing to it into the mic while the tune plays through my headphones.

 

Once I'm done recording the whole song I place it on my hard drive. I place the USB onto Mr. Bang's desk. "The first song of my mini album is finished," I informed him.

 

"Already? Well, go ahead and play the track for me," he told me. I hook it up to his computer and he listens to it very closely.

 

He looks up at me in concern. "The lyrics are very deep and emotional. Are you sure you'd want to out this song to the public? People will ask you all sorts of questions. You couldn't possibly ignore answering any of them or people would get suspicious, and start digging. A private investigator could find out your secret.

 

"You couldn't afford for people to find out about what you did. Only you and I know about this, if word got out to the other companies your reputation could be destroyed. I enjoy the song, really I do, but would it be wise? Just think of the all the backlash," he said.

 

"I know, though I have to let it out in the public. People should know. Maybe not the outcome, the regret I have for messing things up. I would still like to tell my story, the unpleasant and the joyous parts. I want to show off my imperfections, as well as my struggles. That's the theme of my album, a trip to the past," I announced to him.

 

"If you insist on doing this, I suppose I support your decision. Just make sure this doesn't get out of hand," he warned. "I won't sir," I guaranteed.

 

...

 

The next day I got up to get ready for work. Today while filming I'm going to be acting in so many scenes. This is going to be so exhausting.

 

Minho waits for me outside and I get in the car. The drive is completely silent. He still hasn't forgiven me, I'm sure. He always gives me the silent treatment when he's majorly pissed off at me. Once he's cooled down he approaches me as if nothing happened. I just need to give him some space.

” _He doesn't love you, no one does. Who could ever love a man who killed his own appa? What would that boy Jimin think if he found out? He would be scared of you. He wouldn't want to be with a murderer. He'd leave you just like you did to him. Only this time, he would be genuinely leaving out of pure hatred."_

 

I slip on earbuds blasting music into my ears. Why can't he just leave me alone? Why is it so wrong that I'm different? Why did Namjoon never have to go through this trauma? Appa never loved me, he always loved Joonie more.

 

It was only when he came out to us that appa pushed him away like he always did toward me. Then I was supposed to be a replacement. He never loved me, he just wanted to me to be Joonie.

 

I remember that day. The day appa set up the arrangement of me being absolutely perfect to protect eomma. He didn't look at me like I was myself, he stared at me as if I was his first son. The one who was supposed to be a success but became a failure overnight all because he was attracted to the same gender.

 

I guess that's when I kinda started to resent Joonie. He never had it as hard as me. He was already loved from day one. I had to fight for attention because I was the youngest. Nothing I ever did amounted to his achievements. That's why I always tried my best to be noticed, it didn't matter who it was.

 

After he confessed he was gay, he never even called us. To check on us, see if appa didn't beat eomma to death yet. He just stayed with his boyfriend, going after the degree he wanted and wasn't forced into. He was so free, while I was stuck all alone cleaning up the mess he made.

 

Why did he ignore me all those years? Why couldn't he notice I was hurting? My whole family neglected me and I accepted it because I thought I could endure it. I thought it didn't bother me.

 

Then when Jimin showed me how to love someone else, I knew I didn't deserve all the negativity I was receiving. Love myself, I remember that's what Jimin told me to fulfill all those years ago. I tried, really, but it's so hard. I don't know the first step.

 

"Tae, we're here," he raised his voice so I'd hear through my earbuds. I take them out and walk into the large building. We go into the filming studio.

 

I set my stuff down near my chair on the set. I wish I could just disappear today. I want to hide away and never show my face again. Why did I agree to do this?

 

"Good morning Taehyung," Jimin sat next to me. "Good morning," I muttered. "You sound tired. How late did you stay up last night?" he asked.

 

"Uh, 3:00 a.m.," I said sheepishly. He lets out a long, exasperated sigh. "How is your acting going to be any good if you stay up so late? What possibly kept you up?"

 

"I just have insomnia. It's a little thing I picked up while on tour," I lied. "Go to the doctor. Get some sleeping pills or something," he suggested. I laugh at him under my breath watching him be so worried.

 

"What is it?" he pouted. God, how I missed that pout. "Nothing," I grinned, "you just sound like such my eomma right now. I find it cute."

 

He blushed at my comment. He quickly turned away his face and changed the subject. "So you're going to be in a lot scenes today, huh?"

 

I nodded in response. "Tell me if you need any help. I'll be happy to give you some advice," he offered. "Okay, thanks!"

 

I get called up by Mr. Min for the filming. I waved goodbye to Jimin and went on set. Once we were all in position we began. "Scene 7 take 1!"

 

Throughout the scene I made so mistakes. The more takes we did the more paranoid I felt that everyone hated me. The anxiety was overwhelming me so much I almost had a panic attack in front of everyone.

 

"Let's just wrap this up for today. I think we all need some rest," Mr. Min gazed at me when he spoke those words. I made my way off the set and grab my stuff quickly.

_"He's disappointed in you like everyone else  is. That scene you performed was terrible. You don't deserve to live and you know that. You hate yourself more than I ever hated you."_

 

He's right, so right. I rush into one of the bathroom stalls and sink down to the floor. Tears pour down my face. I sob softly as burry my face in my arms. I'm just a mistake, no one will ever love me.

 

_"That's the right thinking. Whenever you walk into a room everyone hides away, not wanting to deal with all your problems. Why don't you do everyone and yourself a favor and just disappear? It's only a few pills away. You still have those anti depressants in your bag. If you take a handful of those you can dream and you never have wake up and face reality. Life would be so much simpler."_

 

"Just a handful of pills? That doesn't seem so painful. I could forget all the trauma. You'll forgive me right? I'm sorry appa that I killed you. I never meant to do that. Will you promise that you'll forgive me one day?"

 

 _"What? How could I forgive a stupid, useless fag like you? I will never forgive you, you don't deserve it. You should be guilty that you killed_ me. _You're nothing but a monster and you need to face that."_

 

Face my problems? What am I thinking listening to you? I promised Jungkook I'd be strong for him. In no way will I break another promise to someone again. I just need to get some help. I need to get you out of my head again.

 

I dial his number quickly and hold my phone to my ear. "Hello? Tae is that you?" he answered through the phone.

 

When heard his comforting voice, I fell apart. "Hyung, I need your help. I'm not okay, even though I say I am. I just lie to you so you won't worry. I feel like I'm suffocating. I don't know how much longer I can go without hurting myself. I almost swallowed all of my anti depressants in attempt to kill myself.

 

"I don't want to die, but I feel like that's the only option to get his voice out of my head. I can still seem him everywhere I go. I thought it would go away. I'm more fucked up than I was back then. I just want to be happy Joonie, genuinely happy," I told him through the phone.

 

”Hold on, Tae. Don't do anything reckless. I'll come get you. Where are you?" he questioned.

 

"No, don't get me. I don't want you to see me like this. I'm ashamed of myself, I'm disgusting and useless," I cried.

 

"Tae, I swear if you don't tell me where you are right now I will go crazy on you. I just want to help," he said. "No, I want to be alone right now. Let's just talk," I insisted.

 

"Tae, no I have to see you. I have to make sure you're okay-" I hung up the phone. So much of a help he was. I wipe away my tears.

 

"Tae..." a soft familiar voice called out. "Are you okay? I overheard what you had said on the phone. Do you need anything?" Jimin asked comfortingly.

 

I open the stall and see the short adorable man I'm completely in love with. His eyes widened when he saw my puffy eyes. "I need you," I requested.

 

He furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of how to reply to me. Instead he doesn't say anything, he just pulls me into a tight embrace. I missed his touch, his love, his short arms.

 

I sobbed into his shoulder and let out all the buried emotions I've had held in for years. He softly caressed my back and whispered sweet things into my ear. I feel so complete when I'm near him, he's my missing half.

 

I pull away from him slowly and wipe away the still pouring tears. "Sorry I got your shirt wet," I apologized.

 

"Do you really think I care about my shirt at a time like this? My main priority right now, is to make you feel better," he replied.

 

"Thank you," I said. "There's no need to thank me. Now, let's get out of this restroom stall and go get something to eat. We need a change of scenery. Plus, food makes everything better," he mentioned.

 

"But I-" "There is no choice Tae. I'm capturing you and buying you a meal. We both need it, so stop trying to be so polite around me and loosen up. We're friends, so don't keep on apologizing and thanking me all the time. It's just what good friends do," he told me.

 

I felt like crying a bit more, but I forced myself not to. It's been a while since someone has taken care of me like this. Especially Jimin. I'm so glad he forgave me, and I'm even more exhilarated that he is treating me like how he did back then. I can't help but think of him more than a friend, even if I agreed with him not to. I guess you could say, I'm just addicted to him.

 

___________________________

 

Lol they're getting closer again. Thanks for reading. I purple all of you!!!💜


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